Introduction

Hi! My name is Ann, and I am new to this board (but not to MDC).

I have 12-yr-old identical twin boys. DH and I have been practicing gd their whole lives, and it WORKS! Not only are they polite, respectful, and conscientious, they still enjoy hanging out with Mom and Dad!

One of the most important things we learned through this process is that young children do not have a concept of the words No and Don't. My sons were about 2-1/2 when we witnessed a classic example of this phenomenon.

We were visiting my parents, and the boys were "helping" my mom plant flowers. As she dug in the dirt she found earthworms, so she gave each of the boys a worm to play with. First J came into the kitchen and said "Look grandpa! My got a worm!" My Dad exclaimed over what a nice worm it was, much to J's delight, then said "Don't eat the worm!"

We could just see the wheels turning in J's head! He stared at the worm with a disgusted look on his face, then curiosity. One could almost see him thinking "...eat the worm... eat the worm... Grandpa said eat the worm..." At that point he took his worm back outside.

Next B came in with his worm, and we had an almost perfect instant replay of the entire scene, right down to the puzzled look on his face. Then he too went back outside with his worm.

A few minutes later we heard my Mom laughing in the garden, and we went out to investigate. Both boys had dirt around their mouths. James had apparently tried his worm and spit it back out; when we asked B what happened to his worm he proudly announced "My ate it!"

So instead of "don't" commands, we gave "do" commands. Pet the dog gently, sit on your bottom, feet on the floor, that's just to look at, etc worked much better than Don't hit the dog, Don't stand on the chair, Don't touch the plant.