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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
He is 8 months old and still 8 kg from his last check up at 6 months. Also still 70 cm tall. He is only in lower range for his age. Doctor wasn't concerned. He just slept now at 1 am local time. Otherwise happy and eating breast milk and many different pulverised/liquid foods including banana.
 

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While babies certainly move around on the percentiles zero growth in two months warrants at least a plan for follow up IMO.
This is an outline of expected growth for babies in the first year of life
http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/weight-gain-metric/

Is he meeting the expected milestones for his age?

Does he have any other symptoms? Diarrhoea, rashes, distended tummy etc.

If your doctor didn't give you any sort of plan then I would recommend a second opinion.


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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
More Details.

He is fine otherwise although a mark on arm probably from vaccinations never seems to fade. He tends to sleep when breastfeed though it might only until he is put (or a few minutes later) in the cot and then my wife would either switch to other breast or someone would look after him. He is reasonably active (fair amounts of grandparent childcare without feedback)- he needed near constant attention today said my wife.

Can mother anger (she used to get stuck as a broken record berating me over small things) affect physical development- he has not been doing anything majorly different for a month or more now still standing, crawling. She seems to have suddenly got the expression of anger under control over the last few days.

My son is happy throwing the ball out of the play pen for daddy to return. He has been active for a solid 2 hours now with daddy supervision & involvement. He can't do all that he should able to because mummy is overprotective and controlling- he can't open the flip up waste paper bin and scatter the papers. We don't have the energy for more a limited time of overprotective supervision. I don't think his grandparents are overprotective but they do stuff up things so my wife excludes them periodically.
The playpens allows him to crawl around, play with toys and rip paper apart- we generally use the tall net type with limited base cushioning.

I don't want to go a doctor unless we have some direction for him to follow up. My experience of doctors in Japan (and other places)- we live in Japan- is that they are good with something quite clear to solve but don't what to do when its not clear. They don't know what to do with my symptoms without giving me bad side effect medicines or palliatives so I just handle my relatively minor conditions myself. Please give us something to follow up. Thanks for your reply
 

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I would have wanted the doctor to do a thorough physical examination and to ask questions about his usual activities. I'd also have expected him/her to ask for detailed information regarding his diet and elimination habits.

Then I would have expected a plan for follow up. IMO, zero growth in two months warrants weekly weight/length checks to make sure he doesn't start losing weight. Some babies do go though a period of very slow growth, often just before a growth spurt but you still need to keep a close eye on them to make sure it's a normal variation and not a sign of some problem developing.

If, after 2-4 weeks there was still no growth then I would expect further investigations, including blood tests and a referral to a paediatrician.

I don't know what the system is in Japan. Can you self-refer to a specialist or do you need a GP referral? Can you easily see a different GP? Are there child health nurses running clinics?

If he is generally well and you have access to baby weighing scales and you really don't want to see a doctor again then you could check his weight yourself but I would not leave it more than two weeks without seeing someone again if he has gained nothing in that time. But my first suggestion is see another doctor now and get a plan in place.





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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I would have wanted the doctor to do a thorough physical examination and to ask questions about his usual activities. I'd also have expected him/her to ask for detailed information regarding his diet and elimination habits.

Then I would have expected a plan for follow up. IMO, zero growth in two months warrants weekly weight/length checks to make sure he doesn't start losing weight. Some babies do go though a period of very slow growth, often just before a growth spurt but you still need to keep a close eye on them to make sure it's a normal variation and not a sign of some problem developing.

If, after 2-4 weeks there was still no growth then I would expect further investigations, including blood tests and a referral to a paediatrician.

I don't know what the system is in Japan. Can you self-refer to a specialist or do you need a GP referral? Can you easily see a different GP? Are there child health nurses running clinics?

If he is generally well and you have access to baby weighing scales and you really don't want to see a doctor again then you could check his weight yourself but I would not leave it more than two weeks without seeing someone again if he has gained nothing in that time. But my first suggestion is see another doctor now and get a plan in place.





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We can self-refer here. Its also largely free for child medicine but while there a decent number of child doctors if you want a subspecialty then you are out of luck. The first doctor was a specialist just one that was convenient and generally there is no wait. There is another doctor who is more highly regarded but he is a bit further away and often you are stuck waiting- the trouble with my son is you can't set an appointment time and we could easily be waiting an hour and the doctor doesn't keep to appointment time away. My wife will need a serious condition possibility to go through that hassle. He ate mashed banana, tomato, tofu and a little eggplant flesh. He didn't sleep much last evening and woke at night for another breastfeed after maybe three times before. He is sleeping now and started sleeping at 11. He sometimes has constipation for one day and then repeated defecation the next day. And at least one made his clothes smell like fecal matter without defecation. But no obvious other symptoms. We have a cat but keep everything to do the cat totally separate- Fluffy cat doesn't even approach Hugo- doesn't like his smell. Fluffy is a cautious cat.
Is parasites for Hugo a serious possibility?
 

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Anything is a possibility at this stage.

I think this warrants the inconvenience of waiting an hour.


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He's 8 months old and you're concerned that he can't get into the trash can and scatter papers all over the floor?

I am concerned about the fact that he hasn't gained weight in the last few months, but everything else you've said so far seems normal for an 8 month old. He stands and crawls. He plays responsive games. He eats a variety of foods, his elimination doesn't sound unusual - a day of not pooping, followed by a day of lots of pooping is well within the range of normal. So are stinky farts. His sleeping sounds an awful lot like he's hitting a sleep regression that's fairly typical for a 9 month-old.

Your cat is probably avoiding your son because infants are unpredictable and grabby, and not because there is something wrong with him. As you say, Fluffy is a cautious cat.

If you are worried, it is absolutely worth waiting an hour to see the doctor, but the only thing I can identify as a cause for concern in your posts is that he hasn't gained weight. My kids both went through a stage where they grew taller, but didn't put on weight for a month or so. It was a touch worrying, but they were doing all the right things, developmentally - babbling, playing, eating well, eliminating, scooting and crawling.

You also seem worried about your wife's emotional state. Is there someone she can talk to about post-partum depression?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
The numbers are 6.7 kg at 4 months and 8 kg at 8 months. So you aren't concerned that his exercise options are highly restricted- that's what the bin comment is about. Unfortunately the doctors do not encourage enough health checks here- the paperwork discourage earlier checks- they saw him more than 2 times in those ages. Prenatal and natal and postnatal support is 1960's in attitude in Japan.
 

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You're his dad -if you think your child's exercise options are too restricted, you are very well-placed to change that. Take him to the park, or clear up a room so that it's a safe place for him to explore.

I don't see not getting into trash cans as an issue for babies, because if he *was* rummaging through the bin, you'd have to fix that. He plays ball games, crawls, and pulls up, so his gross motor skills are right on track.

Seeing a kid every other month between 4 months and 1 year sounds like the well child schedule in the US. If there's not a specific cause for concern, that should be plenty.
 

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I read that you think your wife's expressions of anger towards you and her refusal to let baby play in the garbage may be hindering his development. While obviously it is better for baby to be in a peaceful environment, I don't believe squabbling between parents is going to affect his growth. You describe her harshly in your posts, so I suspect the problems are not entirely one-sided. However, if your wife is having difficulty with her moods, perhaps she should talk to her own doctor about that -- post-partum depression is a very real thing. And I understand that baby seems to like playing in the trash bin, but there are babies all over the world who are not allowed to toss trash around the house and they grow up just fine. There are many other activities you can engage in with him.
 

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The numbers are 6.7 kg at 4 months and 8 kg at 8 months. So you aren't concerned that his exercise options are highly restricted- that's what the bin comment is about. Unfortunately the doctors do not encourage enough health checks here- the paperwork discourage earlier checks- they saw him more than 2 times in those ages. Prenatal and natal and postnatal support is 1960's in attitude in Japan.


>500g/month is absolutely fine in terms of weight gain. It's actually slightly more than average for his age :)

You mentioned that he had not gained any length. If that is the case, it's not a huge concern. Babies often don't increase weight and length in parallel. It is very common to have a gain in one followed sometime later by a gain in another.

I didn't quite understand your last sentence but, if you mean that he is being seen about every two months then I agree with the PPs that that sounds fine unless there is a problem. That is standard in Australia for the first 6 months as well and after that we start to stretch it out to 3 monthly, then 6 monthly after they turn one (the well visits coincide with the vaccination visits).


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Discussion Starter · #13 · (Edited)
You're his dad -if you think your child's exercise options are too restricted, you are very well-placed to change that. Take him to the park, or clear up a room so that it's a safe place for him to explore.

I don't see not getting into trash cans as an issue for babies, because if he *was* rummaging through the bin, you'd have to fix that. He plays ball games, crawls, and pulls up, so his gross motor skills are right on track.

Seeing a kid every other month between 4 months and 1 year sounds like the well child schedule in the US. If there's not a specific cause for concern, that should be plenty.
I am not well placed to change that- I work weekdays and my wife maintains an iron grip over home life. For instance, she didn't even show me the record of my baby directly. I might able see it with her at some undefined time in the future for a few minutes.
 

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So, the, what's your plan? Your wife rules the house with an iron fist. You're an adult and hypothetically her partner, you're concerned, and unlike everyone else in this conversation, you're actually there. If you want things to change, you need to push for those changes.

My dad worked weekdays, and came home and played with his kids. My children's dad works weekdays, and comes home eager to see the kids. Working weekdays doesn't prevent you from being an involved parent.

You have a concern. The Internet can make suggestions, but ultimately, you're the one who needs to act. Figure out what you want to do, and do that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
>500g/month is absolutely fine in terms of weight gain. It's actually slightly more than average for his age :)

You mentioned that he had not gained any length. If that is the case, it's not a huge concern. Babies often don't increase weight and length in parallel. It is very common to have a gain in one followed sometime later by a gain in another.

I didn't quite understand your last sentence but, if you mean that he is being seen about every two months then I agree with the PPs that that sounds fine unless there is a problem. That is standard in Australia for the first 6 months as well and after that we start to stretch it out to 3 monthly, then 6 monthly after they turn one (the well visits coincide with the vaccination visits).


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You miscalculated its 1.3kg/4 months equals 300g/month. I like thoughts on a plan that doesn't involve a stupid doctor telling us Hugo is fine.
 

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You don't believe the "stupid doctor" or the posters here telling you that the weight gain is within normal limits. It is not a concern if your child is smaller than average -- half the babies in the world are smaller than average -- as long as he is gaining and meeting his milestones, which he seems to be.

You don't think your wife or the grandparents are parenting the way you would like, but you are too busy to change things.

You wife doesn't "let" you see the child's medical records: however, as the father you have a right to get copies yourself if you think there is something she is not telling you.

What exactly are you looking for here?
 

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Well, stop for a minute and consider the possibility that Hugo is fine.

Absolutely everything you have said about your son indicates that he's a healthy child. I understand that you're worried, and that must be terrifying, but you literally do not have a single cause for concern that you have told us. You started by thinking he'd gained no weight, but that's wrong, he's gained pretty well, actually. So weight gain isn't a concern. Developmentally, he sounds fantastic.

Is there anything that could reassure you, and cause you to believe that your son is doing well?
 

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You miscalculated its 1.3kg/4 months equals 300g/month. I like thoughts on a plan that doesn't involve a stupid doctor telling us Hugo is fine.


So I did. 80g/month is still acceptable growth though. Check the table in the link I provided above.


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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I am still a little concerned because he hasn't made any noticeable physical ability changes in the last 2 months. He can still only lean against walls. He can't stand for a second however he doesn't have any opportunities to be on solid hard ground. He can't crawl in the park as it is "dirty" and "a risk". My mother often emails to ask about what can Hugo can do now and I have to say he is exactly the same. Maybe he has tried a different food but that's all. His baby teeth show no sign of coming out.
 

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I am still a little concerned because he hasn't made any noticeable physical ability changes in the last 2 months. He can still only lean against walls. He can't stand for a second however he doesn't have any opportunities to be on solid hard ground. He can't crawl in the park as it is "dirty" and "a risk". My mother often emails to ask about what can Hugo can do now and I have to say he is exactly the same. Maybe he has tried a different food but that's all. His baby teeth show no sign of coming out.
Supervising babies on playgrounds can be a headache. Is the floor in your home nor solid, though? You can take him out of the playpen.

Ultimately, I think that you're going to need to make efforts to be more involved - take off work to go see the doctor for well child visits, come home and play with the baby, child proof some space so he can crawl around somewhere.

If you're worried about your wife's mental health, you need to talk to her about that and figure out what would help. You should also spare some concern for your own.

When my daughter was small, I had severe post-partum depression. One of the symptoms of that was that I sort of stopped being able to really see the baby. I wasn't able to notice changes. And dd was a preemie, and did take a long time to catch up I'm terms of development. One thing that helped was for me to spend time with the baby and with other people who were excited about babies. Those people were far more observant than I was about changes.

That wasn't the only thing that helped - getting enough sleep was huge.

Teeth will come when they come. Tell your mom about playing ball games with the baby, or teach him peek a boo. He may have hit a plateau on gross motor skills, but he's probably hard at work on something else - flirting or babbling or solid food.
 
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