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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My dh has always complained that I am loud and rude during labor. Ok, I understand, yes I am in labor and I am probably not going to be all peaches and cream, but what I am remembering is that people are wanting to touch me and tell me to do things a different way than what I am, and I tell them no, please stop touching, let me be, etc etc, and he always complains that I have upset the dr by not pushing when he tells me too, I wait till I "feel" the need to push and just ignore(well you know what I mean) the dr up until I tell him I am ready. Is anyone else in there own little world when they are in labor? I swear I would rather be in a room all by myself for the entire labor,lol. Anyone elses so a pita about it?

Nik
 

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Of course! there are a whole lot of women who believe in being in their own world for goddesses sake, It's LABOR!

Anyone who is complaining that you didnt act correctly or properly should get out of the picture because they're not doing you any good.

You might want to spend a little time reading "birthing from within'" and/or hang out on homebirth here.

For a user name like 'goddess' I am surprised that you are calling yourself a pita! A real goddess doesnt grin and look pretty and obey, she is a warrior!
 

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I feel I'm alot louder and nastier during labor than it ends up looking/sounding on video later. It took me a long time to process DD's birth because I was embarrassed about how crazy I thought I acted. Months later when I finally got the courage to watch the video, I was amazed at how what I thought was shouting was actually quiet moaning! The storm was raging on the inside, though!

Letting go. Surrendurring. Riding the wave. Whatever you call it and however you do it is the perfect way for you to birth.

DH will never understand.
 

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LOL..I'd bite DH RIGHT NOW for even insinuating that i am less-than-pleasant during labor.
Then, I'd shove an orange up his nostril and then give him feedback on his demeanor.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
LOL..I'd bite DH RIGHT NOW for even insinuating that i am less-than-pleasant during labor.
Then, I'd shove an orange up his nostril and then give him feedback on his demeanor.
:
 

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sounds to me like you dh's still is under the cultural conditioning so many of us had, to be THE GOOD LITTLE PATIENT....even more strong it is for WOMEN to be GOOD and LISTEN to the docs. Follow your instinct, tell them to leave you alone, shout it and hollar, loose all control and give into the power of BIRTH...and don't feel bad about it! He may be frightened to see your MOTHER strength come forth....thats his trip!
 

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My midwife at my last delivery said I reminded her of a thoroughbred when I was in labor. I wanted it to be dark and quiet and I wanted to be LEFT ALONE. When I got interrupeted my labor would stall a bit. I didn't listen to a thing anyone had to say and I spent much of my time wandering around and trying to find a way to be somewhat comfortable.

Thankfully, DH knows that is just how I am. I tend to be a pita ALL the time and not just when in labor, so it's not really that much different.

I say have no apologies, you are completing the miracle of life and you have every right to act however you want to!
 

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So he thinks you should tear and suffer to make the doctor feel better? Maybe he should divorce you and marry the doctor then. People who try to direct a woman who is pushing fine on her own deserve to treated with violence, should be treated with rudeness, and are lucky to get off with just being told "no". And if your dh can't be supportive of you, maybe you should consider either not having him at your births and/or hiring a doula.

Oh, and being able to get into your own little world during labor despite the people around you has probably saved you from c-sections.
 

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Your DH is a victim - yes, a victim - of our culture.

Women with a better chance of a positive outcome act the way you do during labor. They know what their bodies need, and they ignore anyone trying to counteract the process of labor and delivery.

Forgive your husband, for he knows not what he has done. Then educate him, so he knows what he has done
 

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YOU"RE THE ONE IN LABOR!! Everyone else is there to help you. Who cares if the doctor is upset.
: Your husband is there to support you in the way you need. If that's his strong loving presence instsd of a backrub, so be it!!
I can't stand to be touched in labor. I barely let my husband help hold me up when I stop walking for a contraction!! With my first birth i think I used cuss words my mom had never heard before!
 

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I think I'm exactly like you in labor. The only difference is that I made sure everybody there was in agreement that however I was, that was how I was supposed to be.
 

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I've never labored before, but plan to soon and it will be like you describe it. I've also imagined having a 3' long stick to use to push people out of my space! We have some sticks around the house that would work, so it's not entirely out of question!

Do your thing. YOU are delivering the baby to the world. Nobody else is doing that work.
 

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I was in my own little world in labor...I had a great hands-off midwife to help. I was very polite and calm...I was determined not to be the stereotypical screaming mother you see on TV shows and movies. It was great...I never lost my calm or cool....something I'm proud of considering my high-strung background. My dh did a hip press thingy that helped open up my hips more....he also did counterpressure on my lower back. Those were the only times I was touched and it was exactly what I needed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I remember with our 2nd son, I was talking to my sister in law about birth positions, and he butted in and said " why would you want to squat? Woman have been laying on their backs to have babies for millions of years, why would you want to be different?"
I know he means well, but sometimes he drives me crazy lol........
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by goddessgold1 View Post

I'm not kidding! I bit the nurses, my mom, and my husband during my first labor, and since we were at home and dh was the closest person to me, I bit him again in the second labor. A very foreign, primal something- I cant describe it, comes over me *right at the very end* before I push the baby out, and I need to bite someone
:
 

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I was cussing very loudly because I was in so much pain, and called the doctor a few bad names waiting for him to show up. Anyway, the doctor and nurses heard all the racket but didn't know I was bad mouthing the doctor. But then once he got in the room DH told him I was cussing him out behind his back. I fussed at DH "You weren't supposed to TELL him!!!!!" DH doesn't understand privacy at all... poor thing...
 
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