[alison77]

yes, this is way in advance (dc 2 is not due until feb), but i'm already wondering whether ds will be too young to be at birth of #2 when he is two and a half.

 

[mwherbs]

many times a toddler is use to interacting with mom and relies on her for almost everything if this is true of you toddler then having someone there to help care for him is essential. some one he knows and gets along with

 

[Undercover Hippie]

I think it depends a lot on the child and also the environment. My son was a little older--2 years and 10 months--and he was present throughout my labor and birth as much as he wanted to. We had talked about what it would be like, read books ("Welcome with Love" is a great one), watched videos, etc. We were at home so it was not a scary or threatening place like a hospital could be. My mom was there so there was someone devoted only to being with him--I think that is extremely important. They just came in and out as he wanted to. Really he did not think it was all that interesting, LOL. My pushing phase went extremely quickly so they missed it and walked in right as my DD was being born. It worked out great and he still talks about her birth to this day. So I think you have to know your child to know what is best for them, but it is certainly possible. Good luck!

 

[sarahloughmiller]

I think it really depends on the kid. I was thinking of having ds at this birth with someone there to take care of him if he needed something to eat, to go outside & play, etc. I had bad morning sickness this time and he would completely lose it when I threw up which made me think maybe he was not ready. He is also still very needy to me and if I am laying down he is climbing on me and durring contractions that could be really annoying. If you do have him there I would have someone specifically to care for him.

 

[anamama]

My ds is 2 1/2, and we plan on having him at the birth with a support person who is there just for him, so he can come in and out of the room as he wishes and get snacks, naps, playtime, etc. He is really excited about the baby, and we have looked at lots of photographs in birth books of babies being born and mommies making faces during contractions and things to help him prepare.
I think that it depends on the child. I have asked ds, and he always says that he wants to be there. Maybe try asking your little one?

 

[MamaTaraX]

My littlest will be 2.5 when I birth this time (in January). We plan to have him attend thebirth. Someone will be there to care for only him. We indclude him in everything about the pregnancy already and will continue to do so. Once I am showing I plan to have him watching lots of birth videos and reading even more books about it and once I'm really big I plan to start role-playing with him (making "birth noises" so they become familiar, etc). I agree with the above that it depends on the child and the environment and that it is essential to have someone there who's ONLY role is that child's care. I do not think I would take my toddler to the hospital with me; we're having this one at home. My oldest was 4.5 when I had my now-toddler and he came with us to the birth centre. HOwever, there's a big difference between the understanding of a 2.5 yr old and a 4.5 yr old so I was comfortable with taking him with us. It's another reason we are birthing athome, so that we're comfortable with our toddler attending.

Namaste, Tara
proud mama to Doodle (6yrs earthside) Butterfly 22mos earthside) and Rythm (due at home 1/06)

 

[mom2threenurslings]

I agree with everyone who said it depends on the child.

I think it's important to prepare the child, to have a support person for the child, to be open to the child being there, and to be open to the child not wanting to be there (and giving the child the option when the time comes).

Ds#1 was at ds#2's (natural, hospital) birth when he was 18 months old. He was fine with the whole thing and gladly hopped up on the bed after the birth to admire his little brother and nurse alongside him.

Ds#2 was 23 months (and ds#1 was 3.5 yrs) when their little sister was born ( birth center waterbirth), and they both attended her birth. They were fine and really enjoyed being there.

I'm now pg with #4 and ds (6.5), ds (5) and dd (3) will be attending the birth (homebirth). They are all very excited!

To prepare our children, we watch natural birth videos (We have some "A Baby Story" episodes on tape...a home waterbirth, a birth center rocking chair birth, and a few other natural births ... as well as "Unconventional Births" from Discovery Health Channel. We also borrow birth tapes from my midwives.), we talk about birth and what might happen at birth, we read books about birth, and we pretend about birth. Not knowing if I'll be loud or quiet during birth, we play a "birth noises" game where we think of all the noises a mama might make during labor/birth and the kids help me "practice" making the noises. This way, if I do get loud, the kids won't be scared. (When pushing during one birth, my ds helped me make noise!!!) We also have a "Marianna" pregnant / birthing / breastfeeding doll (available through LLLI) that the kids love to play with. My 3 year old dd has been pretending she's pregnant since she was around 18 months old and she even squats in the tub, on the couch, etc. and pretends to give birth, saying "It's hard work getting this baby out of my yoni!!!" and grunting. :LOL

She plans to nurse our "moonbaby" after he / she is born!

 

[wende]

Kaiden was 21 months when Aine was born. He was in the room...he also slept up until the moment she was born. However, I wasn't sure how he would handle things, so I did make sure to have someone near by who could be there for him, my 13yo dd, who he adores and trusts as much as me.

 

[angelpie545]

Just wanted to share my experience here, maybe this will give you some insight: When I got pregnant with dd#2 dd#1 was almost two years old and I was in the process of leaving their father. I told dd#1 immediately that there was a baby in my tummy, and that she would be having a little brother or sister. We read books, and talked about what having a baby in the house would be like. As the time to give birth came closer and closer, I explained more and more about what it would be like, in an age appropriate manner for a two year old of course.
I explained that mommy might make some funny sounds, and what my midwife would be doing. I took her to all my prenatal appointments and let her listen to her sister's heartbeat. I also pre-arranged for my mother to watch over her during the birth and explain things while the events were taking place as I of course was concentrating on giving birth. All in all it was a terrific experience, my birth went well, and dd#2 was born healthy, happy, and quite hungry! :LOL
I wouldn't change anything, and I don't regret having my daughter present for the birth of her sister. Today they are very close with one another, and I think the fact the dd#1 was so well prepared and was present for the birth helped snub sibling rivalry. They are so protective of one another, and they really love each other.
I believe that it really helps the older sibling when he/she is involved in the process of welcoming a new baby. It of course won't prevent all sibling rivalry, but it certainly helps get them off to a good start. I hope that helps, and good luck with your birth!

 

[woobysma]

I was present during my younger sister's birth (3 days after my second birthday) - it was at home, my mom had a midwife and my dad and a neighbor took care of me. I don't actually remember it (which is odd, because I have clear memories of times shortly before and shortly after,

) but I look very calm and curious in the pictures and my parents' both have good memories of the experience.

 

[Mom2baldie]

I think that it depends on the child, but in my familys experience it was absolutely wonderful that we had my 2.5 yo DD at the birth of her baby sister.

I took a lot of time to prepare her by taking her to my MW appts, reading her books about homebirth (Welcome With Love & Runa's Birth), letting her watch the birth videos that my MW lent me and just talking to her about it very often.

I actually was hoping that she would sleep through the birth and that we could wake her up right after, but I am really happy that it worked out the way it did. It was a great experience for her and one that she still talks about almost 9 months later.

 

[applejuice]

Depends on your 2-1/2 year old.

Each one is different.

You know your child better than anyone.

If you decide to have your little one there, and things change, simply have a trusted adult there to care for your DC.

 

[ZeldasMom]

I am having a home birth this time and my son will be 23 months. My sister(s) will be present to provide sibling support. Like a pp, we are exposing him to birth videos. I have a copy of Penny Simkin's 3Rs: Relaxation, Rhythm, and Ritual, which shows a realistic depicition of what laboring/birth is like. I like the idea of having DS around while I am laboring and giving birth. Not so much to witness the birth, but more because this is where I think he will be most comfortable.

Fortunately DS is really getting into babies lately. He really likes the baby pics on this web site:
http://www.greenmountaindiapers.com/

 

[Missinnyc]

I think it also depends on your comfort level, and what you will need. I am not going to bring my almost 3 year old DD to the birth center, just because I know myself, and how I deal with pain and I think I will need to concentrate fully on the task at hand. I know my DD is very attached to me, and would possibly be angry if I was ignoring her trying to talk to me or play with me. I honestly think she would get bored, also. I can always change my mind and have MIL or someone bring her, but unless I was giving birth at home I don't think I would make the effort to bring her and disrupt her routine. It's totally a personal thing, though. Just make sure you think about your needs, not just her's.

 

[Eman'smom]

We choose not to have ds at dd's birth (he was 2.5 years old) he was/is very demanding of dh's and my time/attention. I knew that no matter who his caregiver was it wouldn't matter he wouldn't want them only dh and myself and I knew that if I was going to get through labor med free I needed 100% of dh. Ds went with friends of ours and had a ball there.

It depends on the kid and for us it was the best thing.

 

[cwaddick]

I want DH to pay attention to me, and I want to feel free to be naked during the end of labor and birth.

During DD1's and DD2's births, I sent my mother away, and later my mother with DD1. My mom makes me nervous, and she would have been nervous.

So, with DC's birth in the next week, my mom won't be around, but who could watch my girls at home while I am laboring and birthing in the tub in the livingroom?

I love our babysitter and I think I am comfortable birthing in front of her, but still ...

I don't want to have to divide my attention or DH's attention between DC's birth and the girls. They can be very demanding of our attention. They exhaust us because they are very "spirited" people.

I would like to have them at the birth, but only if they had a designated care provider, not me, not DH, not my MWs. ... I'm a rather private person, and I just don't have anyone in my life right now who I would want around at the time of the birth to watch the girls. I do have one friend out-of-state who I'd feel comfortable with... she has a 6-month old, so I don't know if her child would get along with mine. She would probably be preoccupied with her own baby.

-- Caitlin

 

[cappuccinosmom]

Our 23 month old was at ds2's birth. Accidentally, as the birth went so fast our child-care arrangements didn't pan out. :LOL

But, he did great! I remember once, he cried out and was a little scared, but we all reassured him, and after that, no problem. The nurses got him a coloring book, so that occupied him a little.

And he *loved* the birthing ball. :LOL