[AmandaBL]

If your partner views internet porn, does it bother you? Do you subscribe to the "don't ask" policy?

I can't imagine this being a big issue for me (I don't think my DH is a regular porn viewer, but I'm sure he's been there done that) and I'm wondering if I'm missing something.

 

[lumi]

I actually don't know if my DH looks at internet porn - we have separate computers and respect each other's privacy. I'm pretty sure he does occasionally (so do I), and that's fine with me, and he knows it's fine. It's no more of an issue for us than my collection of erotic writings, or his Maxims under the bathroom sink (just for reading? Don't know, don't care).

I think porn is only a problem in a relationship if the couple has conflicting views about it. We both subscribe to the theory of "your fantasies are your business"; as long as it doesn't interfere with our sex life together (it doesn't), what each of us does alone is a non-issue.

We also have a separate computer for the kids, so there's no worries about them stumbling across things they shouldn't.

 

[Tanibani]

No, it does not bother me in the least.

1 - he's not obsessed with it.
2 - he doesn't pleasure himself to it (he doesn't need to)

We have separate computers. Sometimes I walk in on him viewing it (rarely, he is usually doing other things) and he is beet red. :LOL I just laugh.

He hates strip bars. Finds them boring and the women (although pretty) manipulative. When biz associates want to go, he finds excuses not to.

I think if he was a "womanizer" (he ain't) then, yeah, it might be a problem. But it's not.

Funny, Chris Rock said that a woman either has the porn gene or doesn't (is very offended by the whole thing). I guess I have the porn gene. :LOL

 

[Kleine Hexe]

I'm a porn gene carrier as well.

If it keeps him from waking me at 5am......have at it! :LOL

 

[Storm Bride]

My dh and I met online. We used to send each other links to porn pics - they'd be in messages like "want to try this?". It helped keep the physical element alive between visits (we only saw each other for 4-5 days ever 2-3 months for the first year and a bit). I don't have any issue with porn with dh. But, I can understand the problems. My ex had serious sexual problems, and he used to hide his porn (this was mostly pre-internet), even though it didn't bother me. That suggests that he thinks it's something to be ashamed of...yet he kept using it.

Starting to ramble...no - internet porn doesn't bother me. But, it could (and did) bother me in the context of a relationship that was already in trouble.

 

[eightyferrettoes]

It bugs me if I'm not getting laid. If I'm begging for a roll, and my partner is enjoying himself to porn instead, I'm PLENTY angry.

 

[KarmaChameleon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eightyferrettoes It bugs me if I'm not getting laid. If I'm begging for a roll, and my partner is enjoying himself to porn instead, I'm PLENTY angry.

 

[stafl]

I don't have a problem with it.

 

[WinterBaby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe If it keeps him from waking me at 5am......have at it! :LOL

That pretty much sums up my opinion, lol. I just don't do early mornings...

 

[AmandaBL]

Running over to the "Get to know Kleine Hexe" thread.........

Just kidding. Yea, I'm a carrier too - I just don't care. I've seen a few threads about it here & was curious what issues someone WOULD have with it (assuming the relationship is healthy).

 

[aolinsmama]

my dh is very rare/occasional about it, if it were something he appeared to be obsessing over, we would have a talk about it. and yeah, that would bother me, not on a "oh i'm freaking out its porn level" but on a "whats going on with him level"

 

[hunnybumm]

Yes porn does bother me because my DH does his business to it and "can't do it (masterbate) with out it." If he looked at it occasional, just to look, and didn't pleasure himself I really wouldn't have an issue. But 5 times a week plus taking care of business... I have a problem with it.

And I do have a thread about it on here. :LOL

 

[LoveChild421]

Quote:

I've seen a few threads about it here & was curious what issues someone WOULD have with it (assuming the relationship is healthy).

Thankfully, my man isn't into porn- sees it as something 14 year old boys who aren't getting laid do... and I would have a problem with it if he did like it simply because I don't understand why someone who is in a passionate, loving relationship who has "sex on tap" (literally he can get it any time he wants) would have any desire to look at porn. I am lucky he feels the same way. Also internet porn in particular bothers me because from what I have seen in my pre-relationship days- it is just skanky and degrading- internet porn is definately on a different level than say a French erotic film KWIM?

But hey whatever floats your boat...every relationship is different...I would be thrilled if my man woke me up at 5 am or heck 3 am to GIO

 

[mamameg]

I'm okay with porn in general. I think it is poorly stereotyped as something only men enjoy. Some internet porn is degrading, but I don't think it's degrading by nature. There really is so much more porn out there than the super hardcore, degade women with sinister headlines, type of stuff. There is a lot of amatuer porn, independently produced and distrubuted by people who just like sex. Same with films. There are women run film production companies, and women run internet porn sites. It's not all the same.

 

[LizD]

My dh loves the "degrading" stuff because he is healthy and can tell the difference between fantasy and reality. He would never do anything nonconsensual but there are plenty of people who enjoy the fantasy- both on the giving and receiving ends. There are sites for serious S/M stuff and there are waiting lists for the women who want to be in these scenes; they have to apply. They enjoy it; lots of people do. Like S/M or just about any kind of sexual activity, porn is only a problem, as someone said, if there are conflicting views on it. Even conflicting views don't have to be a problem I suppose; it's if one thinks it's "wrong" and their partner isn't allowed to do it if it's a problem. Though I fall into it too, I really have no right to allow or forbid my husband to do anything. But back to the OP, no I have no problem with it; if I am waiting on him to do something or need attention it makes me cranky, but so does his playing on the xbox, talking to the neighbor, working when I could use help...etc. It's no different from anything else as far as I'm concerned.

 

[umefey]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eightyferrettoes It bugs me if I'm not getting laid. If I'm begging for a roll, and my partner is enjoying himself to porn instead, I'm PLENTY angry.

ITA.

 

[UnschoolnMa]

Porn is not an issue for me. I don't care if he views it

 

[UnschoolnMa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumi I actually don't know if my DH looks at internet porn - we have separate computers and respect each other's privacy. I'm pretty sure he does occasionally (so do I), and that's fine with me, and he knows it's fine. It's no more of an issue for us than my collection of erotic writings, or his Maxims under the bathroom sink (just for reading? Don't know, don't care).

I totally agree

 

[Nature]

Porn would be an issue for me. My dh doesn't look at it, and either do I. Though sometimes we will stumble on a website and both get a chuckle out of it. Luckily I found a man that isn't interested in looking at other women for sexual pleasure. For myself, the reason why I would have issues.. is because I have had a few relationships where porn was used as another way to abuse me and degrade me. They were horrible relationships complete with physical abuse.

In a healthy relationship, I see nothing wrong with porn if both parties don't have an issue with it. Unfortunatly I have baggage, I guess you'd call it, surrounding this.

:

 

[PikkuMyy]

I don't have a problem with it but when DH does it (with or without me) it's of the "Wow - look what these people did" kind of viewing rather than "OMG these women with no pubic hair and silicone boobs are the only thing I can be pleasured by."

Most of the complaints I've read about on here about it have to do with issues outside of the porn itself - lying about it, sneaking, using porn for sex instead of being intimate with the wife, etc. Those things I would have a problem with. But they certainly imply relationship problems of which the porn problems are only a symptom.