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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm just wondering how others would handle this. My dd is 3 and has been asking for a baby brother for months now. Truthfully, dh and I have been ttc for over a year, and I think its going to be a while yet. Anyway, she has talked so much about her little brother that its almost like she already has an imaginary baby brother. She suggests she needs things for her baby brother, like "we need 2 suckers so my baby brother can have one". And earlier she asked if I had picked out a name for her new "sibling". I told her a boy and girl name I like, and mentioned that it was going to be a very long time before we had a new baby at our house. If its a boy she wants to just call him "Brother" like the Berenstain Bears.


This is all being fuled by the fact that she now has a new baby cousin (born last week) and all her close friends are getting new siblings. I don't want to discourage her from wanting a sibling, since its something I want too, so I just don't know what to do. Dh and I don't talk a lot about wanting another baby, but I have given baby gifts to 6 close friends in the past year, so dd is exposed to a lot of baby stuff.

Ideas?

TIA,
Laura
 

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My ds has several imaginary siblings and friends! It started around 3 yo when many of his friends started getting siblings and we also moved that summer and he did not have many playmates. I have been told that it is totally normal and a sign of creativity. The only time I point out that they are not real is when he tries to blame them for something he did!
 

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My DS talks about his "baby brother" a lot. Like he'll pick things out at the store and tells me his baby brother needs it. I think it's more wishful thinking than an imaginary friend though, as he doesn't really come up with scenarios and whatnot.

He does however have an imaginary mom and he comes up with elaborate stories about her. Where she lives, what she looks like, what she's doing that day, what her and her kids are having for dinner, etc. To be honest, she gets on my nerves at times, like when she "tells" DS he can't eat at the table, he needs to eat in the living room and watch TV.


I love watching DS's creative side unfold.
 

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: just wanted to add that in elementary school, I decided I was one of triplets (the oldest of course) and would pretend to be the other ones on different days. It was fun. I am the youngest child and always wanted a little brother/sister. I played with stuffed animals, pretending they were my little brothers/sisters that I had to take care of. Well...15 years later, my wish came true and I gave birth to a little boy!
 

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My dd too has an active imagination; she used to tell us all about things she did at her "apple school" with her teacher Alice (all pretend). I handle it sort of like when you notice a grammar mistake. i.e. they say I runned and you say Oh you ran ! So with the stories we accepted them and commented on them while also sharing comments to balance pretend and reality such as t"hat art project sounds like lots of fun. I have so much fun when we do art, would you like to do a project with me?" Her dreams were a place for her to be creative and describe desires or problems in a non-threatening way and I am glad she can dream that way.
 

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I asked for a little brother or sister for Christmas when I was two (took them 3 years*
). But my imaginary siblings were all older than me and already living in their own apartments.

*And I got to name him, I named him before he was born "I'm going to have a little brother and his name is Adam" They tried to tell me that the baby might be a girl, but I *knew* better.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Its good to hear that this is a common problem and I probably don't need to do anything special. The other day though dd asked "When will my new sibling be here Mommy?" And I did manage to keep my cool and explain to her "Babies come when they are ready, and we just have to hope our baby will be ready to come live with us soon" I hope that makes sense to her, because it was the best I had.
 

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That's so funny, I thought my dd was the only one!! We have regular particpation in our family by "brother" and "sister." My favorite part of them is that (according to dd), they are so tiny that we can't see them.
 

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my ex and i separated when our dd was 18 months old. at 2 she started asking for siblings. when i told her dont know she went to her dad and asked for a baby brother. she kept on with it and finally at 2 1/2 she invented twin siblings sisster named jason and brother named kahlua. one for each of us. she takes care of the brother and i take care of the sister. along with them came another baby who is a newborn baby. the twins are younger than her but not babies. the baby joins us outside but the twins stay home. this has not gone away. now while playing with my tummy she will ask me when am i going to take the twins out.

apparently she so badly wants siblings that when i went to her preschool/daycare potluck last week, i had parents coming to me congratulating me. apparently my dd had told them all about the boy girl twins i was expecting and how dd was looking forward to taking care of the brother.
 
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