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My 5 yo DD has always spent a lot of time with her Greatgrandfather. She is very indulged there she chooses supper and the television show and he gets her water when she demands and makes her snacks and all the things that loving family does, not realizing they are creating a behaviour problem.<br><br>
The issue is that she is now incapable of entertaining herself. When she is bored she comes to me to be entertained, interrupts and demands attention. If she doesnt get it, she will start acting out to get the attention she wants. I need to work with her to start entertaining herself as I have a 3 yo and a 7 mo that need me as well.<br><br>
I have cut out all television and computer and try to help her find things to do. How can I talk to her about this, without hurting her. When I tried she ended up in tears saying, Its all my fault (meaning hers) .<br><br>
She doesn't understand and it is not her fault she has had a built in entertainment center for most of her life.<br><br>
How do I start down this trail?<br><br>
Help!
 

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I would say that first you need to make sure she isn't seeing this as a way for you not to pay attention to her. As in "go away and play so I can pay attention to other child". I'm sure this isn't what you are saying, but I can see how she might think its what is up, especially if this is a sudden change for her. So, maybe start with "I will play with you for X amount of time and then you need to play by yourself for a bit". She's only 5, so she will still need a lot of your attention and help. She would probably also be less likely to be demanding if she had some reliable one-on-one time with you each day.<br><br>
Can you encourage independence with snacks, water etc. as a good thing that she can do it herself, rather than focus on your not doing it? If she is getting ready to go to school in the fall, maybe emphasizing that these are skills she needs for that?<br><br>
It seems like a huge thing to expect her to suddenly entertain herself AND take away several ways that she could do it (TV, computer...) Do you have to do this all at once? Maybe it would be better to wean down computer and TV time naturally or at least in logical stages? Maybe 1 hr. this week, 1/2 an hour next week?<br><br>
Have you made sure that she can physically get to the things she needs to entertain herself? Can she get out crayons or dolls or whatever? Does she have enough space where younger siblings can't destroy what she is doing and/or she can safely play with big kid toys?
 

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Can you ask her to help you by entertaining one of the younger kids so you can get something else done? Sort of put her in charge of solving the nothing-to-do problem for someone else while coincidentally solving it for herself.... This has worked for me sometimes in asking the Girl Scout who's already finished her project and is whining with boredom to entertain my son so I can help the other girls with the project. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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My 4 1/2 year old is just like this. I think some of the behavior is age appropriate. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
We've been reteaching her how we would like her to handle stuff and rethinking our responses to her.
 
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