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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, I'm posting to hopefully just get this fear out "there" and out of me...

With DD I was induced (41+ weeks for low fluid) but managed through the pitocin in 8 hours without an epidural...and I credit the jacuzzi tub I got to labor in for 3 hours (and a hand massage from my MW).

I also had my best friend in the world there with me and DH who helped us through, emotionally, and took care of me a week before (drove me around the city, to movies, etc. made me laugh).

I also had my beloved notebook from my 8 week natural birthing class in Chicago.

This time around, our hospital does not have tubs. We could rent a tub, and bring it in, but truthfully the whole idea of having to manage that stresses me out completely- the logistics, the nurses possibly not wanting it, etc. Too much clutter for me to handle.

I am PETRIFIED that without the tub I will fail, or cave, or whatever, and end up with drugs or a C. I do have a friend who gave birth without drugs, without a tub, and I've spoken with her about how she managed, so it's not like I don't believe it's possible.

But I've lost all my security blankets here! My tub, my best friend (is stuck in Michigan with a job to her dismay), and my wonderful notes (what to do if something goes "wrong", points to push back on with nurses, etc.). It's a new hospital, a new OB. Oh, sigh. bWe have no funds for a doula, and no one to ask for it.

The good news is that this is the second babe, right? So it could be much easier. My OB seems very cool with the whole natural birth thing, as does the hospital (they don't do anything with the babies for an hour and a half to allow bonding as standard procedure). When I showed my OB my birth plan, she was like, "good. good. yep. yep. Perfect. Don't change a thing." Even with waiting on the cord cutting, which my last MW was even nervous about. And I'm hoping the pitocin made everything harder than it will be without (assuming I get to go without). But I've heard from many on this board that they noticed no difference.

Anyway. PLEASE TAKE THESE FEARS FROM ME!!

My husband, meanwhile, is totally confident that I can do this. He's a dream supporter, keeps talking about how I'm made for this, my hearty peasant stock, my linebacker determination. But I'm scared. Scared, scared, scared. I don't even know what slow progressive labor is like as last time I went from nothing to Pitocin hell in an hour. What if I screw up? What if I get to the hospital too early? Too late?

See? I'm a mess.
 

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First of all it's great that your hubby is so supportive, that at least should (I hope) alleviate some of the worry you might have about not having your best friend around.

Have you considered showers instead of the labour pool (if that's an option at the hospital)? I know our birth educator (who is also a doula) recommended just taking long showers if that was the only thing availible to you for pain relief.

Another thing I've heard about is that you could possibly find a doula free of charge through http://www.dona.org/ the Doulas of North America organisation. Mostly this would be "trainee" doulas though, people who haven't gotten enough hours to qualify for the doula accreditation yet. It's worth seeing if there's someone near you that could help you with that.

Other than that, I can't really help you, as I'm due with my first and know even less what to expect than you do


I do know where to find the inflatable pools that they sometimes use for home/water birth really cheap, as we have one for our planned home water birth, so if you need that information I can pass on if necessary.

Also, our birth educator just recommended against going to the hospital too soon, and to try and stay home until it's really uncomfortable and at the point where you can't talk through your contractions anymore (active rather than early labour). Mostly because being in hospitals can slow labour down a bit with all the additional stress and stuff going on around you which can be distracting.

I hope this helps somewhat, and good luck!

Marieke
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks, M.

Yes, the hospital has a shower -- and I used one with #1 for about an hour. And cold/hot packs, too. Of course, when I think rationally, it's not as dim as I am making it out.

I do remember when the contractions stopped being talk-through-able. Actually, another good friend of mine even noticed. She had been hanging out with us, making us laugh, and suddenly I wasn't laughing any more during a contraction, hanging onto the IV pole for dear life. "OK! MY job's done here!" she said, and left (She's not very crunchy or natural birthy, and so I was amazed she was there at all, lol).

When I told my OB about wanting to get to the hospital as late as possible, she was like, "Good. We like that!"

And yes, I am EXCEPTIONALLY LUCKY to have my DH. He is just plain wonderful.

I am very resistant to change. I'm nervous. I want my "blankets," YKWIM? I mean, I'm not even in the same STATE this time.

Now, of course, I'm gonna now go tell YOU that all will be well! I'm surprised this is your first. I've seen a bunch of your posts and you always sound so informative and in the know! Must be a good reader, note taker!
 

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I totally understand how you feel. I think of it as wanting a reliable 'crutch' - something that gives you confidence because you KNOW it worked last time.

For me it is a TNS machine (a little machine that gives small electric shocks to your back, stimulating a pain response). When I was pg with ds I decided that that was just too weird and it was the one method of pain relief I really didn't want to try. In the end it was the only method I DID use! I couldn't sit in a bath because I wanted to stand up during contractions, and the shower did nothing for me. The only thing that worked for me was massage and towards the end the TNS machine, as recommended by my midwife (I never tried any drugs). It took the edge off just enough for me to cope well with the contractions, and had no effect on pushing - or on the baby's health, for that matter.

The minute I got pregnant here, the first thing I asked was 'where can I get hold of a TNS machine?' I cannot imagine going through labour without one - just to have it there, even if I don't choose to use it in the end. Luckily I can borrow one for free from my midwife's office.

I wish I had some practical advice for you, but I don't know anything about renting a tub. I like Marieke's idea of renting a cheap inflatable one, though, if you can manage it.

And yes, do remember that if you are not being induced the contractions will probably be a lot easier to deal with.

Good luck!
 

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First, remember that laboring with Pit is TOTALLY different than laboring without it. So, the first thing I'd recommend is to avoid induction. I just had a client/friend who avoided induction (just barely) after an indcution with her first. She said that the births are not even comparable. Second, do you have a tub at your home? If so, stay home for as long as you can. It can at least help you through that part of your labor. Also, find a doula. She'll be familiar with hospital policy, perhaps, and you can have someone there who is trained to help you advocate for yourself.

You can also start another notebook. Start now and write down those things that you think you'll need to read during the labor.

It sounds like hospital birth is perhaps not the place for your birthing, is there a birth center or HB midwife around who can help you?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Nordic - the TNS machine sounds groovy (and intimidating). I'd never heard of them. Glad you found one! Yeah, total crutch panic.


"First, remember that laboring with Pit is TOTALLY different than laboring without it."

Onlyboys - not to be argumentative, but is it always? There was another thread here awhile back where a bunch of mamas said they couldn't tell the difference with their induced and non-induced births. I had previously thought they were very different, but am now wondering if it's just luck.

"Second, do you have a tub at your home? If so, stay home for as long as you can. It can at least help you through that part of your labor."

Absolutely. That's the plan.

"You can also start another notebook. Start now and write down those things that you think you'll need to read during the labor. "

That's a good point. I just trusted my MW teacher so much last time...but yeah, this seems an obvious solution, doesn't it?

"It sounds like hospital birth is perhaps not the place for your birthing, is there a birth center or HB midwife around who can help you?"

Nope, nope, nope, for a variety of reason which I'll spare you. But I am actually comfortable with the idea of a hospital, and I do like my OB, and the hospital has a rep for being very natural birth friendly all things considered.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pom
Onlyboys - not to be argumentative, but is it always? There was another thread here awhile back where a bunch of mamas said they couldn't tell the difference with their induced and non-induced births. I had previously thought they were very different, but am now wondering if it's just luck.
I had 15 minutes of Pit and YES! for me. It was sheer hell on earth. I'm not exaggerating. I'd be interested in perusing that thread, as I've not ever heard a mama tell me that. The ones who have had pit and then natural births have always told me that it's a lot more of a violent beginning.

I think one of the major differences is that your body doing it naturally usually begins with contractions that begin gently and are spaced far enough apart that you are able to mentally stay with the labor. Your body begins to build the endorphins that are so important for later "labor-land" and with pit, the ctx begin suddenly.

Just my observation, though. Certainly if you *don't* want to avoid induction, you don't have to.


Good for you for feeling comfy with your surroundings. I must have read your OP wrong, because you sounded like you were running scared, and that's not generally a good place to start labor. I'm glad I was wrong and that you are happy with your birth choices! Good luck to you!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by NordicMamma
I like Marieke's idea of renting a cheap inflatable one, though, if you can manage it.
I meant to buy, not rent. I'm not sure if you can rent them.

The two that I've seen advertised on most sites for homebirth use are this one, which is the larger of the two and which we got:

http://www.qualityinflatables.com/56493.html

And this one:

http://www.qualityinflatables.com/58480.html

Both are under $20 to buy, which is in stark contrast to some other (water)birth supply sites where I've seen them sell for $36 up to $70+, for the exact same pools.

We figured that an inflatable pool was handier than renting a tub for a couple hundred dollars, and if they sell those on waterbirth supply sites, then why not, right? Plus we can use it later when the kids are older.

Marieke
 

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One of my best friends had a pitocin induced birth with her first (baby was barely moving, so she was induced just before 40 weeks) and had her second was born naturally. First birth was the labour from hell that lasted 2.5 days and took her a second away from a c-section. Second birth, despite the fact that she was 10 days overdue and the baby was big, was easy as pie - lasted all of 4 hours, with just 20 minutes of that in hospital.

She said the difference was night and day.

I had pitocin for the last half hour of my labour with ds, because my contractions were falling away. I can honestly say that by that time it made no difference to my pain levels (I was never in a great deal of pain anyway), and it probably saved me from a c-section (had been pushing for 2.5 hours by then). So pitocin, when used in the right circumstances, is not all bad. But being induced with pit from the start is a whole different story.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pom
I am very resistant to change. I'm nervous. I want my "blankets," YKWIM? I mean, I'm not even in the same STATE this time.
Oh, I definitely understand that. You know what already works, so you want to stick with it. I'm sure I'd be the same way too. There's always more stress in the unknown aspects, so wanting to minimise that seems like the natural option to me.

Quote:
Now, of course, I'm gonna now go tell YOU that all will be well! I'm surprised this is your first. I've seen a bunch of your posts and you always sound so informative and in the know! Must be a good reader, note taker!
Thank you!


I figure knowledge is power, especially in a situation where everything is a big unknown. Billions of women might have gone before me, but there's still no comparison to the real thing after all.

It has also helped that I knew from well before I got pregnant what I did and didn't want, in large strokes at least, and when filling in those strokes with reading and research I was able to really narrow down my exact preferences and choices, and add new ones, like waterbirth, which I'd never heard of until I got pregnant... and hearing about the pain relief benefits of water sold me on that, especially with my plan to go unmedicated.

Throw in an extensive birthing class at a more natural oriented birth ed. center with a doula as a teacher, who helped cover a lot of the "what to do instead of meds" ground next to the more standard options, and a lot of online discussion venues as well.

I don't really like to be unprepared, it makes me nervous. Plus I find it folly that one would not really research what exactly is happening with ones body during pregnancy, labour and birth. Knowing what's happening, and why, is something I feel is necessary for being able to cope better. Otherwise you'd just think you were in pain for no good reason and/or scared.

Marieke
 

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Pom, I understand your concerns & worries - and this is my 3rd birth in 6 years! First of all, your body has done this once before, like riding a bike, it's not likely to forget how. You ARE prepared, you know that birth isn't pain free, you know that you need touch, and you know to follow the cues that your body puts out. All of those things will help you deal with pushy nurses and strange hospital *policies*. Your dh is supportive!!!

Try starting up a new notebook. Stay at home as long as possible in an inflatable tub. Work on some relaxation triggers now - like dh touches you in X spot, and you mentally respond with some technique.

You will not *FAIL* by having an intervention - planned or unplanned. You are bringing a new baby into the world! YOU have grown this baby for 9 months! ((((HUG))))
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
You guys are so great. ((((hug))) Thanks for all the advice and support.

I'm feeling a bit better today. We took off to see cousins in San Diego, who have 2 girls, the exact same age difference as ours will be. It was just comforting to see them all play, and imagine this babe out in the world as part of our family.

I think it also helped to just get out of my nesting head for a few hours.
 

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Pom, glad you're feeling better. Sometimes it helps to just get your fears out in the open and think about them. I think you're going to do great!


Shana
EDD 7/29/05
 

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This is not based on facts but I was talking to a good friend of mine who had both of her kids naturally and she said the second birth was far easier than the first. She also said that of all the women she knows this has been the case.

Also, I have another good friend who had a really difficult first birth that resulted in her being transferred from the birth center to the hospital by her midwife after 24+ hours of exhausting labor/problems... and for her second baby she had an trouble-free home birth. Much easier the 2nd time, she said.

I hope this is true for you, for me, and for everyone else.
I too am nervous.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelgie
This is not based on facts but I was talking to a good friend of mine who had both of her kids naturally and she said the second birth was far easier than the first. She also said that of all the women she knows this has been the case.
I hope in particular that my labour is faster this time. Doing 42 hours again seems like an impossible task - especially since I plan to do most of my labouring at home, and I have a 3 year old there. My mother will (hopefully) be there as well, but you can only send them to the park for so long.
 

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Pom,
sorry you were feeling so bad, and glad you'e better. I agree with OP recs to start new notebook, and also think it's great you got your fears out here, sometimes just saying stuff out loud and exposing it to the light of day (and getting it out of my head) takes its power away.

glad your DH is so supportive. You *can* and *will* do this! and have a wonderful babe too!

and does your hospital have any sort of volunteer doula program? ours does, with the aim of pursuing funding so that in the near future *every* laboring woman will have access to a doula for free or at minimal charge.
 

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I also want to repeat what PP have said about getting a free or cheap doula through dona.org. Really, email them and they will send you a list of certifying doulas in your area. Remember, an uncertified doula doesn't necessarily mean an "inexperienced" doula
. I would offer my services, but it sounds like you are nearer to San Diego than I am
.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Oh, we're in LA!

Yeah, you know, I'm up and down. But like, yesterday I caught a full legnth image of me at the mall in a mirror and was like, WOW my hips are HUGE. I look like a GINOURMOUS pear (i'm normally pretty hour glass), and while kind of horrified from a vanity stance, I was also like, Hey! Those there them are BIRTHIN' hips!
I mean, all this pain and stretching must be for soemthing, right?

I just have to stop reading other people's birth stories.
 

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Hey Pom,

Where are you delivering? You're on the West side, right? Are you at Cedars or St. Johns? Maybe you're farther south. . .
 
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