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The post about cigarette smoking relatives reminded me that I had this issue.<br><br>
My MIL and FIL's house stinks of dog urine. :puke<br><br>
They live on 50 acres and have 5 or so dogs and a bunch of cats. Their house is a very open floorplan...only the bedroom and bathroom are seperate walled in rooms. Their house always reeks of urine and their couches and chairs are covered in dog hair. The floors are nasty. As I write this I realize just how nasty it is. I have 3 dogs and three cats and a much smaller house. I get that things can start to smell "doggy" if I don't clean often enough. But the urine smell is awful. My LO is 4 months and I know that he will be crawling and walking soonish. I anticipate a problem because I do not want him on their floors. Now, I bring him over and after we leave he gets a bath and his clothes get washed.<br><br>
The weird thing is, my in-laws are otherwise very classy people. I think they must not smell it. My sister suggested getting a playpen and bringing it over, but that will only work for a few months.<br><br>
We don't have a bad relationship with them, but we don't have a great one either. Typical MIL threatened by DIL stuff. Being over there is gross to me and I avoid going. What would you do? Is this any issue that needs to be addressed, or should I just ignore it?
 

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nak<br><br>
how about avoid the issue. Set up regular visit at your house, eg: every sunday we all have lunch together.<br><br>
Or take 'not childproof" tack. "MIL, it's too much bother for you to put locks on cabinets and gates, etc, etc, why not just come here where we can all relax".
 

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My in-laws are the MOST DISGUSTING PEOPLE ON EARTH!! They are nice, but are oblivious about cleanliness. (Thank God they live out of state - 2 hrs!!) I am dreading the bringing baby over discussion. Their house is so dirty I won't even bring my dogs there. They have food and garbage on their floors kitchen overrun with junk on the counters and dirty dishes. They don't vaccuum and have the world's grossest cat. They had a blood stain on the wall in their bathroom for over 2 years (yes I counted) and they just don't seem to see they have a problem.<br><br>
My saving grace is that both my DH and I are EXTREMELY allergic to their cat and can't be in the house for more than 15 mins without getting sick. I am going to use that as an excuse to meet them in a neutral location. (I am not thrilled with the prospect of them coming to my house either b/c they are just as messy away from home.)<br><br>
THe not childproofed argument could backfire as they could go crazy and childproof everything then what would you do?<br><br>
Aside from getting them a maid certificate for a special occassion, I would just make excuses to meet somewhere neutral or lean on hubby to broach the subject with them, after all they are his family.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/goodvibes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Goodvibes">: I know what an awkward situation this is.
 

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Moving to TAO.
 

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This is where your dh comes in handy. They are his parents and yes he should talk to them about this. I think they deserve to be told that their home needs some cleaning and that you do not want your child climbing all over hairy, dirty furniture and floors. Maybe they need some help? At any rate, stay out of it and let dh handle his parents.
 

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i didn't set my kids down at my ils until they were toddlers for pretty much the same reasons you state. most of the time they came to us
 

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What does your husband say about it? They're his parents...<br><br>
Does he think it's gross, or is he used to it? Will he back you up if you refuse to go there anymore? Is he close enough to them to be able to talk to them about it? I can't really see why this is your problem alone to deal with...
 

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I wouldn't bring it up.<br><br>
I have a similar problem. There are ways you can get around it:<br><br>
- bring blankets for your baby to lie on<br>
- when baby starts crawling, buy a playmat (the kind with the streets and stuff on it -- good traction) or two and roll them up and bring them with you<br>
- wipe baby's hands when he touches gross things -- your in laws will probably figure it has to do with you being a paranoid mum, nothing to do with them<br><br>
All in all, I figure it will only be a year, maybe a year and a half, tops, that this will matter. After that, DS will be on his feet, so the gross floor won't matter so much.
 

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I don't think there is a way to say "your house is gross and smells like pee" and maintain a good mil relationship. It'd probably be easier to mention the dog hair issue than the smell.<br><br>
Invite them over to your place.<br>
Stay outside as much as possible if you do go to their home.<br>
Spill something and clean the floor. They are probably going to suspect if you do this every visit.<br><br>
Buy them a new vacuum or hard floor cleaner. Offer to shampoo their carpets for a gift. If it is carpet and a few years old maybe you and dh could offer to help them replace it with something newer/easier to clean.<br><br>
Good luck.
 

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Try having your DH deal with it first.<br><br>
Then try to avoid going.<br><br>
If they push the issue, try to tell them the truth with as little judgement as possible. Truth hurts sometimes, but this one can hurt enough without adding any extra disgust factor to it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Demeter9</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10309039"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Try having your DH deal with it first.<br><br>
Then try to avoid going.<br><br>
If they push the issue, try to tell them the truth with as little judgement as possible. Truth hurts sometimes, but this one can hurt enough without adding any extra disgust factor to it.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
this.
 

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Good luck with this! I had the same issue with my IL's home apart from no pets. I tried to avoid going over, invited them here to our home or some other place and it blew up in my face the day before Christmas when MIL asked me why I didn't want my children sleeping over at her home. She then turned it into how she must have done alright as a mom as I married one of her sons.
 

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We do not go to my in-laws house. Ever. They have five indoor cats and one menace of a dog. Their house has 30 years of unattended cat pee in it. The cats get on the counters and spray the appliances, there are drip-marks down the sides of the furniture... it's disgusting! MIL simply wipes it with a dry paper towel when she notices it. I can't even stand downwind from their house. DH and his brother had no idea their house was stinky until they went away to college and came home for a weekend. They always just thought no one liked their mom, so they didn't come over. (That was only half of it.) It's even hard to have them here because that smell is now a part of who they are. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
MIL gets offended that no one will come to her house, so a few years ago DH's brother told her why as politely as possible, while offering to help. She got extremely defensive, went into denial, and still hasn't totally forgiven him.<br><br>
My advice is do not go over there. After a few months or years they might ask why. Then maybe your DH could approach the topic.
 
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