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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am struggling SO much with weight this time. It's almost consuming me some days- not to the point of acting in any extreme way, but just that I think about it CONSTANTLY. I know that the general attitude on Mothering is to not worry about it as long as it's healthy weight, but this is so much more than that for me.

I've gained 45-50lbs with each of my 4 previous pregnancies- no GD, no other complications, and my mom always gained around 40-45 so I assume it has to do with that. I tend to gain at the same rate (I chart it each time), and it happens no matter how well I eat or how much I work out. So I should just accept it's what my body needs, right? Not so easy.

The last time it DEFINITELY felt like too much (even though it was by far my healthiest pregnancy and baby yet!!). I just FELT the weight so much more! And then of course, each time I've started off about 5lbs heavier than the previous times. This past baby, it took me over 2 years to lose most of it, and it was a big battle and I worked very hard.

I'm 5'7"ish and started this time at 153. It "fits" my body type (I've never been overweight or struggled with weight until recently, and even then it's not a lot...but enough to affect me), but it was still over what I knew was my "target" weight. I'm up 9lbs already at almost 17 weeks...again, on track to gain the same as every time.

Short of starving myself, I know I can't stop or slow it. (and no worries, that's definitely not a concern....I have to pay attention to how much/what I eat because I definitely have a sweet tooth) But it's SO hard for me to accept. I know that the battle before this pregnancy is definitely playing a part. But then there is the fact that this is my first summer baby, so I can't just layer clothing to cover it all up, and I already lack a TON of self esteem as it is. I've got a very poor body image.

Can anyone relate? Maybe I should put this on the main board for a larger audience, because I'm seriously struggling with this, mentally and physically, and could use some support.

On a similar note, if any of you are there, how have you come to the point of embracing your "mother" body? I guess having never been confident in my body growing up, that's carried over to my adult life. I see other moms who are several sizes larger than they were when we were younger (pre-babies) and they seem to be completely confident. I want that attitude so badly. I just don't know how to come to terms with it, or where exactly the root of the problem is. It's not as if I've any desire to impress the opposite sex other than my hubby (and my husband, for one has never, ever made me feel bad about my body!). I guess I just want to feel good, but I'm not even sure what that is, for me.
 

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I am so sorry you're struggling. From what you wrote I think this has nothing to do with pregnancy weight gain and everything to do with the inevitable changes your body experiences through having children. Especially if you didn't start with a strong foundation of body confidence, it's not going to take much to shake you to your core.

I don't have exactly this issue but I can relate. For me I feel amazing while pregnant- sexy and powerful and totally myself in a way I never feel otherwise. I'm always the most stylish and put-together and confident while pregnant. Postpartum is another story. I have had a terrible time embracing the changes my body experiences post-baby. The loss of my once-glorious boobs, the stretch marks on my hips and mom butt... I mean I could go on and on. I still look the same in clothes but otherwise... Not.

The hardest things for me to handle has been how much my face has changed. Maybe it's natural aging, hormones, years of sleep deprivation... All of it. But my face looks SO different now. I used to do a lot of modeling and had tons of confidence in my looks. Now, I feel like I look like a mix between my grandma and my dad.

But this isn't supposed to be a thread where we can bash ourselves. There's enough of that. For me, I feel like my daughter will inherit how I feel about myself, no matter how much I try to hide it. I think the bottom line is that the changes in my body/face are not the problem. My husband doesn't even know wtf I'm talking about and others say I look exactly the same. So the issue is my thoughts, and believing them. Same with you. You don't know how your body actually looks. You're suffering because you're believing your thoughts. And your thoughts about this are lies. I promise no woman truly knows how she looks. I think the best thing that you can do is ignore the thoughts when they come up. Don't try to change them or "think positive" - just totally ignore them. They rob you of the joy and beauty in your life, and for what? For a bunch of lies.

If you feel uncomfortable I think that is valid- I don't have a ton of suggestions for that other than staying active and as cool as you can, but hopefully your midwife/doctor and others can help. Hugs.
 

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1babysmom, your post describes me to a T (I'm 5'6 1/2 and my pre-pregnancy weight is normally 140 lbs). This is my fourth pregnancy and I gain about 45-50 pounds for each pregnancy (All normal pregnancies and all healthy babies). For my last pregnancy, I was gluten, dairy and soy free. I never ate out and still gained the same amount of weight. I usually gain about a pound a week, even in the first trimester. It took 16 months to get all of the weight off from my first pregnancy and two years for the second one. Since I became pregnant when my 3rd was only 14 months old, I went into this pregnancy ten pounds heavier than I am normally am.

I feel much bigger, much sooner, this time around which at times has made me rather depressed. I know the number is only going to get higher and higher in the next 5 months and I'm probably going to gain another 30 pounds or so no matter what I do. However, I also know that I am going to have a beautiful baby when this is all over and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Whenever I get upset, I just think of my kids and I think of how blessed I am to have them. I also think that if I could get the weight off before, then I can do it again.

I also tend to feel better about my body, when I put effort into my clothes and hair. I look so much better with a nice haircut and new maternity clothes (nothing fancy, just some stuff from Target). I seem to look thinner in the newer maternity designs than I did in the old designs.

Another thing that has helped is that I do not weigh myself at home anymore. The weight comes on like clockwork, and at this point... I really don't want to know the number!

Just keep telling yourself that this is only temporary. Your body knows what it is doing, so just have faith in it. Tell yourself that in a couple of years you'll be back to your pre-pregnancy weight and that you'll be stronger for having gone through this. You'll also have an amazing new child, which is truly priceless. (At least that's what I keep telling myself!)
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you both. It is certainly helpful to talk this over!
@WASarah, I think that's part of my battle...is that I don't know if it WILL come off or not. After my battle with it this last time, I just don't know what will end up sticking around. So I guess the unknown is part of what I'm probably struggling with.

And the clothes...I definitely feel better fixed up, I agree! But I've never been able to find my personal "style", and so I don't know what looks good on me, what to avoid, etc, other than my own guesses (and I feel like I'm always wrong).

I am SO glad this ends in a baby to snuggle because otherwise I'd be a lot worse off. LOL But really though, it makes me feel so guilty for complaining about my weight issues when this baby was so longed for and we struggled a bit to get it here. I know I should just be happy I'm pregnant, but I just want to FEEL good too. As I mentioned, last time, even though I technically should have gained the least of all my pregnancies (being at my healthiest), the weight felt like TOO much. Then it stuck around much longer. So it just kind of frustrates me to know that no matter how many recommendations I follow or whatever it might be, they don't seem to work for me. Kinda just leaves me feeling lost, I guess?
 

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1babysmom, These last few days have really been a struggle. I feel "huge" and at times, it's really depressed me. I don't think it helps that I've been feeling very overwhelmed with kids, homeschooling and housework. I feel like my energy level and size are holding me back. Not to mention that we are living in Texas now and it's really hot! I've been wearing a lot of shorts lately and unfortunately, they just don't look like. I wore jeans for most of my other pregnancies, because my kids were born in the winter. At least, with jeans I felt covered up. Now I feel like my cellulite is on display for the whole world to see!

I hope you're feeling better this week...
 

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I have struggled, struggled, struggled with my wieght. I started this pregnancy at 193, and the idea of hitting 200 scares me. I lost a little more than 10lbs in my first trimester (due to food aversions and morning sickness), though, so maybe it won't happen.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I've been doing "okay" since I wrote this, mostly just because I've plateaued from that day and haven't gone over EXCEPT on Wednesday when I was supposed to see my midwife, I jumped up one lb (go figure)...but then I dropped back down Thursday and was the same today. At least when I emailed her (we had to reschedule for next week) she got the 1lb higher version so that gives me some wiggle room until next week. Ha. I kinda told her I was struggling a lot with weight issues, and she said "...I imagine it's more than you're used to at this point." But nope. I'm hoping I'll get her to understand me better when I see her in person Wednesday. I graphed out my weight with each pregnancy (same graph, even though they were all different starting weights, just so I could show her the rate at which I gain, which is VERY similar each time). I am actually in the middle right now for how MUCH I've gained at this point (with baby #4 , I was 3lbs higher in gain at 18 weeks, and with baby #1 I was about 1.5lbs higher in gain at 18 weeks...BUT, I started out 16lbs heavier than I was with #1 and 5lbs heavier than I was with #4 ! Granted...baby #1 was nearly 11 years ago, and I was 19 years old, so I guess I should stop comparing myself to that one...). But so far all my pregnancies rise at the same right and just keep going up, up, up from here on out. And UP in big ways. And just knowing what I've done with all of them (and that was BEFORE I struggled to get weight off my body), doesn't leave me feeling like I'll be able to change anything this time.

I am worried about warm weather clothes, too. Mostly with my arms...I HATE my arms. At least I can wear capris and maxi skirts to cover my thighs, and my ugly varicose veins for the most part. But if I don't want nasty pit sweat showing through all my tops this summer (I sweat a lot! Boo!) then I am pretty much confined to tanks. I feel like I can minimize the arm flab with racerback tops, but that forces me to find a decent sports bra so I don't have that bra strap look...but I cannot find a good sports bra for my band/cup size to save my life (34DD/DDD) and during pregnancy, with all that changing, I don't even want to bother!

Such silly, stupid things to focus on, when I write it all out, but it's amazing how much this stuff eats at me on a daily basis. I really wish I could come to a point of realizing that my mommy body isn't bad, it's not even THAT much different from what I was before, and I REALLY wish I could figure out why I care (because honestly, I'm about as far from desiring to impress people as I can get! LOL). You'd think that 4 kids in and many, many other pregnancies along the way that I'd be past all of this.
 

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Hey there I was also struggling with weight and was having cellulite on my thighs and buttocks, which was very embarrassing for me then on my friend's recommendation, I started following a body challenge guide along with proper diet which helped me to manage my weight and also helped me to reduce cellulite. You can view online for such kind of guide fitness to reduce weight.
 
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