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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Today, after I had asked him to turn off the hose and reminded him not to spray his sister, ds sprayed dd full force in the back. She was upset and soaked. I was mad, and tempted send him to time out (which I think does work when used appropriately, but this wasn't how I like to use it!), instead I asked him to get a towel and a change of clothes for her, and to dry her off and help get her into dry clothes. He did and was so cooperative and loving while doing so! She may be dressed in a strange combination and he needed a little help with the prefold but he did it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><a href="http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?Uc=uhd4p02.26v7uwr6&Uy=44cx9y&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&mode=fromshare&conn_speed=1" target="_blank">Solving the problem.</a>
 

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How precious! And good for you for containing yourself and helping your ds solve the problem. I don't know if I could have been as calm! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Jill
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
now if I could just do as well when he tries to wrestle her!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Awww...that is sooo cute!!!
 

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Great job!<br><br>
And such cute kids, too.<br><br>
~Nay
 

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awwww. :Love<br>
That is so dang sweet. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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wonderful! you've inspired me.<br><br>
Now help me out with this one, mamas..just this morning I totally screwed up. We were having a stressful morning anyway and then I caught DS (almost 4) climbing right on top of DD (7 months) about to totally squash her. I picked him up and carried him out of the room...big mistake I know but kneejerk recation. How do you deal with this sort of thing without yelling/physical intervention? i.e. how do you keep your cool?
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>muse</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">wonderful! you've inspired me.<br><br>
Now help me out with this one, mamas..just this morning I totally screwed up. We were having a stressful morning anyway and then I caught DS (almost 4) climbing right on top of DD (7 months) about to totally squash her. I picked him up and carried him out of the room...big mistake I know but kneejerk recation. How do you deal with this sort of thing without yelling/physical intervention? i.e. how do you keep your cool?</div>
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I have a really hard time with this too. Just this morning we had a similar incident. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> But on my better days, I remember that dd is much tougher than I realize, that ds is pushing my "mama bear" buttons, and maybe on purpose b/c he needs my attention, and I ask him to move, give him warning that if he doesn't I'll have to lift him off of dd, and then remind him, remind him, remind him that she is a baby and not strong enough to play that way (yet :LOL ) If he does it again and again, this is when I use what we call "time out", which I know doesn't work for everyone, but this is what we do: 1) he gets 4 mintues (b/c he is 4) on the couch with no toys, books, etc 2) during that time he is reminded of why he needs a cool off period and we review the house "ground rules" which are written on a piece of paper we wrote and illustrated together 3) when the timer goes off, we talk about what happened and how to make things go better.<br>
I also try to be really proactive about telling him that I appreciate it when he is cooperative/safe with his body/uses his words/etc b/c our family works better when we all cooperate/etc.<br>
HTH
 

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ah, thankyou, this all made a lot of sense to me. You're right, the baby is very resilient, and most times when I'm telling DS off she is sitting there laughing at whatever he's done. And yes, duh, of course he's doing it for my attention but either I forget that or that bugs me because I do give him so much endless attention...but it's like in the playful parenting book; since DD was born DS has a "leaky cup" constantly in need of a refill.<br><br>
The sitting on the couch with a timer sounds good. A friend of mine uses a meditation cushion which is then a special place of her son's which he sits on instead of "time out". She calls it "strong sitting", and has him use it as a time to clear his mind and start afresh. I think DS is going to be getting his own little cushion for his brithday this year <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>muse</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">ah, thankyou, this all made a lot of sense to me. You're right, the baby is very resilient, and most times when I'm telling DS off she is sitting there laughing at whatever he's done. And yes, duh, of course he's doing it for my attention but either I forget that or that bugs me because I do give him so much endless attention...but it's like in the playful parenting book; since DD was born DS has a "leaky cup" constantly in need of a refill.<br><br>
The sitting on the couch with a timer sounds good. A friend of mine uses a meditation cushion which is then a special place of her son's which he sits on instead of "time out". She calls it "strong sitting", and has him use it as a time to clear his mind and start afresh. I think DS is going to be getting his own little cushion for his brithday this year <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"></div>
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I know, I feel so resentful for that leaky cup some days. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Your friend sounds brilliant! I may have to borrow some of her ideas!
 

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Those pics are so sweet....<br>
It makes me want a sibling for my DD! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>muse</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">wonderful! you've inspired me.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"><br>
Thanks mamas! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 
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