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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a history of depression but didn't have PPD with my first. My second is now 6 months old and for the last 6 weeks or so I've just been incredibly angry. Not at the baby specifically but I've been super short-tempered with my oldest and find myself yelling at everyone a lot. Which really is not like me. I used to get really mad at DP when he would raise his voice at all, so for me to be yelling is just really out of character. I've also found that I can't shake the anger. For example I got mad at DP for the tiniest thing this morning (he woke up 5 minutes late) and I've just been in a horrible mood the rest of the day.

So I'm wondering if anyone else has had an experience like this? I don't have big crying spells, but I do have times where I feel very sad. But there has definetely been a change in my personality and I'm wondering if it's just stress from adjusting to 2 kiddos or if it's PPD. Thanks for any input or experiences anyone is willing to share.
 

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Yes, anger can be part of depression. Any kind of depression.
Or, as my favorite TV shrink has been known to say:
"Depression is rage turned inward."

I went through a similar stage right before PPAF showed up. Any possibility of that? It was seriously like two months of PMS. And I was dealing with some PPD issues at the time as well.

s mama - you're not alone
 

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Yep, I was super angry with my older dd when dd2 was born. One time I actually yelled at her "Damn you for not letting me take care of my baby". She was 2. I blamed her for feeling disconnected from the baby, as if she could suddenly stop needing me just because I had a new baby to take care of. I knew logically that it was completely unfair, but I still couldn't control feeling that way.
 

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An angry outburst was what prompted me to seek treatment for my PPD. My dh made me really angry because he chose not to shower during one of my dd's night feedings meaning I would have to get up 20 minutes earlier with her when he got up to shower before work. i was so angry I threw her bouncer at the wall(She was not in it or anywhere near it). I had never felt that way before or acted that way in my life and I started Zoloft shortly after that. I am happier now than I have ever been in my life and I have been on Zoloft and every other drug under the sun in the past. I attribute my happiness to my dd, not the Zoloft. The Zoloft just took the PPD/anger out of the way of my happiness. In my experience it doesn't just go away or get better so you may want to think about talking to someone about your feelings! Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you for your help and your words. I don't feel like this is just from lack of sleep with a new baby in the house, I think I need to get help and now I will. I'm going to call my MW this morning. I'm nervous about it, even though I've talked to her about it in the past, I'm sure she'll be understanding and supportive. I guess it's just the idea that putting things out there will really make them real and that's a little scary. It'd be worse to ignore it though, like I have been doing. Thank you all for listening and offering advice and sharing your stories. I'll check back with an update later.
 

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Anger was the big thing for me, too, much bigger than sadness (the sadness came later...when I was tired out from months of rage!). If I'd only felt the sadness first, I might not have gone for help. But the anger scared the bejezus out of me. I felt so out of control, and I hated that I was yelling at DD so much, for nothing. That's what led me to get help.
 

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Like others have said, anger was a huge issue for me, as well. I look back on the time when my second dd was born, and feel terrible for how I treated my older dd- and she was only 20 months old! It was my dh that finally called me on it too.

I remember talking to my Dr, and as I was explaining to him about it, I told hom that the only emotion I seemed to be able to feel freely was anger and rage. Other than that I felt numb, and I knew that my family deserved better than that.

I have found myself slipping into those same feelings- I had a m/c last week, and the feelings are remarkably similar to the ppd that I experienced after my 2nd dd was born. When I flew off the handle at one of my kids for grumbling when I asked her to do something, I knew it was time to take what i was feeling seriously again.
 

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Anger was a #1 issue with me with my PPD after DD#1. This time after DS, anger is an issue, but not as severe as with DD.
 

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When I first figured out that I had PPD, it was because of the anger/short-temperedness, and feeling disconnected from DS1. I felt as though he wasn't even my child - like I was babysitting him. Then I would beat myself up emotionally for not loving him as I should and being as nuturing as I wanted to be, especially at a difficult time for him. It is a downward spiral.

Now I am weaning off of my meds, and I found this week (first week at a lower dose) that I have been really tense, edgy, prickly. Like I have a bad emotional sunburn
: and everything hurts. I want to give it another week to see if the symptoms subside, else I will ramp back up and try again next month.

Also anxiety and PPD go hand in hand, so if you are feeling overwhelmed that may be part of your PPD (or just part of being a new mom!)

GL - hang in there!
 

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My anger is what really made me realize I had PPD. I almost beat up a girl in a Starbucks drive-thru line b/c she cut in front of me and almost hit my car. She wouldn't roll down her window so I tried to open her door. I realized later that I was probably cookoo!
:
I've been much happier since getting on Zoloft.
 

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I have heard that the liver is the seat of anger (Chinese?).

It makes sense in that hormones are a big part of PPD and when liver is over burdened (or not getting the right nutrition 'tools' because of poor digestion) it cannot process hormones properly.

Support digestion (eliminate allergens as well), support liver, detox gently.

Be gentle with yourself.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by littlehawksmom View Post
I have heard that the liver is the seat of anger (Chinese?).

It makes sense in that hormones are a big part of PPD and when liver is over burdened (or not getting the right nutrition 'tools' because of poor digestion) it cannot process hormones properly.

Support digestion (eliminate allergens as well), support liver, detox gently.

Be gentle with yourself.
On this note, I wish I had been more diligent in following my cravings/decoding them during pregnancy. I craved coffee like crazy, which is bitter. When I tried to get to the root of my cravings, mountain mom suggested maybe my liver needed clearing (or something along those lines) and suggested some herbs I could make a tea of instead of coffee.
I tried it for a couple weeks, lost momentum and went right back to coffee
:
One of many nutritional reasons I went through ppd.
 

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Absolutely yes.

One writer (can't remember who) suggested that depression is the result of anger a person doesn't feel they are allowed to express.

Another writer I admire talks about how anger can feel like a relief from sadness and grief, but then other people disapprove of the anger, so we move back down to the sadness. Whereas if we were allowed to feel angry, we might continue to progress emotionally into more and more positive feelings.

And in my experience, anger while post partum can be related to anger at how a birth experience went, or anger being a mom brings up from our own childhood, or both.
 

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nak. i have empathy for all the posts. first time to this forum due to denial, but i am sooooooo angry. filled up with it. doesn't paint a good pic with a 3yo and a 9mo.

so now what? what do you do about it?
 
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