[petitchou]

Dh will be starting a new job at the beginning of May and living about 2 hours from my birthing center. I'm staying with my parents, about 1 hour from birthing center, until after baby is born and we are able to find a place together closer to his job. I'm due June 5 with #2 and I would really really like dh to be there for the birth but I don't know how flexible his job will be with time off as he'll just be starting.

It occured to me that if I had an induction, things would be a lot easier. We could schedule for a Saturday when I know dh will have at least the weekend to be with us. I would never have considered an induction otherwise but now I'm not sure...

WWYD?

 

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Your DH will still have sick leave, no matter what. I don't think they can legally keep him from the birth of his child. I personally wouldn't do the induction.

 

[Voltige]

I would not consider an induction unless you are fully prepared for a cascade of interventions leading to a possible c-section. If that happens, a weekend with your DH won't be nearly enough help following surgery.

I understand the desire though. I would VERY much like to be at my cousin's wedding on June 20th. I'm due the 24th. An induction a few weeks early might make it possible. . . . but I never really considered it.

 

[firewoman]

I have had an induction and while it wasn't the worst thing ever, I wouldn't do it again without real medical need. The last time I did it because my baby was gigantic. He was a week early and weighed 10lbs2oz. Did he tell his new employer he is expecting a new baby? I'm sure they realize that he will need to miss some work because of it.

 

[Therese's Mommy]

Not in your DDC, but saw this in new posts. I have to agree with the other posters. I have had 2 inductions (not my choice) and I wouldn't choose one in your situation. I totally understand wanting dh there, but if you go into labor there is a good chance he will make it to the birth center before you give birth anyway. Good luck!

Beth

 

[flapjack]

I've been in your shoes twice, and both times my husband's employers have done the right thing, no questions asked. I would consider scheduling an induction for the Saturday following your EDD (when you're 10-14 days overdue) now, so that if you start heading for that kind of intervention anyhow you can pick your dates more, and wait for baby to turn up before then, but that's just me.

 

[phrogger]

I don't know of many hospitals that will do an induction on a Saturday. Part of the induction is to make it easy on the Dr.

Personally, I would never induce unless there was a medical reason for it. You just have no idea when the baby will be actually ready to come out, and while I know it is important to have your DH there, I think it would be more important to make sure your baby came when he or she is ready to.

 

[sonuptosondown]

I've been induced twice and will be again with this one, but all were very easy inductions, I think because I was ready.
But it's hard to believe your dh's work would not give him time off for the birth. Almost impossible to believe, actually--has he talked to them about it?
I would think an induction wouldn't go as smoothly and would have more risks if it wasn't really what you wanted, kwim? It would suck if it ended in surgery or something else that made your recovery more difficult.

 

[Erinz]

I had to be induced last time because of pih and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Pitocin labor without pain meds is awful, but I feared the cascade of interventions as pp mentioned. I wouldn't choose to bypass my body's systems for convenience of any kind (even my own). It's a hard road to choose imo. I get your reasoning, but there has to be other, superior options.

 

[ErinsJuneBug]

After going through a medically unecessary induction which resulted in a c-section.....i would HANDS DOWN risk not having DH there.

 

[chely7425]

I was induced with DS because DH was given 10 days emergency leave from basic training to come home and be with me... that never happens and I really needed him there. I was living with my parents so I wasn't worried about help afterwards but for HIM to be able to get through training he needed to be there for the birth, if that makes sense. Our induction ended in a c/s but from everything my midwife and doula said it would have most likely ended the same way regardless of whether I was induced. You just have to weigh the risks and the benefits. Under any other circumstance I wouldn't have risked an induction for DH to be there.

 

[erin_brycesmom]

I would rather birth without my dh there than have an induction. Not worth it to me. I've already faced this before. Dh was only scheduled to be in port for a 5 day window around my due date with our last ds. Everyone tried to talk me into getting an induction during that time but I wouldn't do it. I went into labor on my own at 42 weeks and it ended up working out. At the last minute, they let dh stay back on the last sea trial. This time, dh's ship is schedule to leave on my due date, lol. I tend to go late so I seriously doubt I will have this baby before my due date but I will not be induced. They said they can fly dh off the ship when I go into labor but somehow I can't see that getting him to me before I have the baby, lol. I will hope and pray that it works out but induction is just not something I would consider without a medical indication. I'm not even a fan of "natural" induction methods and wouldn't do those either.

But that's just me. I can definitely understand why some would induce so that their dh could be there. We all have to do what we feel is the right thing for us and our family.

 

[Cuau]

I have to agree with others that induction might not be a good idea. But also I have to say that if having dh there is so important, maybe a non-induction birth might stall due to emotional factors.

I have not seen inductions scheduled for weekends, so you might want to talk to your OB about it and see if they are willing. Maybe starting friday night instead of saturday morning. You never know how long it will take. I've been to 34hrs inductions from start to end. So if you go there on saturday you may have your baby on sunday and then DH would have to leave too soon and that might be too hard for him too.

I guess what I'm saying is sit down, write down all your pros and cons and then decide. Do you think you might have trouble laboring if DH is not there?

good luck!

 

[boscopup]

I recommend having your DH talk to his new employer about the situation. Being 2 hours away is not that bad. How fast was your first labor? If you had a really fast labor (like 5 hours or less), there's a possibility he could just barely miss the birth itself, but he'd still be there for shortly after the birth even if you had like a 2-2.5 hour labor. If your last labor was more like 8+ hours, you'd probably have longer than a 2-3 hour labor with this one (no guarantees of course), and thus he'd have time to get there most likely. Get yourself a good doula and/or have a good friend or family member there to support you through labor until your DH gets there.

Most employers will be reasonable about a man being with his wife during labor. I understand he may not have sick leave built up quite yet, but his employer may be willing to work with him on that as well - comp time or letting him use a little sick leave before earning it or something.

 

[petitchou]

Thank you all for reinforcing my gut feeling! We are in a lot of upheaval right now and it's tempting to try to find stability anywhere I can.

I'm really not that stressed about going through labor with someone else (even though it's not what I would prefer). It's more the fact that dh is missing most of the last trimester of the pregnancy AND will miss a lot of those early weeks as well and I feel like I want to include him. Plus I have a few friends here who were induced and my mom thinks it would be a good idea as well and I've been hearing more about it since I've been home...

I do not have a history of quick labor either. I've delivered twice (first was over 10 years ago, long story...) and in both cases my water broke before labor actually started and it took a very long time for things to get going - 24 hours total with ds.

Dh is actually afraid to ask about time off at work before he gets there but they are VERY aware that I am pregnant (it was a big subject when they were talking about start dates and insurance coverage) and once he starts and is actually there, I'm sure the subject will come up. It seems like a nice company and they seem to be very interested in dh so I'm hoping they'll be understanding!

 

[tinyblackdot]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voltige I would not consider an induction unless you are fully prepared for a cascade of interventions leading to a possible c-section. If that happens, a weekend with your DH won't be nearly enough help following surgery. I understand the desire though. I would VERY much like to be at my cousin's wedding on June 20th. I'm due the 24th. An induction a few weeks early might make it possible. . . . but I never really considered it.

Not to mention the possible effects on BFing, antibiotics and you and your babies overall health.....

 

[boscopup]

Well that's good that you tend to have longer labors, so even if he has to drive back from 2 hours away, he should have no trouble getting there in time.

And it sounds like his company would probably be pretty reasonable about it, especially if they're liking him a lot. If they've worked with him on start date and insurance stuff for the pregnancy, then surely they'll give him time off to witness the birth of his child, and surely they'd *expect* him to inquire about that, ya know?

 

[Alohamelly]

I chose to be induced last time because my husband was home on leave and we only had a limited amount of time before he had to leave again. In reading other stories of inductions, mine must have not been typical because it was very successful. I had a birth plan and everyone let me be in control. It did not lead to more interventions or anything like that. They started me on pitocin at around 2am and I had my son at 11am the next morning.

 

[Ianthe]

OP- My husband is also starting a new job out of town in May!

I am planning a homebirth, however, and will call DH as soon as I go into labor, and hope that he makes it in time (he is over 2 hours away). I have my midwife and my doula who will be here for me.. and a couple friends in town I could probably call in case MIL is not around (we are living with her) to watch DS.

I totally understand where you are coming from.. go with your gut, and know your baby will come when it's ready!

 

[RachaelsMommy]

As much as I'd hate to give birth without my DH, I'd hate recovering from surgery while caring for a newborn even more.

Alohamelly- You are extremely, extremely lucky! Sounds like your baby was ready anyway. Inductions usually do lead to more interventions if they don't progress at a textbook rate. And a lot of hospitals don't let you have control once the induction is started. You have to lay there with monitors on, then they break your water, etc, etc. I went into my induction naively thinking, "I have a birth plan, I'm in charge" and 10 minutes later I was strapped to monitors, unable to move and bawling b/c I realized i wasn't going to get the birth I wanted.