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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>i'm in the midst of my first miscarriage. i was only 5 weeks, and i've been trying to rationalize to myself that there was no heartbeat yet and it was faulty cells or something, blah blah blah, but my heart is screaming "but i loved those cells so much already!!!!".</p>
<p>my hubby and family are so supportive and great, but they wouldn't understand if i told them that it felt like a boy, and that i was already calling him Arlo in my head when i talked to him and prayed for him every night of the week and a half that i carried him. they understand that i'm sad about losing the pregnancy, but i don't think they understand how much i miss him, and the dream of all that he could have been.</p>
<p>i just needed to say that. i needed to say his name, because he was real. and even though not many people even knew he existed, he did exist and he deserved to have a name and be known.</p>
 

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<p>mamadiamond, you are absolutely right that he was your son and a person and you loved him. Don't feel wrong for feeling all of that because it is right and good. It doesn't matter that you only carried him for a little while. (((hugs)))</p>
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<p>May Arlo's memory be eternal!</p>
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<p>Arlo is an absolutely beautiful name.  :(  I was calling mine Ernie.  I am 8 weeks and miscarrying right now too.  I'm here if you need to chat.  It is so hard.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
<p>thank you so much for your replies. i'm so glad this forum exists, and that there are other mamas going through this to talk to. yesterday when it started i felt like i would die from sadness. today has been better, thank god. i snuggled dd a lot, and hubby made me breakfast before he went to sleep. he is working nights right now, which means we only see eachother in passing and are having to grieve on separate sleep schedules.</p>
<p>redhen - i'm so sorry. i can only imagine it being much harder after more weeks.</p>
 

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<p>(((hugs))) mamadiamond. I'm sorry for your loss.</p>
 

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<p>Hugs to you mama. So  sorry for your loss.</p>
 

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<p>I doubt it's any harder.  It's just hard, period.  :(</p>
 
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