I haven't had any comments about appearance yet, but my sister did imply that I was torturing my baby by having ultrasounds. [And no, this wasn't the result of in-depth research. This was due to one comment made by a radiology tech (when she took her husband for a cardiology test), based as near I can tell on one or two unknown studies the tech read.] I tried to reply in a very reasoned way, and she seemed to appreciate that I'd at least given the matter some serious thought.
Inane, idiotic things people say
I just got off the phone with DH's grandmother. It's her birthday and she called to thank us for the card we sent. She was asking how DS was and after catching her up on that, she asked how I was feeling. I said pretty good now that I'm past 12 weeks, and she asked if I was "showing" yet. She asks this EVERY SINGLE TIME I talk to her...at least 3 times per week.
Anyway, I said yes, a tiny bit, but not that much. She asked if I'd gained any weight yet, and I said around 4 pounds last I checked. "Oh!" she said, "You didn't gain very much with DS, though, did you?" No, I said, just 9 pounds the whole pregnancy. (I'm plenty, um, well padded to start with and just don't need to gain a lot of weight). So THEN she says, "Well, you're quite heavy already, so you probably don't need to gain anything at all - you'll have a big enough baby without gaining any more!"
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I know I'm not little. But for goodness' sake, that doesn't make it okay to come right out and say it, does it? This is the same woman who told me when I was pregnant with DS and remarked on me not showing at ALL at 7 months that I may not think I was showing, but I was obviously "carrying all in the butt."
So make me feel better...I know I can't be the only one who hears idiotic comments from people who don't know how to keep their mouths shut! What are some stupid things people have said to you?
Anyway, I said yes, a tiny bit, but not that much. She asked if I'd gained any weight yet, and I said around 4 pounds last I checked. "Oh!" she said, "You didn't gain very much with DS, though, did you?" No, I said, just 9 pounds the whole pregnancy. (I'm plenty, um, well padded to start with and just don't need to gain a lot of weight). So THEN she says, "Well, you're quite heavy already, so you probably don't need to gain anything at all - you'll have a big enough baby without gaining any more!"
I know I'm not little. But for goodness' sake, that doesn't make it okay to come right out and say it, does it? This is the same woman who told me when I was pregnant with DS and remarked on me not showing at ALL at 7 months that I may not think I was showing, but I was obviously "carrying all in the butt."
So make me feel better...I know I can't be the only one who hears idiotic comments from people who don't know how to keep their mouths shut! What are some stupid things people have said to you?
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Y'know, I've come to realize that the older generations were much more blunt than we are. I mean, I think in decades past, people really just spoke their mind without giving nearly as much thought to how other people might react to the words. We were raised in the politically correct generation. That's so, so different than how people used to think & act, generally speaking, I think. We're SO conscious of language, and how it affects everyone now, y'know? At least that's what I see around me. I just don't think humans were like that generations ago. So, although her comment was totally rude, I'd be much more surprised if it was a young person saying that than an old woman. Y'know?
I live in a sheltered little box & don't talk to stupid people very often so I haven't heard any idiotic things lately.
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As long as the person is trying to be polite, or make conversation, I try not to overanalyze it & be offended. But there have been very rude people in the past, total strangers, that bluntly told me I had too many kids & I "needed to stop!" which was horrendously rude & aggravating. But mostly, I keep to my nice little homeschool groups & IRL friends & hide from the world.
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Although, there have been about 3 people I know through our homeschool group that gave me a totally blank stare when I told them I was pregnant with #5 (while my 15 mo old was on my hip).
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I think they were so stunned as to why someone would be happily announcing they are pregnant with #5 ~gasp~ that they had no idea how to respond. I wasn't offended though, I thought it was pretty funny.
I REALLY shouldn't be composing novels on MDC! I have soooo much to do!!
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I live in a sheltered little box & don't talk to stupid people very often so I haven't heard any idiotic things lately.
I REALLY shouldn't be composing novels on MDC! I have soooo much to do!!
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Oh I can't help it, I have to share one very silly thing my MIL said about our last birth!
We had an unassisted homebirth, my husband caught the baby. It was wonderful. When I was describing it to my MIL on the phone, she asked, in a totally shocked voice, "but how did you know when to push???"
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She thought I needed a Dr. to TELL me when to push! haha. My MIL is great, but can be confused about silly things. lol
Ok, I'm really doing productive things now!!
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We had an unassisted homebirth, my husband caught the baby. It was wonderful. When I was describing it to my MIL on the phone, she asked, in a totally shocked voice, "but how did you know when to push???"
Ok, I'm really doing productive things now!!
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How do you know when to push? That's pretty funny. I like that one!
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I think I'm much more easily offended this pregnancy than I was with my first, so these things are getting to me more. But DH's grandmother has ALWAYS driven me insane, I love her very much, but she has no inner monologue that tells her when to shut up, ha.
It might have something to do with her generation, I'll give you that, although I've got tons more that younger friends/relatives/complete strangers have told me. But since I just talked to DH's grandma, that one was fresh in my mind and bugging me.
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I think I'm much more easily offended this pregnancy than I was with my first, so these things are getting to me more. But DH's grandmother has ALWAYS driven me insane, I love her very much, but she has no inner monologue that tells her when to shut up, ha.
It might have something to do with her generation, I'll give you that, although I've got tons more that younger friends/relatives/complete strangers have told me. But since I just talked to DH's grandma, that one was fresh in my mind and bugging me.
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I know what you mean. After my UC DP's mom insisted on telling everyone it was an accident, even after we tried to set her straight! And she tried to talk me into getting Caden circ'd by telling me that everyone she knew had gotten or was planning to get their little boys circ'd ... blah.
Originally Posted by zjande Oh I can't help it, I have to share one very silly thing my MIL said about our last birth! We had an unassisted homebirth, my husband caught the baby. It was wonderful. When I was describing it to my MIL on the phone, she asked, in a totally shocked voice, "but how did you know when to push???"
Ok, I'm really doing productive things now!!
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I hear you! We tried for 5 years with DS. We gave up probably 3 years into it and pursued adoption because we didn't want to put the money towards IVF that might fail, instead we chose to put it toward adoption where there was a baby at the end of the tunnel. We really didn't care how we became parents. Well, after being on a waiting list for 2 years, I got pregnant with DS.
It's 3 years later and I'm STILL sick of hearing the "Well of COURSE you got pregnant, you finally quit trying! That's when it ALWAYS happens!" speech. As if I never heard it while we were trying.
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I usually say something like "Actually, we quit 'trying' years before I got pregnant. The getting pregnant when you adopt thing isn't actually true."
Originally Posted by Masel I'm tired of the "OMG I knew you'd get pregnant after you adopted" conversation. |
It's 3 years later and I'm STILL sick of hearing the "Well of COURSE you got pregnant, you finally quit trying! That's when it ALWAYS happens!" speech. As if I never heard it while we were trying.
Well I went shopping with my mom yesterday, she offered to buy me sports bras because I am having issues with regular bras(they are killing my boobies). So when I said I was going to get a 38. She was like "Well that's what I wear." Like I am a giant hippo or something
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:. I said "mom I normally wear a 36DD, it's my boobs that are big, not my rib cage." Annoying.
FWIW-she and my grandmother always buy my clothes in an XL-I have told her a thousand time I wear a L, NOT an XL. I swim in an XL, and they always buy me clothes that I just take to the local senior center rummage room because the are too figgin big. Funniest thing is, she hasa butt that is literally 2x's the size of mine, yet thinks I am giant. WTF?!
Yeah I am about 10lbs heavier than I was with DD, I am making a conscious effort to not gain as much weight. I am dreading Easter because I will be seeing my dreaded grandmother who is the meanest, rudest person I know. I can't stand the woman, I am sure I will hear "OH YOU ARE HUGE!!!!" from her. I have to say I don't buy the older ppl saying what ever is on their mind. My GMIL, is the nicest sweetest lady and tells me I look pretty pregnant. I cannot even remember when my grandmother EVER told me I look pretty. Ok vent over.....ugh.....
FWIW-she and my grandmother always buy my clothes in an XL-I have told her a thousand time I wear a L, NOT an XL. I swim in an XL, and they always buy me clothes that I just take to the local senior center rummage room because the are too figgin big. Funniest thing is, she hasa butt that is literally 2x's the size of mine, yet thinks I am giant. WTF?!
Yeah I am about 10lbs heavier than I was with DD, I am making a conscious effort to not gain as much weight. I am dreading Easter because I will be seeing my dreaded grandmother who is the meanest, rudest person I know. I can't stand the woman, I am sure I will hear "OH YOU ARE HUGE!!!!" from her. I have to say I don't buy the older ppl saying what ever is on their mind. My GMIL, is the nicest sweetest lady and tells me I look pretty pregnant. I cannot even remember when my grandmother EVER told me I look pretty. Ok vent over.....ugh.....
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LOL Norasmomma, my immediate reaction to this would be to say right back to her, "SO ARE YOU! ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?" and just walk away.
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Originally Posted by Norasmomma I am dreading Easter because I will be seeing my dreaded grandmother who is the meanest, rudest person I know. I can't stand the woman, I am sure I will hear "OH YOU ARE HUGE!!!!" from her. I have to say I don't buy the older ppl saying what ever is on their mind. My GMIL, is the nicest sweetest lady and tells me I look pretty pregnant. I cannot even remember when my grandmother EVER told me I look pretty. Ok vent over.....ugh..... |
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It would work if she wasn't only 100 lbs(if that) she seriously weighed like 103 lbs after my mom was born. She was a model when she was young and has always said the meanest sh** to the whole family. My mom recently had to tell her no one in the family wanted her around because we all think she is so mean(and she is). She just sucks
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Originally Posted by AuntieLiz LOL Norasmomma, my immediate reaction to this would be to say right back to her, "SO ARE YOU! ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?" and just walk away.
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If I wasn't pg, I'd go pop her one for you. HOW revolting!!!! I'm sorry she said that here's a hug for you...
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Originally Posted by MinneMom When I was on the phone with my MIL a couple weeks ago, she said "so, is that baby still alive?" which I thought was the most horrible thing to say, especially since we m/c our first pg. I was just stunned. I showed really early with DS and am very visibly pg with this one already. Last week, a co-worker literally yelled down the length of 5 cubicle rows "We're gonna have to roll you down the hall soon!" Sheesh, people. |
Mine's not half as good as most of yours, but it really bugged me...
During my first pg, a woman at work would look at my belly every now and then with a worried/doubtful look and say, "Are you sure you're that far along? You're so small!" I was already having problems with anxiety, and hearing her say this made me worry more every time she brought it up.
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Everything was just fine by the way...
During my first pg, a woman at work would look at my belly every now and then with a worried/doubtful look and say, "Are you sure you're that far along? You're so small!" I was already having problems with anxiety, and hearing her say this made me worry more every time she brought it up.
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