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Discussion Starter #1
I can't find exh.Usually he is here everyday.We haven't seen or heard from him since 10am on Monday.He has no job,no phone,and I can't get to where he lives with his nephew right now,I'm not even sure which building it is.A little backround- he recently sold his drumset so he has money.He's an alcoholic so he could just be on a long drinking binge.I'm just getting so worried.I could probably call his nephew at work,but I don't want him to get in trouble.He works in a busy fast food place.He doesn't have a phone either.WWYD in this situation?Should I give it a few more days?The kids are starting to get upset.I can't sleep very well I'm worrying so much.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I would call the police for the area he is in. The non emergency number. Tell them this is unusual for him and see if they can find him.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Can you go to the fast food place that his nephew works at and just sort of "run into" him in order to talk to him for a minute? Does he work at the front counter, or in the back? I would think that if you went in in person, it might not be quite as likely to get him into trouble. Is there any way you can leave a message for his nephew at his work to call you when he is on his break?<br><br>
I am so sorry you are going through this. How stressful for you and for your kids. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Any update?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I still haven't heard from him.I think today is his nephew's day off but I'm still going to try calling him in a little while,when the lunch rush is over.Hopefully I can leave a message.I'm also going to try the police.I'll post what happens after I talk to them.I just hope he's not hurt somewhere.I'm going to be so upset if he's just out getting drunk,he knows I worry.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Well his nephew's not working today.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">I'm hoping to go down to the police station later today.I just called and they said I had to go down there to file a report.Right now I have to wait for ds and dd.I'm starting to panic.
 

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Oh my ....Hope things work out try not to panic!!
 

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I am going to be slightly cold hearted but I don't think it is healthy on you or the kids for you to chase him down.<br><br>
I would be honest with your kids. You don't know were he is. When he shows up he will show up. Acknowledge their pain. Help them through it but stop enabling and causing more turmoil.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Marsupialmom,my therapist said pretty much the same thing.I'm going to try to let it go,it's just so hard,yk?I'm not going to go to the police station,I've thought about it and his id still says my address so I'm sure if something happens I'll find out.I've been honest with the kids.They know about his drinking problem,they know I don't know where he is.Ds doesn't quite understand,but dd does.I just have a hard time letting go,I've done everything for him for so long.I know I need to stop enabling him.I just hope he's ok.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Something could have happened to him, If it were my exh I would chase down all leads to find him, but it is a different situation I think, since we are very close and I really care about his welfare.<br><br>
If it were my dss biomom, If it was unusual for her to vanish (she does this a lot). I would still call local hospitals and call in for a welfare check.<br><br>
She is my sons mom and like it or not is a part of my family, I would do it for my dss.<br><br>
I am sorry you are going through this, I can't imagine how stressful it is. I hope you find him soon.
 
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