[boysmom2]

Ok, I know it's not the Legos' fault, they're really cool toys, I just can NOT have one more argument about them! My 8yo is obsessed with Legos, mostly with aquiring more and more of the kits (Space Police and Star Wars). He has recently gotten several from Christmas, then his birthday, then spending money he got for his birthday, then money he got for his First Communion. So, it's been a steady stream of new Lego kits for about 5 months around here. He plays with them constantly, building and rebuilding the kits and using the pieces to make his own creations (we also have the big bucket of regular Legos). I love that he chooses to play this way, but it seems that no matter how much he gets he constantly wants more. As soon as he gets a new one he is begging for another. The only ones we've paid for were gifts for his birthday and Christmas. The argument has been over how much of his own money he should be allowed to spend and how often.<br><br>
Most recently he got a couple hundred dollars for his First Communion from various relatives. He thought he should be able to immediately spend all of it on Legos. I know that our relatives did not give an 8yo $50 or $100 to blow all on toys, so I said no. DH and I decided he could spend $50 of the money. He could either just spend it, OR hang onto it and then earn up to $50 more by doing extra jobs around the house. He didn't think it was fair, but he understood what the deal was. So, last Thursday (4 days ago) he said he wanted to buy a kit for $50. I explained our deal again and made sure that he understood what he was choosing. He agreed.<br><br>
So, he just came home from school demanding to be allowed to buy a $100 Lego kit. First he tried to tell me that he didn't understand that he'd be allowed to spend $50 OR $100, and that by choosing to spend $50 he wouldn't be able to also earn $100. Then he insisted that he'd return the $50 kit. I had him call Target to confirm that they wouldn't take it back (he didn't believe me when I told him he couldn't return it once it was opened). So then he threw a full-blown temper tantrum, screaming that I'm the worst person who ever lived, etc., etc.<br><br>
Oh, I almost forgot to mention: For his birthday, his grandparents gave him money to buy the Harry Potter Wii game that comes out tomorrow. So TOMORROW he is getting yet another gift - one that he has desperately wanted. I told him that if he didn't stop the tantrum we'd put off buying the Wii game for a while. He finally went up to his room for a while and when he came back he showed me the library books he got at school and went to read and have a snack, like nothing happened.<br><br>
I think part of the problem is that he is the oldest, and for a while the only, grandchild in both mine and DH's large, generous families. He has been showered with gifts his entire life.<br><br>
Ugh. I really hate this. Any ideas?

 

[texmati]

I'd take a step back, and figure out what you are trying to teach your son, and maybe figure out how best to do that. Because, it is his money to spend (the 50 that you set aside).<br><br>
For example-- if you want to teach him to save and value his money, perhaps have a rule where all his money has to go in certain piles-- charity, saving for the long term (like a car), saving for the short term (big Lego set), and to spend (on what ever he wants).<br><br>
If you feel he is becoming too materialistic, maybe talking to him about the value of generosity or experiences.<br><br>
And if you just don't like lego's-- maybe someone else will have a solution for that! lol!

 

[Drummer's Wife]

What did the relatives give him the money for? I'm just curious if it is for him to save, or pay for something else.<br><br>
I'd probably let him buy the $100 set - so I'm the wrong person to be answering. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">

 

[To-Fu]

What about starting a moonjar system? I've heard great things about it:<br><br><a href="http://www.moonjar.com/" target="_blank">http://www.moonjar.com/</a>

 

[ssh]

Your family's policy on gift money can help resolve the issue. With my 4 year old DD, money from her great grandma goes into her savings account and no one else has given her money yet. With my older DD, now in college, she got to spend 1/3 any way she wanted and the rest was for stuff she needed unless the amount was $40 or under. If you've always just let your DS spend all of his gift money it's understandable why he expects to now.<br><br>
Lots of people get caught up in wanting more stuff, not just kids. I don't have any answer for how to help a person stop wanting so much or if it's possible. My DH always seems to want more stuff, but we don't actually buy most of what he wants.

 

[fritz]

Is it the materialism in general that's really bugging you, or just the excess of Legos? If it's the materialism in general, how about instituting a rule that for every toy (or Lego kit) brought into the house (no matter who paid for it), your DS has to choose one to donate to a local charity?<br><br>
I've also got a Lego-obsessed boy (only 5yo, though), so I understand getting tired of hearing about a never-ending list of desired Lego kits. However, what seemed to help my DS was to institute a birthday/Christmas wish list. Whichever event was closer, I made a list of whatever DS wanted. Telling him I was putting it on the list, and letting him see the list whenever he wanted did decrease his asking for stuff. And I've noticed he'll talk about new Lego kits (they release them a few times a year) a lot right after he sees the new ones on the website, but then it tapers off as he realizes he doesn't really want most of them. He just enjoys looking at the pictures online, and the hardcopy catalog they give out for free in the Lego store.