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<p>This isn't my first homebirth, so I have definitely interviewed before. I would still appreciate anyone's advice on finding the right midwife for me, and knowing her when we meet on Friday!</p>
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<p>Thanks!</p>
 

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My last home birth was not candles and roses, so maybe I'm a little jaded. I would ask what birth complications the MW has personally handled, and how they came out. I will never again birth with someone who hasn't had to deal with at least one emergency transfer for mom and (in different births) for baby. Having had an emergency after my birth, and some issues during labor, I can tell you the most frightening thing was picking up on my MW anxiety and fear due to never having to deal with an emergency before. When all goes well, babies deliver themselves. But if the S#** hits the fan, you really want someone who has been there, done that, and is prepared and ready to call for help and keep things under control and everyone alive until help arrives. We all like to think we will step up and do what is needed, but I say go for tried and tested.<br><br>
My first birth I had a MW who freely admitted to attending a stillbirth (cord knot), two births where they called 911 for baby problems after birth (breathing issues for one, lethargic and low apgars for other), one forth degree tear, and two PPH. Her calm energy during my birth was wonderful and supportive. She had seen things go wrong, and this wasn't it. She also had attended twins, breech, and delt with other labor and delivery complications during a mission to Africa where there was no backup if things went wrong. DD got stuck (shoulder discocia) and she delt with it so calmly and smoothly that DH never realized something had gone "wrong" until I pointed it out.<br><br>
My second birth (the tramatc transfer one) was with a fairly new MW. I was her first emergancy transfer. DH has serious trauma, as do I, due to the fear and anxiety she displayed both during labor and after the fact. As he said, "I thought things were okay during your labor. But she seemed nervous. So I felt scared. Is there something wrong I don't know about?". Truth is I was in a great deal of pain, and she just hadn't delt with a labor like mine. When I started hemmoraging, she was very frightened. She didn't show it much, but basically stopped listening to me as she tried to figure out what to do. Trust me, you don't want to be the trying ground on which someone's emergency training is tested.<br><br>
I hope you find someone calm and skilled to support you during labor. Done right, HB is beautiful!
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<p>Have you tried to Google "midwife interview questions"? I did that just now and got back some great results. Basically, ask the midwife anything you want to, and if she has problems answering anything or seems reluctant, then you will know something is up. I have interviewed 4 different midwives and half of them ending up being totally comfortable with the interview process and took all the time in the world with me to answer my ?s and make sure I was comfortable with everything. However, the others left a bad impression on me. One acted more like a doctor, as if I was questioning her as a person instead of wanting to know what her experiences have been, and the other kept wanting to know WHY I was asking her ?s in the first place. She would answer them, but acted weird about the interview process. So you will know who is right for you by the vibes you get during the interview process and by their answers (or lack thereof). </p>
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<p>lunarlady - I am so sorry to hear what you went through with your last HB! To me, that is scary and awful! It's odd to me that your MW was attending you like that when she hadn't experienced the basics of it. Around here, midwives apprentice with experienced midwives until they have just about seen it all so that they know how to handle things once they branch out on their own. Bless your heart!</p>
 
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