I'm so stressed out and so angry and so FRUSTRATED. I just don't know what the hell is going on my with H. We are not divorced. He left us last month (me and my 2 kiddos, plus a baby on the way for Dec.) He just told me he didn't love me, didn't want to be with me, and he was so unhappy. Oh yeah, and he didn't want the baby either. Fine. I have really been ok with it. I mean, I got tired of cleaning up after him, having him treat me like crapola, and acting like an 18 year old with no responsibility. So whats the problem?
He is confusing me
He still calls every day and wants to shoot the breeze and chit chat. Then he asks to talk to the kids. Which is fine, I WANT him to call the kids. I just don't want him to ask me how *I* am. He doesn't deserve to know IMO. And he comes to see the kids 3-4 times a week, soemtimes more. But when he comes, he wants to STAY. Hang out here like he always has. But this is MY house now, yanno? I don't really want him here. I don't think he has the right to hang out here, watch my tv, and eat my food. If you were lookin in from the outside, its like he still lives here, just doesn't sleep here. If he doesn't want to be with me, he shouldn't want to be here! He should just pick up the kids and go, right?
And then tomorrow, I've told him the last 2 weeks that my mom is giving me a 30th bday party. I've been telling him he has to have the kids home by 4. Well he calls today and says, "its ok if i come get them at 3, right?" I of course remind him of my party, and then he says he's all disappointed he can't have them... when its MY freaking birthday party, AND I've been telling him all week.
I just feel liek I'm getting SO TOTALLY walked all over. He has everything he wants. He sees the kids when he wants, lives where he wants, gos out with the guys when he wants, and he comes here when he wants. And what do I get? A pregnancy alone, kids who don't understand and blame me for him leaving, chaotic financial stress, and a heartache that just doesn't understand any of this.
I just feel like the lots of the stress I am feeling shouldn't even be happening