[chrysalis]

is anyone else single and pregnant out there? i'm just feeling so cruddy lately and lonely...not that i didn't when i was w/ my ex fiance... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> i'm getting close to birthing this boy and i'm just feeling...weird. a lot of emotions stirring in my heart/mind and it gets overwhelming. sigh....... i don't even know what i'm feeling today. yesterday i couldn't stop crying.......probably hormones mostly but oh man. today i just feel numb. in my DDC all the mamas there seem to have someone... just sometimes gets to me that there are all these DH's and SO's and re. me, its just...me. (well my megh too but you know what i mean...). i know this is a wahhhhhhhh wahhhh post. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: i just am in a strange state of mind. want to know i'm not alone out here full of baby and no man who loves me. (not that that makes me more of a woman/mother/person.......it just hurts sometimes...)

 

[MsChatsAlot]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I'm not pregnant now...but I was single and pregnant years ago. I remember feeling all sorts of things, especially at the end. I remember feeling scared & nervous, angry and sad. A real mixed bag.<br><br>
When I did give birth, it was wonderful. I felt so empowered and alive and was so grateful for the experience and my beautiful son. I still look back and remember how great it felt to show myself and the world I could really do this.<br><br>
I'm sending love and support to you right now. If you are able to, find something special for yourself right now.

 

[happyhippiemama]

I'm partnered now, but I was single when pregnant with DD.<br><br>
I remember simultaneously feeling "wahoo, look at me, I can do this all by myself, and I'm doing an <i>amazing job</i> at it" and "boo-hoo, this sucks, why do <i>I have to be</i> the one doing this alone?"<br><br>
sending you love and thoughts.

 

[Avani]

Last year i was. I kept leaving my abusive ex and kept going back because he threatened to have me commited to a mental institution and have our kids taken away. On the day i birthed my 5th child he ignored me and then left for a court hearing that was in another town over an hour away. Here is my birth story just scroll through the posts by me and you can follow my labor <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=546242" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=546242</a><br><br>
I have been now raising 5 kids on my own and it is empowering and scary but so worth it to not have that monster around anymore!I'm here for you!

 

[thismama]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"> Single and pregnant over here! I also have a 4 year old daughter. She has an active father, but after all the drama he and I had, I'm going solo mama with this next one. I'm really excited!

 

[Rainbow2911]

I was there this time last year. I remember it was such an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I was happy and excited, the next I was a weepy mess. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br>
One thing that always made me cry was reading 'birthing from within'. There is so much in there about fathers being involved and essential for this birth, and sweet little anecdotes about foot baths. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I think there is one line in the book about single mothers saying how they will have someone else to support them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Well I didn't. Grr. We need our own book and if my brain ever comes out of hibernation maybe I'll write one!<br>
I think I got worse towards the birth. I figured that there are probably loads of instincts priming you to seek protection and get the father ready to provide around that time. I don't think my hormones had quite caught up with the realities of modern life. For me it was much better after my little guy was born. My moods stabilised and I had him to occupy me (not that I wasn't quite busy with the other two before....).<br>
I hope you feel better soon.

 

[dharmagrlpa]

Single and pregnant over here!<br><br>
I have my good days and bad...but very lucky because I recently moved in with my mother and she's going to help me for a year or so.<br><br>
It's sad sometimes that I don't have a partner to share this joy with,but I had a horrible split with my fiance a little over a year ago and still have a lot of pain around it. My pregnancy stemmed from a rebound relationship with someone who lives out of town and is unable to participate in my babys life.<br><br>
So, definitly single over here....<br><br>
Just finding the beauty wherever I can!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">

 

[trinity6232000]

I left dd's dad when I was pregnant and my emotions were all over the place. I couldn't handle reading or<br>
researching my birth because of every mention of the father or partner sent me over the edge. I took no<br>
birthing classes, nothing, I went into birth completely blind. I wish I was stronger then, it would have helped<br>
me so much, BUT my birth was amazing so in the end I was really happy with the result.<br><br>
I want you to know your not alone. In those times when you feel alone, remember that many have been<br>
where you have been, and YOU CAN DO THIS! I know that my pregnancy and birth experience would have<br>
been totally different if I hadn't broken things off with dd's dad. It would have been hell. I didn't enjoy being<br>
alone, but I don't know if I could have stayed healthy being in that relationship and being pregnant.<br><br>
Please express all these feelings, if not IRL with friends, come here and vent. I kept so much inside during<br>
my dd's first year of life. I didn't want to express anything that wasn't positive because I didn't want people<br>
to think I was weak. I was convinced some where inside that if I told anybody how I felt that they would say<br>
"well that's what happens when you get pregnant and you leave the father", and I know now nobody would<br>
have said that.<br><br>
My PPD turned into PTSD which lead to an extreme fear of leaving my house. All the stress I felt I kept inside<br>
and it was only a matter of time before it affected my life.<br><br>
I hope you come back over and over and allow us to support you and listen to all your feelings, happy, sad, or lonely.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[Viewfinder]

Chrysalis, allow yourself to feel and see all of the mothers through all of time who are with you, who birthed you and all of the other mothers to grow up and be mothers ourselves. They are WITH you in the form of the nurses and doctors you'll work with, they are WITH you in the roof over your head, they will be WITH you in the delivery room, ancestral faces gazing lovingly on you, seeing the evolution of humanity that we are all a part of, their mothering arms entwined in a protective, nurturing circle around you and any and all attendants to the birthing...<br><br>
You are surrounded... you are known, your anticipation is known, your joy is known, your anguish and lonliness and fears are known--your every feeling as you come closer to giving birth is known by every mother before you who has experienced that singular power of giving birth. All mothers give birth by ourselves... it is our one absolutely solitary adventure... while at the same time absolutely binding you to the evolution of all life. Wow. You are so <i>not</i> alone right now. Never have you been so completely WITH everyone and everything. You are AT ONE with <i>all of life</i>.<br><br>
Look in this direction, this kind of thinking about what you are experiencing, and give this to your daughter, as well, for she is learning from you right now what it is to embrace motherhood; give birth to a new life...<br><br>
and, what about listening to what your daughter says and thinks about the new baby coming? Maybe take a cue from the wonder and joy that she is probably feeling...<br><br>
You are magnificent in your pregnancy, like Mary, if you will (I'm not even religious, but, the story, you know, resonates.) You carry forth a new life into the world, maybe a life that will unfold perfectly because of who you are right now, and what your life is, right now. This baby chose you. Answer 'yes, I'm the right mom at the right time in the right situation for this baby.'<br><br>
You're in the circle.<br><br>
VF

 

[happyhippiemama]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Viewfinder</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9760952"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Chrysalis, allow yourself to feel and see all of the mothers through all of time who are with you, who birthed you and all of the other mothers to grow up and be mothers ourselves. They are WITH you in the form of the nurses and doctors you'll work with, they are WITH you in the roof over your head, they will be WITH you in the delivery room, ancestral faces gazing lovingly on you, seeing the evolution of humanity that we are all a part of, their mothering arms entwined in a protective, nurturing circle around you and any and all attendants to the birthing...<br><br>
You are surrounded... you are known, your anticipation is known, your joy is known, your anguish and lonliness and fears are known--your every feeling as you come closer to giving birth is known by every mother before you who has experienced that singular power of giving birth. All mothers give birth by ourselves... it is our one absolutely solitary adventure... while at the same time absolutely binding you to the evolution of all life. Wow. You are so <i>not</i> alone right now. Never have you been so completely WITH everyone and everything. You are AT ONE with <i>all of life</i>.<br><br>
Look in this direction, this kind of thinking about what you are experiencing, and give this to your daughter, as well, for she is learning from you right now what it is to embrace motherhood; give birth to a new life...<br><br>
and, what about listening to what your daughter says and thinks about the new baby coming? Maybe take a cue from the wonder and joy that she is probably feeling...<br><br>
You are magnificent in your pregnancy, like Mary, if you will (I'm not even religious, but, the story, you know, resonates.) You carry forth a new life into the world, maybe a life that will unfold perfectly because of who you are right now, and what your life is, right now. This baby chose you. Answer 'yes, I'm the right mom at the right time in the right situation for this baby.'<br><br>
You're in the circle.<br><br>
VF</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Dammit VF you made me cry.<br><br>
I love you, you know. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:

 

[Iris' Mom]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>happyhippiemama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9761047"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Dammit VF you made me cry.<br><br>
I love you, you know. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yes, this was really beautiful. A friend said something similar to me when I found out I was pregnant as my marriage was falling apart, and every day, I look at my kids, especially my baby (6 mos.) I'm reminded how true it is.

 

[Tina Marie]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dharmagrlpa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9760314"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Single and pregnant over here!<br><br>
I have my good days and bad...but very lucky because I recently moved in with my mother and she's going to help me for a year or so.<br><br>
It's sad sometimes that I don't have a partner to share this joy with,but I had a horrible split with my fiance a little over a year ago and still have a lot of pain around it. My pregnancy stemmed from a rebound relationship with someone who lives out of town and is unable to participate in my babys life.<br><br>
So, definitly single over here....<br><br>
Just finding the beauty wherever I can!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
this is me too, except I'm not moving until the first of the year. Right now it really sucks, because part of my family talks like I need a man in my life to make it work <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: but look where having a man got me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I can ignore people, but what really gets to me is when I look at the baby books and baby things, and see the stuff that says daddy on it. I feel guilty for not begging the pos ex to stay, even though I know me and the baby are WAY better off without him here. I can't help but worry about if I'll be good enough. Just know you aren't alone, and no matter if it's hormones or whatever, I'm always here with an available ear.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[trinity6232000]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Viewfinder</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9760952"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Chrysalis, allow yourself to feel and see all of the mothers through all of time who are with you, who birthed you and all of the other mothers to grow up and be mothers ourselves. They are WITH you in the form of the nurses and doctors you'll work with, they are WITH you in the roof over your head, they will be WITH you in the delivery room, ancestral faces gazing lovingly on you, seeing the evolution of humanity that we are all a part of, their mothering arms entwined in a protective, nurturing circle around you and any and all attendants to the birthing...<br><br>
You are surrounded... you are known, your anticipation is known, your joy is known, your anguish and lonliness and fears are known--your every feeling as you come closer to giving birth is known by every mother before you who has experienced that singular power of giving birth. All mothers give birth by ourselves... it is our one absolutely solitary adventure... while at the same time absolutely binding you to the evolution of all life. Wow. You are so <i>not</i> alone right now. Never have you been so completely WITH everyone and everything. You are AT ONE with <i>all of life</i>.<br><br>
Look in this direction, this kind of thinking about what you are experiencing, and give this to your daughter, as well, for she is learning from you right now what it is to embrace motherhood; give birth to a new life...<br><br>
and, what about listening to what your daughter says and thinks about the new baby coming? Maybe take a cue from the wonder and joy that she is probably feeling...<br><br>
You are magnificent in your pregnancy, like Mary, if you will (I'm not even religious, but, the story, you know, resonates.) You carry forth a new life into the world, maybe a life that will unfold perfectly because of who you are right now, and what your life is, right now. This baby chose you. Answer 'yes, I'm the right mom at the right time in the right situation for this baby.'<br><br>
You're in the circle.<br><br>
VF</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"> wow, just wow, and thanks for writing this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">

 

[chrysalis]

i'm speechless. so very touched by all that all of you mamas have written... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: thank you from my very soul.

 

[Mommyofalmost6]

Hi, I lurk here as a single mama but I saw your thread and wanted you to know you arent alone. I am single and pregnant. My ex and I dont speak. He left because I refused to give my baby up for adoption. While I know we are better off without him, it still sucks. We all have good days and bad, I try and stay in the frame of mind that its making more good days then bad that counts. This is my 4th. None of the kids have an active father though the oldes twos dad is the most involved. Nikholas father hasnt spoke to me since march.<br><br>
It is hard. You can do it. It will be ok. It does suck when it seems everyone else has someone. It is ok to feel hurt, angrey and many other emotions over that.<br><br>
Just remember you are not truly alone. *hugs*

 

[sapientia]

HI, single and pg, here with my fifth. The person I thought would be here is moving out...so...yeah. Doing this alone.

 

[Captain_Crunch]

<span style="font-family:Georgia;">Yup, I'm single and 30 weeks pregnant. Initally, I told him that if he wanted to be involved that was great but if not, well, that was okay too.We agreed that even if he wasn't involved in the baby's everyday life that didn't mean that he couldn't have a role in his life, I haven't spoken to him since. And I really was okay with it...until about a week ago.<br><br>
I don't know what triggered it but I so want him to be a part of his son's life, I don't really see anything happening between us because there is no <i>us</i>... there never was. I keep daydreaming about him being there when Little Guy is born. I've tried to contact him a couple times through text but I've gotten no reply, I'm trying to work up the courage to actually call him (I hate talking on the phone).</span>

 

[maiat]

I was single and pregnant by choice last year. My dd was born in April and I'm still single. It is hard but you know what? Listening to my friends with babies and partners often makes me glad I'm single! There are advantages to being able to do it your own way and not have to deal with a partner's issues, hang-ups, shortcomings, etc. I do hope to have a loving, functional relationship one day, but in the meantime, I'm doing my best to take care of myself and my baby and to enjoy motherhood to the fullest.<br>
Sometimes I re-read the "why I love being a single mother" sticky on this forum when I need fortitude. The gratitude thread is good too.<br><br>
Hang in there. There are lots of us out there.

 

[poisonedapple]

I'm pregnant and separated from my husband. As I'm up late puking into the night, and still caring for my kids, I think "he sucks!" but in the end I am so grateful for this new blessing, that even if raising FOUR (holy cow!) kids alone is my path, I'm up for the challenge.<br><br>
It's so hard though emotionally. I don't have someone to get me a craving, I don't have someone to listen to my fears of the pregnancy/birth and the risks I have. I have to just suck it up and say, it will be ok... it's not the same. As the baby grows and I see visible signs of the baby and feel it kick, I know Ill get more sad that the baby will never know his/her father as the other kids did.<br><br>
Nothing is the same as with the others, where I had a loving husband for support, I'm now alone. makes me sad. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I feel ya sista. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I do better when I tell myself - no self pity - lol, it keeps me focused on my kids I have. Who knows what's around the next bend in life.

 

[MamalovesCadence]

I'm not pregnant, but I just wanted to send some hugs your way! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">