[kbridi]

So i went to get my hair cut...one of the only times I've left DS in his 7 months on earth. I came home and dh was out on the deck frusterated beyond belief and ds was screaming in his jumperoo. I don't know how long dh left him in there, but he said he was screaming the entire time.

I know dh his traumatized, but do you think ds is? Is this going to scar him? I never leave him cry and I'm afraid to ask how long he was crying...

Does anyone else have a baby they can't leave? Is it my fault? I don't know what to do.

On top of it all, the haircut is bad.

 

[alybeans]

First of all

I'm sure DS is not scared for life. I left Aly with my Mom to get a hair cut a few months ago and she screamed for the last 15 mintues that I was gone. I felt so terrible but she's fine. This is a tough age as far as seperation anxiety goes so don't worry too much. You will be able to leave him before you know it. You may want to start leaving him for short periods to begin with and slowly increase the amount of time you're gone. I've been doimg this lately and she's doing really well with it and now barely notices when I leave, good luck!

 

[birdie22]

The same thing has happened to me and ds. DH stays home with him 3 evenings per week while I WOH. Some nights I have come home to find two very upset guys; ds because he wants me and dh because ds doesn't want him. DH is very loving and AP, but on a few occasions he has had to step away and collect himself b/c ds was having a meltdown.

Other times, I come home and find them laughing together, or ds happily drinking from a bottle. Sometimes I even feel a little jealous.

Try not to worry too much. A 7 mo is more resilient than a newborn, and one episode of crying is not going to break down the trust that you have built. All you can do is the best you can. I think that our babies can tell that Dad is there, and he's not going to let anything bad happen, even though ds might be crying because he would rather have Mommy instead.

It might take some time before you can leave your baby again, but it's because of the natural separation anxiety that goes with this age.

Try to spend lots of time with your dh and baby, having fun together. This will rebuild both their confidence. After all, your dh was probably more traumatized by the episode than your ds!

 

[mum2tori]

I agree that DH is probably more traumatized at this point than DS.

I don't think that one episode as permanately damaged your DS. They are amazingly resilient. And this isn't your "fault". Right now is a common seperation anxiety time for them. Between 7-10 months.

I also agree with starting a few short seperations, even if its a case where you don't necessarily leave the house but are out of sight from DS for a little while. He does need the comfort bond with DH too. It can take a little bit of time.

Sorry to hear about the bad haircut on top of it.

 

[kbridi]

Thank you all for your support. Both have recovered -- and I think I have too.
I'm going to do what you all suggested and try and step away for short periods of time...maybe I'll take a shower or try and take a nap without DS.

And I found out he was in the jumperoo for about 10 minutes crying. That's better than I thought...(not that I would ever let him cry for 10 minute, but it's much better than an hour).

Thanks again!