My xdh and I have been married 10 years, together for 12. Our divorce will be finalized in a couple of weeks. I left him early last year because after a second try, when we broke up and got back together, he was continuing to be mean to me and my children. We have a history of him grabbing me and not letting me walk away until he had his say, which left bruises on me. Since the seperation, he has threatened to not let me see my children (which he since claims that it is because seeing me hurt too much), and ruined my son's birthday by smashing his cake into the stove while calling me a whore.
I have been dating a really nice man who I love and treats me well. We now live together. The problem is that the last couple weeks, xdh has been very nice and apologetic, and asking if we could work it out. He said I could even stay in the spare bedroom while we get to know each other again. He picked me up and took me to the ER the other week and stayed all night (BF was out of town), and he says he wants me back more than anything. The nice behavior makes it hard for me because I remember how things were when it was good.
Now I am scared and I don't know what to do... I am laid off, but wanting to finally start a portraiture business, and BF has been on unemployment for a year now, and doesn't seem all that interested in looking for a job. Although this is a very small town and there are more people looking for jobs than there are jobs. We are quickly running out of money and I am scared for my kids. I didn't want them to grow up poor like I did. I want them to be happy.
Xdh is working and by himself makes enough for his bills. I *could* stay with him and try my business without the stress, and any money I make could go towards the kids instead of bills, but I no longer think of him as someone I am compatable with. I cannot ever imagine sleeping with him again (he slept the last 7 years on the couch anyways) and I really love my bf. I never thought I would meet someone that I have so much in common with, and we don't even have to try. We just seem to click.
But I am having all these mixed feelings and I dont know what to do... if I move out it would DEVESTATE my boyfriend, and wouldn't be fair to him at all, plus it would hurt like hell and I would probably regret it forever. But maybe it would be best for my children if we move in with their father and just try to stay friendly. Xdh wants more, but I cannot give him that. I just want to be friendly and not fight. I have been so mean to my BF the last couple of days because I am stressing so much, this really hurts, and I am scared to death of making the wrong decision. I just want whats right for my kids, I dont want them to suffer because of my decisions.
I have been dating a really nice man who I love and treats me well. We now live together. The problem is that the last couple weeks, xdh has been very nice and apologetic, and asking if we could work it out. He said I could even stay in the spare bedroom while we get to know each other again. He picked me up and took me to the ER the other week and stayed all night (BF was out of town), and he says he wants me back more than anything. The nice behavior makes it hard for me because I remember how things were when it was good.
Now I am scared and I don't know what to do... I am laid off, but wanting to finally start a portraiture business, and BF has been on unemployment for a year now, and doesn't seem all that interested in looking for a job. Although this is a very small town and there are more people looking for jobs than there are jobs. We are quickly running out of money and I am scared for my kids. I didn't want them to grow up poor like I did. I want them to be happy.
Xdh is working and by himself makes enough for his bills. I *could* stay with him and try my business without the stress, and any money I make could go towards the kids instead of bills, but I no longer think of him as someone I am compatable with. I cannot ever imagine sleeping with him again (he slept the last 7 years on the couch anyways) and I really love my bf. I never thought I would meet someone that I have so much in common with, and we don't even have to try. We just seem to click.
But I am having all these mixed feelings and I dont know what to do... if I move out it would DEVESTATE my boyfriend, and wouldn't be fair to him at all, plus it would hurt like hell and I would probably regret it forever. But maybe it would be best for my children if we move in with their father and just try to stay friendly. Xdh wants more, but I cannot give him that. I just want to be friendly and not fight. I have been so mean to my BF the last couple of days because I am stressing so much, this really hurts, and I am scared to death of making the wrong decision. I just want whats right for my kids, I dont want them to suffer because of my decisions.
