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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My nearly 13 month old is giving me a real run for my money.<br>
The fourth of four intense children, he is by far the most challenging kiddo thus far.<br><br>
He sleeps two to three hours before nursing non-stop for the rest of the night.<br>
He only naps about 20-30 minutes at at time.<br>
He refuses to ride in the car without shrieking until he is covered in sweat, and looks at though he is having a stroke.<br>
He has begun throwing himself out of the ergo, wraps, or carriers and refuses to be in a stroller.<br>
He is only happy if he is crawling and taking out every item in the house that is not a toy.<br>
Toys are simply unacceptable to him, although he is fond of books.<br>
I cannot leave him for more than about an hour (only with his papa or grandma) without him melting completely.<br>
He will not let anyone soothe him, except for me, but he sometimes refuses my comforting, as well.<br>
He screams so loudly it is actually painful...but letting him cry, even for a few moments, is not an option<br>
A. because we don't believe in it for a variety of reasons.<br>
B. because he never settles or self soothes, he simply gets more and more upset until he actually looks as though he is having a seizure or causing himself physical harm.<br><br>
Having said all this...if he is engaged in sensory activities...sand or water play for example...crawling freely in an environment where there is plenty to touch...dancing to music with heavy rhythms...he is an absolute delight!<br>
He smiles and grins and gives kisses. He adores his siblings, and can be very loving.<br><br>
Nonetheless, I am exhausted. He will not play by himself, even for a moment.<br>
I am also concerned for his health, as his cortisol levels must shoot off the charts when he gets upset, which is often, and often unpreventable.<br><br>
Our pediatrician just kind of shrugs it off. "He's quite a protester!That's great.Just love him" he says. When he was really young, he would actually break blood vessels in his face that would squirt blood. It was awful! Pediatrician's suggestion was, don't go anywhere.<br><br>
But we need to function...<br><br>
I can't get online. I can't write,shower, work, cook, clean, etc.<br><br>
Any suggestions for books (aside from high need baby, parenting your spirited child,no cry sleep solution, unconditional parenting) or resources would be greatly appreciated.<br><br>
People never seem to get how serious this is, and there don't seem to be any books that really have answers that work for us.<br><br>
(For the record...the wee one is a homebirthed, non-circed, non-vaxed, co-sleeping, carried/worn, narrated to, very loved little boy living in a stable environment).
 

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I dont have any answers mama. Ds was similar, not quite as bad, and he was my first, so it was a littler easier to deal with. I'm still waiting for it to tottaly improve, sometimes I do just hold him as he throws a tantrum, and tell him that mommy loves you, i know its frustrating, dont be afraid, mama is here, we still love you, you arnt in trouble. he eventually calms down enough to nurse.
 

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My DS had a lot in common with your little guy at his age. He too is a huge sensory seeker. I'd definitely try and incorporate much more sensory stuff into his day, since he seems to crave it, and that might in turn calm him down a bit. The sand and water like you are doing, but also climbing, swinging, pushing a walker or something similar, a ride on toy, xylophones and shakers, lots of bear hugs . . . just experiment and see what maybe works for him. As he gets a little older, more activities will be an option - fingerpaints and playdoh might engage him, pulling a wagon, that sort of thing.<br><br>
With my DS it helped me a lot to step back a little and try and see what he wanted to do and when. I then turned that into a routine. I had huge fights on my hands at nap and bedtimes because I thought bedtime should be around 8 o clock. But when I let him be, I noticed he naturally napped around 2-3:30 and then would get tired at night around 10:30. Naptime and bedtime became so much easier after this. It might not work for your DS, but this sort of thing helped me stay sane!<br><br>
As for books, I'm reading The Out of Sync Child Has Fun for ideas of what sort of activities might engage my DS. It's written for kids with sensory processing disorder, but the sorts of things can also be enjoyed by kids without sensory issues. Having said that I don't think it would be much use until your DS was closer to 2 (my son turned 2 in February).<br><br>
ETA: Oh, and I forgot to say have you experimented with diet at all? Sometimes allergies can be the root of all this sort of behaviour. My DS reacted to all sorts of things I was eating that he was getting through my milk. We've made a lot of changes to his diet and it certainly helped some areas.
 

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I would read the books "The Out of Sync Child" and "Raising a Sensory Smart Child". Pediatricians often don't know about this, but if you insist, you might be able to get a referral to an Occupational Therapist for evaluating Sensory Processing Disorder. Your descriptions sound a lot like kids who have sensory issues -- not good at sleeping, not good at self-soothing (kids with sensory issues often can't 'unwind' once they've wound up), happy doing sensory activities....<br><br><a href="http://www.sinetwork.org/" target="_blank">http://www.sinetwork.org/</a> - this one has a list of OTs who work with sensory kids<br><a href="http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/" target="_blank">http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/</a><br><br>
I would also recommend the book "The Emotional Life of the Toddler" - there's a chapter on kids who are energetic and busy that should help.
 

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Oh Mama...I am feeling you and sending much calm and soothing energy your way. I, too, have an intense one...but he doesn't seem to go to quite the extremes that you describe in your ds.<br><br>
I found an amazing book recently called "Spiritually Healing the Indigo Children" by Wayne & Ellen Dosick. I don't know if you have read anything about the Indigos or Crystal children, but I would highly suggest looking into that. There is also a book called "The Indigo Children" by Jan Tober & Lee Carroll that explaines in detail about the unique characteristics of these children.<br><br>
This book is unique b/c it actually gives exercises for healing some of the emotional and spiritual wounds these very special children are carrying. I am working with my 11 year old dd and myself with this book and am finding to be awesome!!<br><br>
Good luck and remember that you are equipped with everything you need to handle this little one or he would not have chosen you!!!
 

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Oh mama I understand!! Fourth of four HNs? I was hoping that if I get preggers that there is no WAY this cold happen again!! guess it can uh?<br><br>
I second all the book reccomendations. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I don't have any advice, but I've got a screamer that is so high pitched, he makes people cower and hide their ears in public <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: And my ears frequently ring by the end of the day like I've been to a rock concert.<br><br>
Big Hugs, I hope those books help!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JessSC</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8201536"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't have any advice, but I've got a screamer that is so high pitched, he makes people cower and hide their ears in public <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: And my ears frequently ring by the end of the day like I've been to a rock concert.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ....my ds is exactly the same...we had good friend over for dinner who is quite familiar with ds. Of course, something got ds going and he really let it out...my friend turned to me and said, "At first it's just really loud, but then he hits this pitch...it makes me kind of want to throw up". I could only laugh at that one!<br><br>
I am philosophically against just letting kids cry, but just this morning ds was just going nuts and I just picked him up and took him to our room, set him on the bed and told him that when he was done with the fit I'd be back to take him out to play. It lasted not 30 seconds beyond that. When they are doing it for your benefit, the only thing you can do is take yourself out of the equation.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks for your replies mamas! I hadn't the chance to read them until just now.<br><br>
We went to the pediatrician again today(saw someone different in the same office), and she did, in fact, recommend us to an Occupational Therapist for Sensory Integration issues.<br><br>
I can't tell you what a relief that was! Finally (after witnessing his intense response to a diaper change) someone concurred that he wasn't a totally "normal" baby.<br><br>
It has been so difficult, because he is clearly NOT autistic. He connects visually, emotionally, and socially, and has normal motor and verbal development, but he just can't regulate or soothe himself.<br><br>
I just ordered The Out of Sync Child, and now must run...he's trying to rip the keys off rge1`r the comp-uter!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
I hope that this gets smoother!
 
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