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I'd run like the wind and not look back. While it's *theoretically possible* a HCP could be rigid and controlling during prenatals and then become a hands off observer seeing only to support the mother's desires at the birth, I certainly wouldn't bet my birth on it.<br><br>
If I were you I'd post in the <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=88" target="_blank">MN/WI FYT</a> and, depending on where in WI you live also the <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=80" target="_blank">MI FYT</a> or the <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=86" target="_blank">IL/IA FYT</a> in hopes of finding a MW who's a better fit.<br><br>
~BV
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bryonyvaughn</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9089797"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'd run like the wind and not look back.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I learned from my last birth to always trust your instincts about a midwife. I met with a midwife who was nice, but.....I just didn't feel right with her. She didn't really say anything <i>wrong</i>, but she wanted alot more tests than I wanted, and....she just didn't feel right for me. But, she was covered by our insurance, she was alot closer than the other midwife I was considering, blah blah blah. So I beat my intuition down and went with her. My birth wasn't awful, but it was much more managed than I wanted, and because of her over-management of my pushing, I ended up with permanent prolapse issues.<br><br>
Go with your gut, mama. The wrong attendant (even a homebirth midwife) can leave you with permanent scars, physical and emotional. Trust your instincts! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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Just a thought --<br><br>
I had two midwives, one primary, one backup, who I both hired because they were the "hands off" types. (I had a backup due to a scheduling snafu that had my primary midwife on vacation during weeks 38-39.) Halfway through my pregnancy, they both started acting a little weird, especially the backup who was pushing tests and fretting small stuff. I was able to refuse tests without a problem, but it did stress me out. For example, the offhanded comments about how I had to be measuring within 2 inches or the whole homebirth wouldn't fly, which backup midwife later claimed she didn't make. I could also tell something was going on I didn't know about.<br><br>
So finally in the later weeks, I told primary midwife that backup midwife was freaking me out, and primary midwife confessed to me that they were both under investigation by the midwifery board for really stupid things. The board was on a witch hunt for the types of midwives who didn't play exactly by the rules, and both of mine were like that.<br><br>
Once I was aware of what was going on, I felt a lot of compassion for both of them and realized that none of it was about me. On one hand, it did affect my experience to a degree, but if I was going to have midwives, these were best two for me in this city, and I was glad to have them even with the weirdness.<br><br>
So I guess my point is, if you feel like she's the best midwife you can get, maybe there's something going on behind the scenes that's changing the way she practices? Maybe it's worth looking into?
 

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I'd work on getting the husband comfy with UC. You have plenty of time to convince him <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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