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Just found out yesterday that - surprise! I'm pregnant, almost 3 years after a miscarriage that almost broke us. I've "known" for almost a week, but didn't test until yesterday. And of course, now I'm petrified of every little cramp, and twinge. I'm constantly checking the TP, and worried over everything.<br><br>
We didn't know if we were going to try again, ever. We've gone back and forth, sometimes changing our minds multiple times in the space of one conversation. I have 4 children already, and due to their ages (7 -17) I thought we had finally reconciled ourselves to the fact that the miscarried babies were our last.<br><br>
I hate this. I had a loss between my oldest 2, that made things pretty rough, but with 2 under my belt, I feel absolutely neurotic. I just keep thinking that the last miscarriage was my fault, because the while one of the babies didn't ever develop to the point of having a heartbeat, the other did...and then, the day before my DH's birthday, the heart had stopped beating. What did I do that I shouldn't have? What didn't I do that I should have?<br><br>
I find myself trying to cope with the shock, and with every less than stellarly happy thought, rapidly following it up with a message to the universe that I do NOT want to have another miscarriage. I do not want to have another loss. I'm just so surprised to be pregnant again.
 

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You absolutely belong here...in PAL- pregnancy after loss. There are many mommas here and with lots of different situations- early losses, multiple losses, 2nd trimester losses, stillbirths, full term losses, infant loss, mommas with living children, mommas with no living children. But we are all in the club that no one wants to be a part of.....we all have experienced pregnancy/birth loss.<br><br>
Try checking out the long "May" thread in this forum. It seems to be the place where most of us do our posting, and we'd love to support you through your journey!
 

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Yes, what Heather said exactly! We're here to hold your hand and listen, or whatever you need <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> And of course, congratulations <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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wow...hugs! my kids are similar in age to your and i just KNEW i was too old, had too many already, would never get pg again. it took a while, but we finally got our rainbow. i had a ROUGH pg, so neurotic was the norm for me! hoping your rainbow is only a short, uneventful 8 mos away!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Wanted to thank those of you who responded. I'll get over to the other thread eventually. I'm in a weird place at the moment- alternating between being a bit obsessed with the whole thing (midwives, names, plans), to trying to avoid thinking about it. I'd just like to fast forward, and have whatever is going to happen, happen, so I can move on.<br><br>
Thanks!
 
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