I'm supposed to be able to afford everything

Quote:
well no wonder he is annoyed. he is constantly buying his kids off and u buy nothing substantial. u also ask him to chip in for a measely bike! how could u.



on anther note : 16 years old and you guys still cant 'talk'. yeeesh hope that doesnt happen to us.

Men and money....it's so true that there's a problem there, so common that men just are obsessively possessive about "their" money (yet dismissive about other people's money or their obligation to others). Trying to think of a cave man analogy, but no luck

Sorry to hear he's giving you trouble, sunshine, and hope it all gets worked out. Maybe if you say "I have x money to contribute to a bike right now, the rest you'll have to cover or ds will" that will give him less chance to get upset or feel like you're holding back your money from a mutual expenditure. I think it's entirely reasonable to talk about how much it will cost or who will pay...but sometimes if you stick with your bottom line, there's less to negotiate over and it becomes his issue to work around, rather than challenge.

Good luck!

Quote:
: I agree with this, it sounds reasonable to me!

If he wants more and won't budge I'd give the money to your DS for his bank account (if you can trust him like that.) Then it's your DS's choice. When I was 16 I wanted a car, not a bike, so your lucky there!

littlecandy, you should be able to go to the child support prosecutor's office in your local courthouse and they will file everything for you after an interview. You don't have to prove anything to them except that maybe you're not living with him and they are his kids, which is made even simpler if you're getting some sort of gov't assistance b/c they ask you to prove that to them before helping you.

The prosecutor will then set up any court hearings about the child support on your behalf and you can even get his wages garnished and his tax returns through this office if they file in time.

More on-topic: I understand about the money. My ex wants me to send the kids with everything on the weekends, even tho he made a big deal in mediation about he wasn't "babysitting" he was "parenting". I love it when they use *your* thoughts against you. But, what's happening since then? He's trying to babysit. He doesn't even like feeding them when they're there. I stopped sending clothes with the kids. I told him he can buy himself expensive clothes and wool coats, he can buy his kids clothes to wear when they're at his house. They come back filthy on Sundays, b/c they just wear the same clothes all weekend.

I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to say "I am willing to spend X amount on money on a bike" and leave it at that. If your ex cannot find a bike in that budget then he can either pay the difference or see if DS is willing to pay the difference. Having your son pay for part of his bike is NOT a bad thing. It is a good think IMO. It will teach him responsibility and about the value of money. He'll be more likely to take good care of it if he helped to pay for it.

My ex thought that our son just had to have an ATV (my DS just turned 3 ) I didn't agree so I let ex kow that if it was so important to HIM for DS to have an ATV then he would need to pay for it. He did. You get to choose what you do with your own money and if you'd rather not spend a large amount on a bike then don't. If it is so important to ex that your son havea bike then let ex buy it.

Ex's suck when it comes to money. My ex is a borderline millionaire and still complains about money and tries to get me to pay for half of things. I tell him I'll pay half when the child support checks start rolling in.