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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I ended my relationship today. It has been off and on for 6 years. It took a lot of courage. I feel alone and scared. I feel unsure of my decision and so sure at the same time. I feel unsure of things with my ex and how it will work out for me and my children. I am so scared. I have never been alone, never lived solo. I moved out of my parents house and in with this man and have had unsuccessful and bad relationships since. I have no clue who I am. No clue where I am at in life. I'm not sure what I am going to do about money. Right now I receive unemployment checks, WIC, and medicaid. I just was taken off of foodstamps, but plan to go to the office tomorrow and reapply. I will also apply for fuel assistance when I am in my new place. If the ex refuses to pay child support then I will apply for welfare benefits and let it iron out in court.<br><br>
I need a bank acct<br>
I need to secure my new apartment<br>
I need at least a part time job<br><br>
I'm scared, can someone please offer any reassurance?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br><br>
It seems impossible at first and then step by step things fall into place.<br><br>
I'm sorry it's scary and overwhelming.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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When I made my childrens father leave for the last time I had no job (I had just gotten one but lost it the 2nd day because he disappeared and I couldn't find a last minute sitter), no money, no assistance, just me and the kids. I applied for services and jobs right away and found cruddy childcare. I had a garage sale and sold what I had left and made a very small amount of money to get pancake ingredients and a few hours of daycare money. I decided that as long as every step I took got me in the right direction I wouldn't worry about the exact path so I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. You will be ok eventually just keep on keeping on.
 

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mama please know many of us have walked the same road as you. or at least similar.<br><br>
with similar situations.<br><br>
you will be surprised to see how the world is full of miracles and 'fairy godparents' who are willing to help.<br><br>
life is NOT going to be easy... but its a hardship that leads to confidence and joy.<br><br>
just live moment to moment, one day at a time... and just watch how things fall into place.<br><br>
i can honestly say that being a single mom has been teh scariest thing i have ever experienced... yet it is the most profound fulfilling experience too. the funniest part. the profound experiences all happened when i had hit rock bottom. let me tell you i have hit rock bottom so many times that i am not scared of it anymore.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
So later that evening he came home. He has been here ever since and I cannot seem to make him understand this is over. I am just waiting to hear more about my apartment and get into it asap.<br><br>
It is really hard being here and not being able to get away. He and I talked for hours that day and I was for once the most honest I have ever been with him. He seems to think we are still together. Rather than upset him and make him yell in front of the kids I am going to just wait until I have somewhere to go and leave.... UGH...
 

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Hi NaturalMindedMama, I read this thread and really identified with your story. Have you managed to get into the new apartment? I am in a similar situation, and my no money situation is what is holding me back. I had found an apartment during the summer, although not ideal (large deposit and rent was a bit high), but I ended up backing down -partly discouraged by the price (I live in a rural area and rentals pop up rarely, that's why I couldn't look at other places.).<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>meemee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14710738"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i can honestly say that being a single mom has been teh scariest thing i have ever experienced... yet it is the most profound fulfilling experience too. the funniest part. the profound experiences all happened when i had hit rock bottom. let me tell you i have hit rock bottom so many times that i am not scared of it anymore.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I did get the apartment. The landlord has been very understanding of my situation. I am still living in our shared apartment with the girls dad because my apartment is not done being renovated. I move in on the first of the year.<br><br>
I finally have gotten it across to him that we are different people who want different things. We are remaining friends for our kids. Not sure how it will all go once I am out. He tends to be jealous...<br><br>
So finally I am free. Free to live my own life. I went and applied for food stamps and with unemployment and child support it will be tight, but I will be ok....
 

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Wow! That is so awesome! That is so great that you managed to organise all of that and can look forward to new things! I really admire that.
 
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