[mackysmama]

I have never lived a frugal life. I grew up in wasteful privlege and never learned the skills. I am a SAHM and my partner makes a pretty good income and does contract work to supplement. We are very good about paying our bills on time and have never been in financial trouble, but we live paycheck to paycheck (though with back-ups that others don't have, like retirement savings, etc.). But, we have credit card debt, we don't have savings, we don't have college funds for our kids, etc. We WASTE money on stupid, silly things. We don't go out and make huge purchases - we have old furniture, old electronics, etc. We spend our money at Target or too much at the grocery store, or on little (perspective) stuff for our kids, and on eating out. Looking through our bank statement you'll see lots of purchases for $7-$15 on lunches, $20-25 purchases for take-out or eating out, etc. Nothing outrageous but it adds up quickly, without us taking much notice.

I've been doing a much better job of grocery shopping so that we eat at home more (except for lunches - we need help with that). We are going to remove the credit card and debit card from our wallets and just carry checks for "just in case." I think this will help us a lot, but will be a very difficult transition for us.

So, my questions. Do you take cash out every pay day, every week, every month? If so, what is this cash for (groceries, lunch out, meals out, doctor's visits, etc.)? How do you keep track of the cash and how do you keep it safe? Do you find you spend the cash quickly?

How do you pay for groceries? With cash or with a debit card/check? How do you pay for putting gas in your car(s)? What if there is an unexpected expense (doctor's visit, broken coffee pot, etc.)

How do you avoid taking out too much cash or too little? How do you know how much you'll need?

Basically, I need some life lessons that I missed in my childhood. And, please remember that this is going to be a real challenge for us and I don't want us to fail so want to do this in steps.

Thanks mamas. I appreciate the support (oh, and for that, can you direct me to some other threads that might help keep me accountable?)

 

[bwylde]

I just lost a big post!

We were where you are. Know where everything is going. Question every purchase. Shop with a list. Be aware of everything you are buying and ask yourself if you really need what you are buying.

Be prepared if you are going to be out at a time when you may be tempted to buy a meal (pack snacks and or a lunch).

What we do wouldn't work for everyone, especially if you already have debt (we have none). We use our mastercard for everything, including most bill payments. We get points that we convert to cash and earn a lot each year. We then pay off our bill right away. We check our account online daily and we are hyper villigent about making sure we know where everything is and where it's going.

 

[janerose]

What we do is take out all our spending money biweekly when DH gets paid. For us this is $480 broken down into:

$120 gas
$220 groceries/pets/toiletries/etc
$20 spending DH
$20 spending me
$20 gifts/cards
$80 entertainment

I put each of those (well, except our spending money) into envelopes. When the envelope is empty that's it for that paycheck.

Go to your library & check out the Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn. She has tons of great ideas. Just choose one thing every week or so & work on it until it's habit, then move onto a new thing.

Good luck! You can do it!

Blessings,
Holly

PS: Had to laugh when I read your "location" ...read mine & you'll see what I mean!

 

[bwylde]

Oh, the no spend thread is great for accountability. You don't have to literally spend nothing BTW

 

[Crunchy*VT*Mom]

I'm in Vermont and don't know what you two are dreaming about...it is COLD here. We had to put on fleece yesterday at the pool because everyone was shivering so much. And it is JUNE.

Write everything down.

I find that helps me tremendously. I carry a little notebook in my purse and just write down every single purchase.

I write it down if I put $.50 in the parking meter!

This makes you much more conscious of where your money is going.

 

[frog]

mm, the first thing to do is write down everything you spend for a week/month (whatever makes sense) so you can see where your money really goes. That way, you can figure out what a reasonable amount of cash is for you.

We take out cash at the beginning of the month for fun money and takeout--the fun money goes in our wallets, the takeout money goes in an envelope in the kitchen.

Maybe that's a place to start? I've found that if I/we try to go whole-hog with something, we don't do it at all, wheras if we change a few things at a time, the impact is greater without stressing us out too much.

 

[Valkyrie9]

I know how easy it can be to spend quick money on something cute/fun for the kid(s). One thing that has helped me was looking around at all DD's toys, and going through and picking out all the crap she doesn't play with. Look at the pile, think about why the kid(s) aren't interested in that toy, and make a mental note to never splurge on anything like that again. Another good thing is to acknowledge a particular toy they like at a store, but don't buy it. If you're like me, you'll be thankful that you didn't indulge the impulse before you even get back out to the car.

 

[mackysmama]

Thanks everyone! We use our debit card's exclusively so can easily track where our money goes. Mostly, it goes to Taco Cabana

I think our first step is to take the debit and credit cards out of our wallets. We'll still have checks because it feels too scary to not have that right now, but hopefully we will eventually go to cash only. I think cash for spending money is good for us but I'll bring the debit card to the grocery store until I feel certain of what our monthly food budget should be. And, I think I would dip into the grocery/gas/etc. money in order to pay for take-out, etc. But, if we can only use our debit cards if we take them out of the drawer, that will reduce A LOT of our spending. I think that's a good place to start. I can see taking them out for grocery shopping, car gas, and doc appointments and such. I think getting a monthly gift card for Target will help A LOT (that place just sucks me in - I go in for toilet paper and come out with a desk!

: ).

Any other suggestions? I am really appreciating the advice and experience.

 

[straighthaircurly]

I prefer to use credit cards because it is easier to analyze my spending each month, but I always pay them off each month. This doesn't work for everyone.
I won't talk about day-to-day spending because other people have some great ideas for you. But I will talk about getting some savings going. Start by getting a separate account and put every other or at least every third paycheck into it. At first use that money to pay off old credit card debt (NOT any new debt you incur...that has to stop immediately). Once those are paid off then that money should be used for savings and investment only. If your partner has a retirement fund available at work, contribute the max if there is company matching. Then do some simple investing for the long term...it is astonishing how much money grows over time, compound interest is a powerful thing. Even when I was only making $6000/year I would put some money into an investment account every month. That money would get put away first, then I could spend the rest. If you wait to see if there will be $$ left at the end of the month, you will never save anything because nothing will be left!

 

[1happymom]

My advice is to read on this board and ask lots of questions that's what I plan on doing!! : )

 

[boogiemonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mackysmama I think getting a monthly gift card for Target will help A LOT (that place just sucks me in - I go in for toilet paper and come out with a desk! : ).

We used to come home with too many "extras" as well. I did a HUGE declutter in the winter and that has totally changed the way I think about "stuff". Once I saw how much we really had, and what percentage of it we actually used, it was much easier not to bring anything else in. I decided not to keep anything I didn't love or use regularly, so now I don't bring anything in that doesn't match that same criteria.

Good luck!

 

[mightymoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by straighthaircurly I prefer to use credit cards because it is easier to analyze my spending each month, but I always pay them off each month. This doesn't work for everyone.

i'm in this camp too - we use credit cards, but pay them off each month. I tend to use the account access online to help track expenses. I do have to watch myself to keep myself from spending mindlessly - just loading up the cart and not thinking about how much it adds up to, whether I really need it etc.

For me 'budgets' tend to get on my nerves. I just get frustrated with trying to categorize every little purchase on a weekly or monthly basis and ofttimes I find a monthly budget is inadequate - there are only a few categories that you spend on a monthly basis, many others are really buy a lot one month and litle the next.

I look at it simply - you bring in X a month, you can't spend more than X. The best way to make sure of this is to keep track of how much you have left every month. I have a spreadsheet in excel, at the top of each monthly tab is the amount DH takes home (well technically the amount we give ourselves, any extra goes into investment) - the goal is to spend less than that in a month. I keep track of all my bills in one section and all my expenses in another. Since i know the bills at the beginning of the month generally that stays pretty static. I keep an annual budget that I contribute to monthly and three budget categories for the month - really more place holders than anything - groceries, gas, and DH's commuting costs. I dont' consider the budget categories set in stone, all that really matters is that we spend less than we take in, but I put them there as 'place holders', so that at the beginning of the month I know how much money I have to spend on non-gas non-grocery, non-annual items. (Annual are gifts, holidays, vacation, anything that I feel like it keeps getting more detailed).

Really I think the key is to start, in whatever way you feel comfortable, you can figure out your own system as you go along. Each month I tend to add something new to my little excel spreadsheet and its gotten much more complex over time, but I contructed it, so its what works best for me.

 

[mackysmama]

Thanks mamas!

My partner and I officially surrendered our debit and credit cards to the drawer. We carry checks. My partner was weary at first but the checks made her feel more comfortable (and I reminded her that she has a cell phone in case of a true immediate emergency).

And, I went grocery shopping for $58! I'll probably spend another $10 tomorrow at another store and these will get us through a week. I usually spend about $150 a week. That felt great!

 

[rainbowmoon]

doesn't it feel great?!?

 

[A&A]

Dave Ramsey has a lot of great advice about getting out of debt, etc.

 

[becoming]

No real advice since DH & I are still just frugalbabies ourselves, but I wanted you to know your OP sounds JUST like us, before we started trying to save money. Meal planning and keeping better track of our spending has helped us sooo much, and I feel much more "in control" of my life now.

Good luck on this journey!

 

[arahzel]

I think dining was our HUGE money eater.

One big thing we did was give ourselves an allowance each week. We each get $30. If we want to eat out, or buy something for ourselves, it come out of that. Beer/wine comes out of that, too. Also, cigarettes if we smoked and one of the big reasons I did this in the first place was because DH was spending WAY too much money IMO on beer and cigarettes. He quit smoking, lol. I was spending too much on lunches. We decided on $25 weekly, and after we paid off all of our debt, we raised it.

Now when we want something big, like a new video game, or DH wants a new computer, we save our allowances.

We have "club" accounts at our bank which are attached to our savings account. We each have our own, as does DD. (She gets an allowance, too, for college savings). I usually put $10 in the bank and take $20 for myself. That way if I want something I can get it on my own later. I'm taking a trip to Texas this summer with my money.

With allowances you have some freedom in spending. I hate not having money on me. It makes me feel a little helpless. I find now that I usually have money left over during the week. We both miss eating out, but when we have to pay for it with our personal funds, it seems like too much to pay.

One thing we had to really buckle down on was keeping food in the house to eat at lunchtime.

Good luck!

 

[justmama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mackysmama Thanks everyone! We use our debit card's exclusively so can easily track where our money goes. Mostly, it goes to Taco Cabana .

OOOOh, tacos

 

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

Meal planning has really helped me. There are lot's of tips on how to do that floating around.

Basically I try to sit down once a week, usually on Saterday and write down what I want to have for supper each night for the week. I plan on making enough leftovers for lunches the next day and we generally have yogurt, or oatmeal or something like that for breakfast.

I look at waht we have in the pantry and/or freezer and what's on sale and figure out 7 meals I want to make from that. Then i look at what our scedual is for the week. On days with a lot going on, I might plan on a quick meal or a slowcooker meal that will be ready when we get home. On days when we have more time I'll do something more elaborite and maybe do some prep for other meals during the week. Then I shop once for everything I need (I make one other trip mid week for milk and produce).

I spend less time in the store so there are less impulse buys. I use up the food we have so there is less waste. And I already know what's for dinner and have everything i need for it so there is less temptation to order takeout.

 

[mackysmama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by faerybugmady OOOOh, tacos

Yes, it is one of the few drive-thrus with a vegetarian menu. And they are just so plentiful around town!

I have found meal planning to help a lot in reducing our take-out and dinners out. I just need to find a solution for lunches. Planning meals that will have leftovers seems to help - it did this week. And, I think I'll buy some vegetarian bacon, which I usually think is kind of expensive, so that I can make some BLTs (YUM!). In the end, it will save me money because I won't do as much take-out.