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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Maybe its just the pregnancy hormones...or maybe not.<br>
Today I was looking at my husbands myspace page and noticed that one of his female coworkers had left a comment...<br>
It was a 'comic' of a man and woman at the office in a compromising position behind filing cabinets with the caption "how rumors get started at the office"<br><br>
Am I the only one who didn't think this was funny AT ALL?<br>
WTF.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ghuaghua</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9853567"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Maybe its just the pregnancy hormones...or maybe not.<br>
Today I was looking at my husbands myspace page and noticed that one of his female coworkers had left a comment...<br>
It was a 'comic' of a man and woman at the office in a compromising position behind filing cabinets with the caption "how rumors get started at the office"<br><br>
Am I the only one who didn't think this was funny AT ALL?<br>
WTF.</div>
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No, thats totally UN-funny. I would be livid also.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><br><br>
Wow. Just....wow. So inappropriate! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"><br><br>
I don't know anything about myspace, but I'm assuming that he doesn't necessarily have control over what others post in the comments? I would definitely be trying to think of a way to talk to him about it, but I'd want to be careful not to seem like I was blaming him, lest he become defensive. And I'd not want to be too harsh about the woman, because I think that might cause him to feel a need to defend her, or try to convince me that I'm overreacting, etc.<br><br>
Quite a balancing act, really. I'm glad it's not me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> My dh works in a predominately female field, but most of the ones he works with on a daily basis are his mother's age, and they all take care of him like he was a little boy. Also somewhat annoying at times, but infinitely preferable to this, IMO!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> again! I'm sorry, Mama!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SheBear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9853783"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><br><br>
Wow. Just....wow. So inappropriate! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"><br><br>
I don't know anything about myspace, but I'm assuming that he doesn't necessarily have control over what others post in the comments? I would definitely be trying to think of a way to talk to him about it, but I'd want to be careful not to seem like I was blaming him, lest he become defensive. And I'd not want to be too harsh about the woman, because I think that might cause him to feel a need to defend her, or try to convince me that I'm overreacting, etc.<br><br>
Quite a balancing act, really. I'm glad it's not me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> My dh works in a predominately female field, but most of the ones he works with on a daily basis are his mother's age, and they all take care of him like he was a little boy. Also somewhat annoying at times, but infinitely preferable to this, IMO!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> again! I'm sorry, Mama!</div>
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I would agree except that he has it set so that he can SCREEN HIS COMMENTS! So, I was pretty upset about that. He had the option of not letting it be posted, or me seeing it, but he said he thought "it was funny and didn't put that much thought into it" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Um, yeah. That's icky. I'd be annoyed too...way to make your extremely pregnant wife feel loved and cherished and totally secure there, buddy! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
Sorry, hon. I just don't understand what passes for "male humour" at times. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch">
 

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I would be livid too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: Hope you find a resolution that brings you peace.<br><br>
I'm really angry with my dh too right now, for a totally unrelated, but totally valid reason. I think I would be just as mad if I were pg, but I question that b/c of the hormones. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
Christa
 

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I would be pissed.
 

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I agree with pp. That is totally NOT funny and very disrespectful to you and your DH. Very inappropriate. Sorry that happened. I would be<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/FIREdevil.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="devil"> Then I would <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/notes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="notes">: write a letter/note to my dh and tell him how it makes me feel. I usually express myself much better on paper than screaming mad!!!<br><br>
I hope you can tell him how this makes you feel.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I am a pretty open person and know my husband is a consumate joker and a flirt (like the first time he talked to my mom on the phone, he asked her, "What are you wearing" in THAT kind of voice. It was hilarious!) but I know he's totally devoted to me.<br><br>
Yet when I am pregnant or on a hormonal roller coaster, this type of thing would have me going crazy! They really need to think about how that would impact us.<br><br>
I am not a jealous person and yet last winter when I found out he was to be going on sales calls with a buxom, attractive coworker and I went nuts.<br><br>
When I had time to think about it, I realized it was because at the time I was getting Mr. Grumpy-Puss late at night after a hard day at work and SHE (as well as his other co-workers) were getting the Prince Charming I had fallen in love with. They get to do lunches and dinners and long sales trips and inside jokes and get all his good stuff while we were getting the bad. He needed to know that so he could re-adjust his attitude at night, regardless of whether he was tired and grumpy.<br><br>
Anywhoo, I am just rambling.
 

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Yeah, that would absolutely make me want to throw up on his head.<br><br>
WAY inappropriate.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>zjande</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9854481"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yeah, that would absolutely make me want to throw up on his head.<br><br>
WAY inappropriate.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>zjande</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9854481"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yeah, that would absolutely make me want to throw up on his head.<br><br>
WAY inappropriate.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
oh man, that's funny
 

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oooo I am *so* mad for you!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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I would be more pissed off at HER, lol. But I'd probably yell at my DH and be like, "you freaking idiot, why would you choose to have that on your page?" And he would probably say the same thing your husband did - that he just found it a funny comic and didn't think about it too hard.<br><br>
If it were me - I'd be annoyed, but at the same time, he can be pretty oblivious and not understand why things that don't seem like a big deal to him might be a big deal to me. So I think I'd tell him it bothered me, and that his co-worker's a total ho-bag, and to realize why it is insensitive, and then I'd just forgive him because he does love me and wouldn't want to have made me upset. He's just a dumb boy sometimes.<br><br>
Everyone flirts w/my husband and it can be SO aggravating. At my wedding, this girl who I really don't like but was part of our social group and thus felt obligated to invite came. And she came up to me and told me that she had a crush on him forever, and still did, and wishes SHE was marrying him. (She wasn't drunk or anything; she was stone cold sober and merry and thought it would be a great thing to say.) When I got pregnant, she brought it up again and said she wishes SHE was having his baby. WHO THE HECK DOES THAT? What does she want me to say - "haha, I won and you didn't"? Or "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize - here, you can have him"? Sometimes people flirt with him and he thinks they are just being friendly and is friendly back and it seems like he's flirting back, and the whole thing can just get so messy. I usually get annoyed with the other person, though, because who thinks it's okay to flirt with a married man whose wife is about to pop a baby out?
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MmeMuffin</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9855092"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would be more pissed off at HER, lol. But I'd probably yell at my DH and be like, "you freaking idiot, why would you choose to have that on your page?" And he would probably say the same thing your husband did - that he just found it a funny comic and didn't think about it too hard.<br><br>
If it were me - I'd be annoyed, but at the same time, he can be pretty oblivious and not understand why things that don't seem like a big deal to him might be a big deal to me. So I think I'd tell him it bothered me, and that his co-worker's a total ho-bag, and to realize why it is insensitive, and then I'd just forgive him because he does love me and wouldn't want to have made me upset. He's just a dumb boy sometimes.<br><br>
Everyone flirts w/my husband and it can be SO aggravating. At my wedding, this girl who I really don't like but was part of our social group and thus felt obligated to invite came. And she came up to me and told me that she had a crush on him forever, and still did, and wishes SHE was marrying him. (She wasn't drunk or anything; she was stone cold sober and merry and thought it would be a great thing to say.) When I got pregnant, she brought it up again and said she wishes SHE was having his baby. WHO THE HECK DOES THAT? What does she want me to say - "haha, I won and you didn't"? Or "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize - here, you can have him"? Sometimes people flirt with him and he thinks they are just being friendly and is friendly back and it seems like he's flirting back, and the whole thing can just get so messy. I usually get annoyed with the other person, though, because who thinks it's okay to flirt with a married man whose wife is about to pop a baby out?</div>
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Wow, thats so crazy! I think I would punch someone in the face if they said they wanted to marry/have my husbands baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Upon reading your first post, I would have been totally livid........and I can TOTALLY see why you are upset. However, let me present a different point of view.<br>
Since he has to approve his comments, he had the option to keep that from you or display it. While completely inappropriate for her to post such a thing, you can rest assured that he's not hiding anything from you. KWIM? I'd be even more upset if I found the comment marked "denied"...I would be WAY more suspicious and infuriated if she left the comment and he didn't post it. My pregnancy paranoia would let me believe he was hiding something. However, in this case, he didn't see the need to hide it at all. He obviously felt comfortable enough in his love with you to display it, probably assuming (thought not the best assumption to make while you're pregnant) that you would either think nothing of it - or laugh along with him.<br><br>
Although, all of that said, I am too aware of what others think - and I wouldn't want anyone thinking something was going on with this coworker friend of his based on the comment she left. Did you check other coworkers pages to see if she left similar comments on their pages? Is it possible that she just has that inappropriate sense of humor? Some people just lack a "common sense" filter and don't think about how what they say/do might affect others....ESPECIALLY someone's pregnant wife!!<br><br>
Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending either of them. Just offering a different point of view that may help you see it at another angle.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MmeMuffin</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9855092"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">At my wedding, this girl who I really don't like but was part of our social group and thus felt obligated to invite came. And she came up to me and told me that she had a crush on him forever, and still did, and wishes SHE was marrying him. (She wasn't drunk or anything; she was stone cold sober and merry and thought it would be a great thing to say.) When I got pregnant, she brought it up again and said she wishes SHE was having his baby. WHO THE HECK DOES THAT? What does she want me to say - "haha, I won and you didn't"? Or "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize - here, you can have him"? Sometimes people flirt with him and he thinks they are just being friendly and is friendly back and it seems like he's flirting back, and the whole thing can just get so messy. I usually get annoyed with the other person, though, because who thinks it's okay to flirt with a married man whose wife is about to pop a baby out?</div>
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OMG. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw">
 

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Um yeah, I would not be happy about that!!! Especially if he has his settings where he would need to approve the comment! He would definitely get an ear full from me!!
 
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