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<p>My dh is a musician.  He had a restaurant gig tonight that started at 7 and ended at 10.  At the latest I would have expected him home by 11.  It's now 1am.  t's been snowing steadily all evening and we don't have the snow tires on yet (earliest appointment we could get was the 15th).  Dh doesn't have a cell phone.  He isn't buddies with the musician he was hired to play with and it's incredibly unlikely that they would have ended up hanging out after the gig.  There are no interesting shows tonight that he might have stopped by to check out.  He never mentioned anyone having any kind of get-together this evening.  He also has a cold and I just don't see him wanting to stay out late.  I have absolutely no reason to suspect he would be iwth another woman or anything like that.  He also has his very big and expensive double bass with him that he'd never just leave in the car and I can't see him hauling it around in a snow storm to go into a bar or something (not that that is something I'd think he'd be doing anyway).</p>
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<p>Help!  I am freaking out thinking the worst.  Should I be calling around hospitals by this point.  Am I missing an obvious and ok reason why he wouldn't be home yet????  Someone please post I have no one to talk to and I'm so freaking out.</p>
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<p>My bet is that there is terrible traffic in the area because of the snowstorm, and things are moving really slowly.  I don't know how metro or urban of an area you live in, but in our area I can search live traffic reports, and they show areas where this an accident, or a closed road, etc.  I've done this before when worried about someone - if no accidents are reported, then I figure I can cross that off the list.</p>
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<p>I'm sorry, I hate that feeling so much.  Tell him to get a cell phone!</p>
 

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<p>He is such a jerk I'm so mad right now.  He went to a jam session that I didn't know about and didn't bother calling.</p>
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<p>1:37 I'm exhausted and going to bed. </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>pianojazzgirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285397/i-m-so-worried-about-my-dh-he-s-2-hrs-late-it-s-1am-and-snowing-heavily-outside#post_16115099"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>He is such a jerk I'm so mad right now.  He went to a jam session that I didn't know about and didn't bother calling.</p>
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<p>1:37 I'm exhausted and going to bed. </p>
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<p>I'm glad he's okay, but I'd be frustrated too! Letting loved ones worry = not cool. I'm sorry he didn't call. </p>
 

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Discussion Starter #5
<p>Thanks mama.  He apologized profusely last night, but I was still mad.  I haven't spoken with him yet this morning.  He's still sleeping in!  <span><img alt="irked.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/irked.gif"></span></p>
 

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Discussion Starter #6
<p>I am relieved though!</p>
 

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I am "grrrrrrrrrrr"-ing for you. Get that man a cheapo pay-as-you-go cell phone and let him know that we don't like it here when our MDC-mates are worried about their loved ones! <img alt="grouphug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/grouphug.gif">
 

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<p>Can I call him a jerk for you?</p>
<p>Mine did that for the first time ever the other night. I knew exactly where he was and that he was safe, he just told me he'd be back at 7 and didnt show up till 9:30pm.</p>
<p>He apologized too. I very calmly "gave it too him".... he should have called, how disrespectful, never do that again!</p>
 

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<p>My husband is a musician too...i've been in those shoes. My husband does have a cell, so I finally asked him to just txt me when he's on his way home, even if it's 3am, etc. so that I don't worry. Then, if he txts me he's on his way and obviously too much time has passed, I have a more realistic idea of whether something happened or not. </p>
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<p>Maybe you guys could get a prepaid cellphone just for those types of situations? I've seen them for as little as $10 at walmart, and a 1 minute call could absolutely save your peace of mind!</p>
 

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<p>My DH is a musician too and has often come home very late (and, um, not exactly sober) from his gigs. The thing with me, though, is that I expect him to come home later than late on gig nights, but he'll go "I'm coming home right after the show tonight, I promise I won't be late." I'll go "no, really, you should hang out and have a few beers afterwards, all your friends'll be there, just come home whenever." Then he'll go "no, I'm coming home early tonight, I'm not in the mood for staying out late and I have to shlep my drum kit home." Me: "Ok." And then he'll stay out later than late anyways. And I get pissed off at him for saying he'll come home early and then coming home late. It's like our little Abbott and Costello routine.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #12
<p>Thanks for all the responses mamas!</p>
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<p>The thing is is that I'm usually SUPER laid-back about when dh comes home.  TBH I am an introvert and really cherish those evenings all to myself when he stays out late (shhh... don't tell!).  But last night nothing added up.  The jam session that he went to wasn't listed on the club's calendar (I checked all the clubs to see if anything interesting was going on), and since he was sick, and the restaurant he was playing at closed at 10:30 it just seemed so weird that he wasn't home yet.  Also I had a bad car accident a few years ago in the winter and since then I've been pretty nervous about winter driving so the snow storm plus no winter tires made my mind go to bad places.</p>
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<p>Anyway, apparently he had a cup of strong coffee on the set break (big mistake) and then was all wired and awake when the gig was over.  He stopped at the club for the jam session to hang out with some other musicians.  The annoying thing is that the club schedule was the FIRST thing I checked when I was getting worried, since it's right near the resto he was at, but like I said, they didn't have that jam session listed for some weird reason.</p>
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<p>I think we should look into a cheap cell phone, though finances are extremely tight these days (family living on two musician's salaries... one who's mostly a SAHM).  I do think that after last night next time he will remember to take the 3 seconds to give me a peace-of-mind call next time!!!</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>pianojazzgirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285397/i-m-so-worried-about-my-dh-he-s-2-hrs-late-it-s-1am-and-snowing-heavily-outside#post_16116705"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br>
I think we should look into a cheap cell phone, though finances are extremely tight these days (family living on two musician's salaries... one who's mostly a SAHM).  I do think that after last night next time he will remember to take the 3 seconds to give me a peace-of-mind call next time!!!</div>
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Or, if he's hanging out with friends (or even acquaintances) I'm sure any of them would let him make a brief "be home late" phone call using their cell phone. </p>
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<p>So is it that he just completely forgot to call, or did he not realize you would worry or what? </p>
 
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