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<p>I am a teacher from South Africa and I worked in special needs for a while but I never thought I would be challenged in my own life. My dream has always been to be a mother, so 4 years ago we were blessed with the mos beautiful little girl. She has always had funny quirks from birth but when never thought anything of it. She is a very clever child, inquisitive and reached all her milestones early but she is also a very intense child and takes things very seriously. 8 months ago i started to notice really odd behaviour. I tried all forms of discipline to try and sort out bad behaviour but nothing seemed to work, it actually mad it worse. I started to remember things from my studies and did some research. I approached her pre-school teacher and told her i thought my child was tactile defensive. She disagreed and said she had tactile defensive children in her school and she didnt show any of the signs, so we left it. In december we decided to go away for a family holiday, it turned into a nightmare. She started refusing to eat (she has always been a poor eater) but this was bad!! She didnt want to bath, wash her hair, brush her teeth. My younger child would be sitting happily playing in the bath and the other would be screaming that it was burning her??!! She only wanted to wear one shirt day and night like it was her security blanket. We have also been co-sleeping for as long as i can remember, but then the night terrors and waking up screaming got worse. Eventually i begged my husband to end the holiday early so we could just get back to our comfort zone. On the 2nd January, I was so desperate I phoned an OT and begged for an assessment. She emailed me a 9 page form which i filled out so quickly and emailed back. She phoned me within an hour and said we definietly needed a session. Low and behold, my child was not only tactile defensive but oral as well. We began the Wilbarger brushing protocol every 2 hours and a smaller teething brush for her mouth. Results were almost instant. Within days we had the most incredible child, her manners came back, she was happy to bath, wash and brush her hair, eating brilliantly and behaving like an angel. We had also started a striked family routine for both the girls, we even cut off our social life with friends. She was doing brilliantly UNTIL we decided one day to brave an outing and...... everything went wrong!!!! Complete meltdown!! Her tantrums have always been so scary to watch. She hurts herself, kicks things and alwasy tries to get away from me as if i have been abusing her when im no where near her. Its so hard to see your child in that state and im so desperate to help her and she wants nothing to do with me, its heart breaking.</p>
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<p>Is there anybody out there who can help me with these meltdowns. Im so desperate, im emotional, physically, mentally exhausted and im so desperate to help her. The brushing helps but not with the meltdowns.</p>
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<p>IM SO DESPERATE.......HELP!!!!</p>
 

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<p>Tiredmommy, I hear you! My sons are hyposensitive (sensory seekers, the opposite of yours). It's also extremely tough to deal with. I can totally hear your frustration in your post. I have told the neighbors before that if my one son is screaming and it sounds like I am murdering him, not to worry — I'm only brushing his teeth.</p>
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<p>I'm glad to hear the brushing protocol has worked for you. My OT isn't too keen on it, interestingly. It's funny because I've heard so many other mothers say it works for them. I guess every OT has their own personal experiences and ideas. Anyway, my OT has given me a lot of tips about things that do help my sons. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.</p>
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<p>I wonder if your OT could offer some more ideas about outings. Does your child get ongoing OT services, or was it just that one session? One example is that we just purchased a weighted compression vest for my youngest son. It is brand new, but I plan to try it next time we have to wait around at a doctor's office as that is one of the situations where he just gets really out of control. We use certain things at home that help calm my boys. Swinging in our indoor soft swing really helps the oldest a lot. But we can't do that on outings!</p>
 

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<p>Tiredmommy, your DD sounds just like my DD.. only our struggles are mostly at home.  She's a complete angel when out of the house (provided she has enough sleep) but a terror most of the time she is at home.</p>
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<p>I'll be watching this thread to see what others say.</p>
 
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