[MJB]

I'm only 14 weeks pregnant but I am DONE. Seriously, I do not want to be pregnant anymore. In the past 14 weeks I've had the swine flu, 2 UTIs, a cough that's lasted for over a month (and still going), and most recently, a stomach bug with excruciating pain, vomiting, and diarrhea. I feel too weak to do *anything*-- I leave my house only when absolutely necessary and it feels like a Herculean effort just to straighten up the house. I have zero patience for my children and am yelling at them constantly. All they do is trash the house and fight with each other, and I don't even care anymore if one of them gets hurt. I get short of breath from yelling at them and it makes me angrier. I get short of breath from cleaning up after them and it makes me angry. I'm a miserable, hostile ball of venom. I've been to the doctor already, who gave me medicine that didn't help. I've spent well over $100 that we don't have on doctor visits and medicines for this cough. I forget what it felt like to be healthy. I forget why I wanted another baby. I just can't take this anymore! I'm crying out of self-pity right now.

 

[rightkindofme]

It sounds like you are in a sucktastic place right now. I'm really sorry. You know what though? This will end. It really will. It'll be annoying and unfun and hard and... then it will end. You can make it through. And you'll remember why you wanted another child.

 

[carrierenee]

hugs to you mama, sounds like you've had it rough lately. Seems like you should go out and have some relaxing time for yourself!

 

[Mama Mko]

 

[momongeon]

Wow you got hit hard with all that. You will bounce back. I haven't been half as sick as you and I feel the same way about the kids/house/life. Can you take a break from it all? Is there anyone that can take the kids for an hr or two escape to take a bath or anything else that calms you? It won't necessarily help during the stressful times but at least your alone time will be well used.

I really hope you feel better soon!!!

 

[MJB]

Thanks for the support. I had a good long cry and a shower and feel a little better. I know I won't be sick *forever* but it sure feels like it!
Unfortunately, we don't *have* a bath tub to take a bath in. And I don't want to go anywhere because the cold air hitting my lungs causes awful coughing spasms-- to the point of vomiting. Also, the cough has the other fun side effect of making me pee my pants.
Someday I'll laugh about this, right?

 

[the elyse]

i'm so sorry! i can't imagine going through all that. hope you find a little me time and some rest.

 

[lunarlady]

Maybe someday when that bean in your belly is a teenager shouting "I hate you!" and then storming out and being a complete PITA, you will look back and say "maybe those days of coughing and peeing and throwing up wern't so bad after all."

Then agian, maybe not. Hang in there. I have bad days too, and I end up being totally toxic to everyone around me. I try to isolate myself a bit for the good of all involved, but I know how hard it is. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[somegirl99]

hang in there

 

[amyrobynne]

I'm sorry

You can't stay that sick forever -- something will have to get better soon.

I haven't had a quarter of that much sickness and I'm sick of my kids' yelling and bickering and just want to hide somewhere they can't find me.

 

[MJB]

Thanks, y'all. This morning is nice-- my 4yo is at preschool, my 7yo (AKA the good one) is home sick with me, we're listening to music and had some hot cocoa for breakfast. Maybe I'll try leaving the house later on. I'd really like some library books at least.

 

[naturalmomma1]

I hope you start feeling much, much better soon. That is just awful to go through. With my last pregnancy, I spent about 5 weeks of it feeling just miserable...being sick on top of the pregnancy...I could hardly get out of bed, just walking across the house took too much energy. And after all that awfulness, I miscarried at 12 weeks (nothing to do with the sickness)! I thought, I can't believe I went through all that for heartbreak! I felt bad for my girls because our summer was pretty much nothing. I had a teenage girl we know come over and help me with the kids a lot, and that was definitely helpful. Maybe you know someone like that who could help out?

 

[MammaB21]

I'm sorry your feeling so icky. I know how you feel. I've been really sick throughout this pregnancy as well. I had H1N1 at the beginning that lasted weeks. Then I had a cold. Now we have RSV I think and DD has a high fever and an ear infection. So I'm taking care of myself and my sick little one. Add pregnancy exhaustion and morning sickness to the mix and you've got yourself some hard days. But like others have said, it will get better. I'm looking forward to getting that second trimester boost of energy, and I know it will come soon. Pretty soon you'll be a new woman. For me this part of pregnancy is what takes the longest. Once I get that new boost of energy and my belly starts growing and baby starts kicking things just fly by and then boom, you have a baby. Hang in there!!! Drink lots of fluids and rest as much as possible.

 

[kimkim]

it'll pass

 

[McK.E]

I know kind of how you feel although it doesn't sound like I've had it as bad as you. We've had a round of illnesses in our house including the stomach bug which I haven't had (yet), ear infection, cough and cold. My husband is away at work for the month so I've been dealing with everybody alone with all day sickness and extreme fatigue. The day of the tummy bug the toilet clogged due to an entire roll of tp being shoved down it. I spent the afternoon trailing around Lowe's feeling horribly dizzy with two feverish kids. I then spent the evening wading around in poo water before I finally took the toilet apart. It still won't flush quite right. I keep bursting into tears at the smallest things and I feel horribly depressed at home by myself. I know that in a few short weeks I'll feel less tired and be able to eat again, but for now I am being a very ungraceful mother. I feel awful when I drop the kids at school because I know they must be relieved to be there, so there is a bunch of guilt when I do get a break.
I seem to get a small burst of energy in the evenings. It's enough to gag through making dinner and get the laundry on. Maybe I can even muster up the energy to sweep yesterdays noodles of the floor or wipe down the bathroom sink. Then it's back to bed.
There have been times when I don't remember why I wanted to get pregnant either. I do remember a moment like this in my previous pregnancy with dd. I told my husband that this would absolutely be the last time I'd do it. I couldn't handle feeling sick and tired for so long. It can't have been long after that when I started to feel her kicking and the nausea began to subside. I had a lovely rest of my pregnancy and I know we'll get there this time.
Just hang in there. It'll be over soon and it will all have been so worth it.

 

[meganlisbeth]

oh Mama. i hope you are feeling better soon. you were really hit hard. take good care.

 

[MJB]

Thanks everyone. And I'm sorry to hear that other mamas are dealing with sickness now too. The toilet fiasco would have driven me over the edge. My 7yo has been home the past 3 days with an ear infection (the second he's had in his life) so we just keep getting hit.
I think that I'm FINALLY getting better. I haven't taken cough medicine today or yesterday for the first time since early January. I'm still coughing but not so bad, and I'm really congested but I can deal with that. I DTD with my husband last night for the first time in 2 weeks (as long as we went postpartum!) which made me feel much better. I haven't left the house since last Friday but I feel capable of doing so now, if only my 7yo wasn't sick! It snowed yesterday and the weather isn't exactly inviting anyway. My 4yo is going nuts cooped up in here though!

My husband's 30th bday is this month and my SIL decided to fly in from NYC and throw him a surprise party (which will really be all on me) so I really need to be back at 100% soon.

 

[naturalmomma1]

We had H1N1 in October and the cough DOES last for WEEKS. Oh my gosh it was so frustrating.