You have not f****d up. You wish you had done things differenly. None of us are perfect.... being a mom is hard. I try to learn from the times I wish I had handled things differently. Keep those lines of communication open. I'm sure I will be facing this same thing soon as my daughter just turned nine. It's scary that they grow up so fast and scary that we educate them so they can make decisions on their own and then become scared or upset about those decisions..... Hang in there!