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Is Anyone Else Dealing with...

544 Views 14 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  BeckaBeth
depression? I find myself just wanting to sleep all day and having a hard time finding reasons to get out of bed. I stay at home so I don't really have any responsibilities outside of our home. DH and I have been having problems recently, problems that I'm not real sure how to solve. We have talked about exactly what the problems are, but I really feel like we need to talk about it more whereas he is the typical guy and thinks 'we've already been thru this'. I don't think I have anything new to say about the past, but I do think that the future of 'what to do next' needs more discussion. My baby girl has been trying to 'tunnel' her way out of my right side, often attempting to push my ribs and hips out of her way. I haven't slept through the night (which I consider just getting up once to pee) in around 2 weeks. I'm exhausted but no amount of sleep seems to make me feel better. The aparment is a mess, we have almost no more clean dishes. Everything has just added up and I just want to sleep thru it all. I just feel lost, and very lonely.
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I am not dealing with this personally, having an overwhelming amount of things to do each day and working non-stop, but I did not want to read and not write. There are a lot of changes with pg and hormones, especially now in the third trimester, can really hit a lot of women hard. Two things you might consider: talking to your health care provider about your concerns about depression (especially since ppd depression might be an issue also) AND finding some support and reasons to get out of the house and force yourself to interact wit more people. Sounds like you are lonley and too isilated. Have you looked into local LLL meetings? Posted in the Trabal areas to find out about other soon-to-be moms in your area who you could connect with? Looked into a prenatal yoga class or something similar? These things would get you up and out, interacting with others, and I think might really help you connect with a happier part of yourself.

to you.
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Kathryn --

i feel for you!! i work at home and have no other PG friends or friends w/kids.

two tiny things that are SO helpful -- but not easy to do --

1. you must force yourself to get out of the house every day, at least once -- the park, the mall, a bookstore, a cafe, a movie, whatever it is you need. drive to a different part of town and wander around looking at houses. farmers markets. look at trashy magazines at the drugstore. hit the local library. even a trip to the grocery store -- seeing, smelling, picking up fresh things can do the does wonders...really, it does. i know it sounds weird, but these things work

2. the second thing to do is to find an online mothers group in your town -- i found one here and its pretty amazing. there are infant playgroups that PG ladies are welcome to -- there is also an 07 moms to be group for other people in our exact same situation -- and these women tend to be incredibly supportive and totally "get it" from the depression to the issues with DH ... i am VERY SHY but already went on a hike with one mom to be and have two dates set up to attend playgroups.

so take action, mama, little steps can make a difference. after all that if you feel like doing the dishes, do em, but don't feel like you have to get the house all cleaned up beforehand. that can wind up stalling you and you'll NEVER get out
take it from someone who has been there

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I just want to tell you hugs.
I can understand what you are going through and its tough.
Please do not isolate yourself. Get out of the house, go to the library, volunteer your time some where, etc. Just get out. Heck even hanging out at a coffee shop will help.
My house is a pit too. I have no energy to do anything.
I am dealing with this too. I deal with depression anyway and being off meds and pregnant is really hard on me. If it wasn't for my other kids I'd stay in bed all day. But I have to take them to school and I make myself to one household thing per day...even if it's just emptying out the dishwasher or doing a load of laundry. I am very isolated where I live so that makes it harder. Some days I just want to crawl under the covers but I have a 17 months old and she needs me to be her mommy.

Take care and I hope you can find something to make you feel better!
I have battled depression many times in my life. I have even felt in creep up during this pregnancy. I recall a few weeks ago, like you being so tired, all I did was stay in bed all day. Little to no housework. When I went to my MW she always talks about nutrition. Now nutrition will not cure true depression, but I do think that it helps put our bodies back in balance. But when you are sad you do not want to eat well, it is so much eaiser to eat convient food. So what am I saying, start with a baby step & decided to eat good food. It can help, plus know you are doing it for your baby. Then it could help with taking other baby steps.
Also talk to your health provider. Go to your health provider, get out of the house. See the sun, feel the light. Move, even if it is a little bit. One hour at a time....when it is like this.
Keep us are not alone.
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Yes, I am dealing with this too. I am worried about how I will be post partum.
I sometimes feel like I am experiencing pre-partum depression. I don't really have any advice to offer, but just wanted to let you know that I'm there with ya.
Im there with you. it's bad enough that I dont even have the energy to talk about it.
i was like this last time too and postapartum I was great I was so in love with sammy and I had alot of support. It was good.... but Im back in the dark place again. I cant really get out right now
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The emotions that hit me at this point in pg are outrageous. I totally understand how you're feeling, Kathryn. I'm a total nut case. And my house is filthy, too. I'm PM'ing you.
You have more support from me too! I deal with seasonal depression and it's been a tough winter with no "meds" (I get a great deal of relief from hormones replacement like the pill) and the extra hormonal imbalance associated with pregnancy. The last few weeks have been killer and it is affecting my ability to get out of bed and my relationship with DH to some extent. He's seen me like this before though and is being very understanding.

I have to agree with all the advice given above, get out once a day, eat healthy, talk to your CP, see if you can find other new mom's in your area to interact with. And most of all, keep talking about it
We're all here to listen and help when needed.

I think the big key is to GET OUT OF BED! We don't want to, and it's hard, but get up, have a shower, get dressed and go for a short walk, even 5-10 min around your neighbourhood if that's all you can muster the first few days. Get into a routine, that helps immensely. Make a list of chores for the morning that you really think you can handle and don't be a perfectionist about it. Don't make a list of everything that needs to be done though, just a list of what you ARE going to do, the feeling of accomplishment when you check them off can help lots too.
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I've noticed that I have good days and bad days. I'm in the June DDC, but thought I'd chime in to say you are not alone! Good advice from all above too.

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I'm sorry you are feeling this way right now. I've been right where you are. Its so very hard to get out of bed but thats the one thing you have to do. Also I found that if I took a shower I felt better, even if I didn't go anywhere if I took a shower I felt like I did something that day.

Another thing I want you to do is call Fleet and Family Service Center and see if they have a new Moms group or a pg support group. Also check with them to s see if they have a spouse support group. I looked online but didn't see if they did but that doesn't mean anything sometimes they don't put all there info on the website. Here is there addy and their number, please call them. Fleet & Family Support Center
1280 Leahy Road
Monterey, CA 93940
(831) 656-3060

Also check out your local LLL too. You will for sure find like minded Moms there too.

You CAN and you WILL get through this. We are here for you to lean on. Keep talking to your DH and just be honest with what you need from him right now. Our hormones are CRAZY right now too and that is not helping right now.

Take care sweetie
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: You've gotten some great advice but I wonder if you've had your hemoglobin checked? Mine was 9.6 and I felt a lot of the same feelings, so sleepy all the time, no motivation, and all around bad mommy to my dd. I've been taking Floridix for about 2 weeks now and I feel like a different person.
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