Good for you! You're a bigger person than I. I would have reveled in the fact that she was sitting in the truck bored out of her mind. Of course, I probably wouldn't have let ex come over either...but that's just me!
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I'm turning over a new leaf...
Today ex called and asked if he could come over to see DS for a few minutes, we weren't doing much (it's raining out) so I said OK. I saw him pull up with GF in his truck, but he came in without her. Things have been rocky between ex and I a lot lately - a LOT of arguing with him flipping out and calling me names, but still I choose to be the better person (mainly because I realize I have to deal with him for the next 15 years). So he came in without GF and I asked if she was in the truck, he said yes. I said "your just gonna have her sit in the truck alone? Invite her in" He said "She'd feel too uncomfortable around you." So, I took a deep breath and said "Tell her she does not have to feel uncomfortable around me and tell her she's welcome to come in". She came in. I offered them both a drink and we all watched DS entertain us with his vivid imagination. It was REALLY uncomfortable at first, then I saw how happy DS was - after all, he was surrounded by the people who love him most in this world.
It wasn't so bad and I'd like to think I'm turning over a new leaf. Part of me did it for selfish reasons (so I could see how she interacts with him and so I can be allowed to visit him during ex's time) and part of me did it to show her there does not have to be hate and tension between us. I hope some day in the distant future we can all be friendly and all get together and take DS on outings. It would be a lot easier for me to be away from DS if I was able to visit with him here and there during his dad's visitation time.
A girl can dream....
It wasn't so bad and I'd like to think I'm turning over a new leaf. Part of me did it for selfish reasons (so I could see how she interacts with him and so I can be allowed to visit him during ex's time) and part of me did it to show her there does not have to be hate and tension between us. I hope some day in the distant future we can all be friendly and all get together and take DS on outings. It would be a lot easier for me to be away from DS if I was able to visit with him here and there during his dad's visitation time.
A girl can dream....
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Wow Jilian! What a strong woman you are. I know that must have been a toughie, but I think you proved that you are made of good stuff... I hope your X and his GF appreciate the step you took, but if not, at least you are setting a wonderful example for your ds. You're an inspiration to me, for sure!!
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jilian best of luck on your dream. you have taken the biggest step forward. instead of waiting for them to change something you have no control over you took the big step.
i am at a place where i wish my ex would get a gf so he would be a little less tormented. or something so that it takes the pressure off of us.
that is the place i want to be with ex in the future. so far since dd was 18 months old the only thing we have attended together was a preschool event a couple of months ago - even if for a few moments. seeing how excited dd was - both my mommy AND daddy are here - i hope something happens so we can do something together.
so i share your dream too....
Originally Posted by Jilian I hope some day in the distant future we can all be friendly and all get together and take DS on outings. It would be a lot easier for me to be away from DS if I was able to visit with him here and there during his dad's visitation time. A girl can dream.... |
i am at a place where i wish my ex would get a gf so he would be a little less tormented. or something so that it takes the pressure off of us.
that is the place i want to be with ex in the future. so far since dd was 18 months old the only thing we have attended together was a preschool event a couple of months ago - even if for a few moments. seeing how excited dd was - both my mommy AND daddy are here - i hope something happens so we can do something together.
so i share your dream too....
Not that anyone wants it to get *this* good but I did an art show that my SIL invited both of her dh's sets of parents and when the ex-wife and her dh walk in the new wife and husband shouts *across the crowded room* "Hey there Ex-Wife! How are you?!!!" She replies, "Hey there NEW wife! How are you?!!" And they grin and hug each other and catch up on news (loudly) with each other while the rest of the room gasps for breath. I think the divorce and remarriage happened 15+ years ago, but I've never seen two women in that situation be sooo friendly. Anyways - anecdotal story - hoping to make you laugh a little.
Seriously I admire your handling it so well - that had to be hard but it sounds like you're doing it gracefully.
Seriously I admire your handling it so well - that had to be hard but it sounds like you're doing it gracefully.
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This just doesn't make you a strong woman...this makes you a WONDERFUL mom!
Good for you, Jillian!
Originally Posted by Jilian It was REALLY uncomfortable at first, then I saw how happy DS was - after all, he was surrounded by the people who love him most in this world. |
Good for you, Jillian!
Good for you Jilian.
Hang on to that hope.
I treated my ex and his last girlfriend really well. I welcomed them to my home (even though the refused) I was pleasant and kind etc. I did it for the kids, for myself and for our disjointed family.
Well, it did make a difference because now my ex has a new girlfriend and I've shown her the same kindness and my ex realizes that I was not ever really the 'enemy' and that I have been kind and decent to him. Now, he is decent to me and it makes a world of difference.
Hey....a few weeks ago, I went to pick up the kids, he had some family/friends over and they were ordering pizza. He offered for me to come in (since I knew everyone) and we stayed there for about 3 hours or more and had a great time.
And for those of you who have been here long enough to remember all the crap we went through....the pizza night was nothing short of a miracle!!!!
Hang on to that hope.
I treated my ex and his last girlfriend really well. I welcomed them to my home (even though the refused) I was pleasant and kind etc. I did it for the kids, for myself and for our disjointed family.
Well, it did make a difference because now my ex has a new girlfriend and I've shown her the same kindness and my ex realizes that I was not ever really the 'enemy' and that I have been kind and decent to him. Now, he is decent to me and it makes a world of difference.
Hey....a few weeks ago, I went to pick up the kids, he had some family/friends over and they were ordering pizza. He offered for me to come in (since I knew everyone) and we stayed there for about 3 hours or more and had a great time.
And for those of you who have been here long enough to remember all the crap we went through....the pizza night was nothing short of a miracle!!!!
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