this is my 4th baby. my prior births have been quick (like between 5 hrs all the way to the real quick 45 minutes) with no tearing or anything. gentle sweet homebirths. for some reason, i am feeling incredibly resistant to doing it again. i know everything will be fine. the problem is the pain! that stuff HURTS! i tried to watch dd's birth video hoping ide look and think oh that was so fast and pretty easy but is made me feel worse as i had forgotten the times i was hollaring "oh goodness it huuuurrrts!!" anyone else experiencing this? im not sure where its coming from but it keeps me up at night worrying about it. tia!
is anyone else scared to death of giving birth?
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I hear you! I watched DS's birth video a few months ago on his first birthday and it brought back all the painful memories. I'm not concerned about the pregnancy or labor but the pushing/crowing part caught me off guard last time and now I'm scared of doing it again.
It's funny buy I never really thought about the REALITY of where the baby was coming out until a few days or even hours prior to each birth. Then I'd get kind of nervous and think-this is gonna hurt!
Sure, I researched the whole birth thing to death but it was always in a distant sort of way-not really me.
Each birth was "relatively" easy in the big scheme of things but each time i still get a little freaked out at the end
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Sure, I researched the whole birth thing to death but it was always in a distant sort of way-not really me.
Each birth was "relatively" easy in the big scheme of things but each time i still get a little freaked out at the end
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I am soooo glad that I didn't have my first birth filmed. Now when I remember it, the worst parts have faded.
I do have to say that I am feeling more nervous about number two than I did the first time around. I guess that now that I know what to expect it is a little more scary than the unknown.
I have started to listen to my CD of birth affirmations from my hypnobirthing class and it is really helping.
You might want to try hypnobirthing if you are feeling afraid. Self-hypnosis is a great technique for any stressful areas of your life and especially for childbirth.
I do have to say that I am feeling more nervous about number two than I did the first time around. I guess that now that I know what to expect it is a little more scary than the unknown.
I have started to listen to my CD of birth affirmations from my hypnobirthing class and it is really helping.
You might want to try hypnobirthing if you are feeling afraid. Self-hypnosis is a great technique for any stressful areas of your life and especially for childbirth.
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On one hand, I'm scared, as dd2's birth was a scary precipitous one. But on the other hand, I'm super excited. I feel that I've done a lot of healing, and I expect this birth to be a lot different!
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Yes, I realized this AFTER transition, when it was time to push... I'm a freaking scientist, I realize how babies are born and I STILL panicked when I got to the pushing part.
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This time now that I know my body can technically do that part, I am feeling a little more confident about it. Plus I tend to WAAAY more afraid of the unknown than of a repeat performance of something painful - so I panicked for #1, but will likely stay more calm for #2. Knowing this is my last child might help too.
I am glad though that I don't have video, or even many pics of DD's birth, and I'm going to try not to think too much about it until it becomes more of an immediate thing (like at least the beginning of the 3rd trimester).
Originally Posted by AnnR33  It's funny buy I never really thought about the REALITY of where the baby was coming out until a few days or even hours prior to each birth. Then I'd get kind of nervous and think-this is gonna hurt! |
This time now that I know my body can technically do that part, I am feeling a little more confident about it. Plus I tend to WAAAY more afraid of the unknown than of a repeat performance of something painful - so I panicked for #1, but will likely stay more calm for #2. Knowing this is my last child might help too.
I am glad though that I don't have video, or even many pics of DD's birth, and I'm going to try not to think too much about it until it becomes more of an immediate thing (like at least the beginning of the 3rd trimester).
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I suspect I'll go through the same emotions as I did the first time when I was in labor... I'll think to myself as I have one contraction on top of the other, "Am I CRAZY? I'm never going to do this again!!!" And when the baby crowned, I was afraid to push because it hurt so much. But I knew I was stuck in purgatory... it hurt to have the baby sit there crowning and it couldn't stay there forever! So push until you can't push no more...
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But just a few hours after my DD was born I said to myself, "OK, I'll do this again in a few years."
This time I think it will be easier in two ways -- I suspect things will go faster (thank goodness I come from a line of women with fast labors) and I know what to expect. I won't rely so heavily on the midwife to tell me what's going on.
Kristin
But just a few hours after my DD was born I said to myself, "OK, I'll do this again in a few years."
This time I think it will be easier in two ways -- I suspect things will go faster (thank goodness I come from a line of women with fast labors) and I know what to expect. I won't rely so heavily on the midwife to tell me what's going on.
Kristin
No i'm not scared. Birthing is by far the most empowering and exciting thing to ever happen in my life. This will be my sixth baby and my last one was unassisted and without a partner and under an insane amount of stress. It was my most painful birth ever and my most powerful. But it just doesn't hinder me in any way because i will not allow my thoughts to interfere with the joy of childbirth. I say daily affirmations instead. One great thing about labor is that it doesn't last forever, our bodies do know what to do, and the end result is the best thing in the whole world!
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Even though my last birth was so wonderful and truly just intense, not painful (except crowning, yow!), I have been worried about going to other births and seeing how it might really suck this time around. I've already found myself reminding myself to lean forward and not recline (no posterior babies and back labor please!) and practicing pain coping practices and doing Birth Tiger Safari (I mentor Birthing from Within classes). I worry that just because I found ease in my last labor doesn't mean this one will not rock my world.
On a separate note, I have noticed that moms who are on their 3+ babies have a more keen sense of what labor feels like (less fog when remembering the experience) and tend to have more fear to work through leading up to labor. It really might help you to find someone (midwife, hypno instructor, birthing from within mentor) who specializes in working through fears as you are preparing for birth. Just an idea.
On a separate note, I have noticed that moms who are on their 3+ babies have a more keen sense of what labor feels like (less fog when remembering the experience) and tend to have more fear to work through leading up to labor. It really might help you to find someone (midwife, hypno instructor, birthing from within mentor) who specializes in working through fears as you are preparing for birth. Just an idea.
I am more excited about this birth. DD's birth was so humiliating and demeaning for me as a person that I have been looking forward to reclaiming myself and my body with another birth. Hopefully it all goes as plans, and Im sure as the day grows closer a little fear will sneak in.
After 2 unmedicated pitocin induced births, yes, I am nervous about going down this road again. My first birth was pretty much a piece of cake, I walked away feeling like I could do it again. After the birth of my son which was shorter but so much more intense I didn't feel nearly as confident. I'm hoping this time around my body kicks itself into labor. I'd like to have a much different birth experience this time around.
Not really, fortunately. My last birth was fantastic. Up until I hit 8 cm I was like "hey, this natural stuff isn't bad". And then the last 2 cm were intense, but only lasted an hour and I could easily keep in perspective that it was good pain that was going to bring me my baby. So I know I can do it again. I didn't actually panic last time until I was pushing! LOL!
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Exactly! I really think the problem I ran into was that although I'd done a ton of reading and mental rehearsing of what labor might be like, I never once considered what pushing/crowning might be like. Of course most people I know pushed for 1+ hours but for some reason I thought the baby would come out in two pushes or something. I never considered what it would be like to push 10+ times (I pushed for 1.5 hours); never considered what it might feel like to have the baby move down. That's my biggest regret because it was the only time I was angry/frustrated/overwhelmed/etc. Up until that point I labored alone (DH was around but not hovering) and I was perfectly fine. I hope this time will be better since I'm prepared but then again the memories of all those feelings are hard to get past.
Originally Posted by Vortexing Yes, I realized this AFTER transition, when it was time to push... I'm a freaking scientist, I realize how babies are born and I STILL panicked when I got to the pushing part.
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From experience I can tell you that pushing only twice is pretty freaky too. Both times I went from high and floating to out in less than a half hour. WIth actual pushing being less than 10 minutes. Freaky.
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Originally Posted by dogmom327 Of course most people I know pushed for 1+ hours but for some reason I thought the baby would come out in two pushes or something. I never considered what it would be like to push 10+ times (I pushed for 1.5 hours); never considered what it might feel like to have the baby move down. |
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Yes, I am afraid. I have long labours and I didn't take any pain meds. My second baby took me almost 3 hours to push out.
I just keep telling myself it will be worth it and trying not to think about it too much.
I just keep telling myself it will be worth it and trying not to think about it too much.
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Im excited!! This is only my second natural birth, I remember thinking with dd that I didn't know what it felt like, so how can I really prepare. . This time around I know what it feels like and I plan on using Hypnobabies. I started it last time but we moved in the last month so it kind of got pushed to the side. The affirmations CD was awesome and Im excited to listen to it again. Plus this time I am running so that is suppose to make things easier (hopefully
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Maybe you just need a game plan to deal with the pain. Try something you haven't before. Read lots of happy birth stories and stay positive about it.
Maybe you just need a game plan to deal with the pain. Try something you haven't before. Read lots of happy birth stories and stay positive about it.
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Afraid here too! My second birth was a VBAC. I was so focused on actually doing it, I didn't let the fear get to me at all. I had ZERO pain until 10cms, transition and my water breaking when I absolutely lost my mind. I pushed for 1.5 hours and it was excrutiating. Probably an ideal birth for most women but I screamed the whole time, NEVER AGAIN! Yet, here I am again. Now I KNOW what's in store and I'm petrified! I did hypnobirthing on my own but I think I need a professional to get me over this hurdle! So good to hear I'm not the only one! I LOVE this board!
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I'm really excited about this baby's birth. After two hospital births I'm planning for UP/UC and I'm in a totally different mental place. I've been reading lots of fantastic UC stories and I feel like I'm headed into a really fantastic journey.
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well, now I am....only a little. I know it is going to be super painful, but I am so determined to have a successful vbac that I am hoping the pain will solidify the fact that I am having a real, natural birth! I might look into hypnobirthing, because of this thread, but so far I am just excited to do it!
I'm hoping to rely on my yoga breathing, and the fact that last time I dialated to 7 cm before the c section. Although after reading this post, that was NOTHING compared to the pushing and crowning!
I'm hoping to rely on my yoga breathing, and the fact that last time I dialated to 7 cm before the c section. Although after reading this post, that was NOTHING compared to the pushing and crowning!
well i have to say you ladies have given me some perspective. 3 or more hours of pushing!!! wow!~im a 2 pushes and out they come kind of birther. i think dd took 4 or 5 pushes and i started to panic at how SLOW it was. i thought something was wrong! i have been trying not to think on it too much. i think part of the problem is that labor and delivery is so fast that my natural pain killers never kick in. dds 45 minte birth was fairly painless untill the last 10 minutes of contractions and then the 4 pushes and really, the pushing was great! such a relief. it was the contractions that hurt like crazy. well the lucky thing is that i have 30 more weeks to get ready for it. woo hoo!
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