Ok- this it just one opinion, but I LOVE it. I have 2 boys, 18 months apart. I think if I had it to do over again I would space them a little farther. Probably closer to 2 years. Although I really really love how close they are in age now (the younges is almost 11 months) in the beginning 3 months it was very challenging and I felt like a horrid mother (for all the reasons you described, stretched too thin, exhausted, et al). Right now though it is fabulous and they are best buddies and it is actually easier than having one kid. Again, just my opinion.
One thing I would recommend is starting to practice delayed gratification with your son. If he wants something, try telling him "in one minute, mommy's busy" and finish what you are doing first instead of dropping everything to run to him. You do not have to ignore his needs, but if you teach him that he can wait patiently for a few seconds and then give him your full attention, you will be well ahead of the game when the second baby arrives. If you are nursing you might need to tell the older child to wait and that you'll help him in a minute. Just a thought.
Somone once told me the following and I thought it was very accurate, "One child takes up 100% of your time, so you may as well have more!"
One last thing- I honestly loved my first son so much that I couldn't imagine that I would ever love another child like that. I was worried that I would feel differently about them. But it is amazing how much love we have to give and I adore both my kids. I never could have forseen how much I would just love them.
Good luck with the decision!
One thing I would recommend is starting to practice delayed gratification with your son. If he wants something, try telling him "in one minute, mommy's busy" and finish what you are doing first instead of dropping everything to run to him. You do not have to ignore his needs, but if you teach him that he can wait patiently for a few seconds and then give him your full attention, you will be well ahead of the game when the second baby arrives. If you are nursing you might need to tell the older child to wait and that you'll help him in a minute. Just a thought.
Somone once told me the following and I thought it was very accurate, "One child takes up 100% of your time, so you may as well have more!"
One last thing- I honestly loved my first son so much that I couldn't imagine that I would ever love another child like that. I was worried that I would feel differently about them. But it is amazing how much love we have to give and I adore both my kids. I never could have forseen how much I would just love them.
Good luck with the decision!