Mothering Forum banner
1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,484 Posts
I have had the worst day. This says it all:

Quote:
High-need children and parents need:

* more understanding
* more encouragement
* more help
* less criticismIn fact, "high-need" not only describes the child, it describes the relationship between parents and child. "High-need family" says it all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,186 Posts
My son was/is high needs, and let me tell you...Dr. Sears' "The Fussy Baby Book" became my bible. I started just sobbing a few pages into it, that relieved "finally, someone GETS IT" cry, kwim?

If you have a high needs baby, GO GET THAT BOOK. You can read it on the toilet
. That's what I did. Read it cover to cover.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,484 Posts
The thing is for me, I don't have a fussy baby. My baby is fine. My baby is adorable! My 3yo is the one who's high needs!!!!! And I am
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,463 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well, stupid me has a huge lending library and I have all Dr. Sear's books including the Fussy baby one, do you think I have even looked ta it yet?

:

I just grabbed it off shelf now and plan to dive in today.

I used to whine that my first dd was high needs. Suffice to say while her sleep sucked the first year, she was NOT high needs.

This child my second, is HIGH needs. Very High. Mountian top high. I mean, sleep is simply something not done for any decent period of time in this house. Quick to temper, loud, demanding and just ACK!!!!!!! That is my child.

Bless Dr. Sears for knowing we're not nuts for trying to care for our babes minus the horrendous practices out there. My mom just now on the phone said "yeah you might want to just nurse her in her room on rocker because she'll just end up in your bed forever......"

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,186 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by annakiss
The thing is for me, I don't have a fussy baby. My baby is fine. My baby is adorable! My 3yo is the one who's high needs!!!!! And I am

Well, you can use a lot of the stuff he talks about with them as they get older.
I know how hard it is. Just reading it might at least make you feel a little better. It's a great book. Really.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,186 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by my2girlsmama
Well, stupid me has a huge lending library and I have all Dr. Sear's books including the Fussy baby one, do you think I have even looked ta it yet?

:

I just grabbed it off shelf now and plan to dive in today.

I used to whine that my first dd was high needs. Suffice to say while her sleep sucked the first year, she was NOT high needs.

This child my second, is HIGH needs. Very High. Mountian top high. I mean, sleep is simply something not done for any decent period of time in this house. Quick to temper, loud, demanding and just ACK!!!!!!! That is my child.

Bless Dr. Sears for knowing we're not nuts for trying to care for our babes minus the horrendous practices out there. My mom just now on the phone said "yeah you might want to just nurse her in her room on rocker because she'll just end up in your bed forever......"


Ugh, I remember how everyone criticized my parenting of ds when he was younger, they were all such armchair quarterbacks, it drove me nuts. I *told* them over and over again, you don't understand, thus-and-such won't work with ds, he isn't wired that way. EVERY SINGLE PERSON who criticized me quickly recanted when they saw what ds was like in person. Then they were all, "ooh, I don't know how you do it, you're doing such a great job." Yeah, bite me.
: Funny how everybody thinks you're just hormonal or a nervous mother until they witness and experience your high needs kid first hand, then they suddenly change their tune. That irritated me to no end. It also taught me that I know my child, and everybody else can just get bent.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,024 Posts
i have a very high need baby. i'm considering getting the fussy baby book as well. has it helped any of you out? my ds constantly has to be in arms or ateast have eye contact with us at all times. the first 2 months of his life he had undiagnosed GERD. now with zantac he is slightly better but there are days (like today) where he drives me batty!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,591 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Finch
Ugh, I remember how everyone criticized my parenting of ds when he was younger, they were all such armchair quarterbacks, it drove me nuts. I *told* them over and over again, you don't understand, thus-and-such won't work with ds, he isn't wired that way. EVERY SINGLE PERSON who criticized me quickly recanted when they saw what ds was like in person. Then they were all, "ooh, I don't know how you do it, you're doing such a great job." Yeah, bite me.
: Funny how everybody thinks you're just hormonal or a nervous mother until they witness and experience your high needs kid first hand, then they suddenly change their tune. That irritated me to no end. It also taught me that I know my child, and everybody else can just get bent.

:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,463 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Finch
Ugh, I remember how everyone criticized my parenting of ds when he was younger, they were all such armchair quarterbacks, it drove me nuts. I *told* them over and over again, you don't understand, thus-and-such won't work with ds, he isn't wired that way. EVERY SINGLE PERSON who criticized me quickly recanted when they saw what ds was like in person. Then they were all, "ooh, I don't know how you do it, you're doing such a great job." Yeah, bite me.
: Funny how everybody thinks you're just hormonal or a nervous mother until they witness and experience your high needs kid first hand, then they suddenly change their tune. That irritated me to no end. It also taught me that I know my child, and everybody else can just get bent.


From your lips to God's (and everyone else's) ears!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,901 Posts
Wanted to come back to say I sent it to my cuz and then never heard from her - I thought she was torked at me or something but she was really just out of town!
She called to touch base and then said "oh thank you for the email about high needs babies! Everything described C and I have this totally different way of understanding things" or something like that. Then she went on to say a friend of hers also had a high needs baby and she fwd'ed it on to her too
Wow! I thought. A good reminder for me to give new mamas a benefit of a doubt, not everyone a sheeple chewing the mainstream cud even if it apears to be so at first.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,824 Posts
I had no idea that my son was high needs until I had my daughter... (10 yrs later). I just thought that I was doing something wrong as a parent, and that I was a bad mom somehow. (it makes me sad now to know that I felt this way for 10 years...) When he was first born they all said "its colic...nothing you can do about it, just let him cry it out". When he was 3 months old and still crying they said "oh he must be teething, put whiskey on his gums" and I was 18 yrs old, had never even seen a baby before...so after 3 months of him crying every night I listened...
Plus of course the deal with adding cereal to his milk waaaaay too soon. So then we go on and he has ear infections and gets tubes in his ears at about 16 months old, then they say "oh its just because of the ear infections" and then "oh its just the terrible twos... you need to start disciplining him more". My parents yelled at me because I didn't want to spank my son, and didn't believe me when I said it just made the situation worse if I did do it. When my son was in kindergarten, the school said that if I did not put him on ridlin or something similar they would kick him out of school and call child services.

Eventually we got things switched around, but it took a LONG time because I spent so much time listening to everyone else tell me what I was doing wrong that I think I just made the problem worse. Now that I've moved away from all the well wishers and stood up to the 'authorities' (school, etc), my son is a happy, normal, highly energetic 10 yr old.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,396 Posts
I loved that book! You know what though, it's great to read it an all and know that there are other people who think the same way you do, but when even your DH is starting to pressure you to CIO, it's hard.
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top