Is it easier with two?

I have 2 and apparently from all the people I talk to it's easier with 3 (or any increment after that)

the other bit of wisdom I've heard is that the adjustment from 1-2 is a great as from 0-1.

my dd is 3 1/2 and ds is 7months. I am still trying to adjust. mostly I'm trying to remember that there are tons of people who manage 2. but I think it's the APing that can make it difficult.

most challenging: when they both need to be held. not napping at the same time. when the oldest hasn't napped and is supercranky. bedtime if dh forgets to be super AP dad. and not being able to give the older child exactly what I think she needs because I'm holding/nursing an infant.
(sorry my challenging list is long it's been a long day and a long week)

I think easier comes when they're a bit older and their needs get met in similar ways

I have to add that I think at least 3years is a great space. my girlfriends that have infants with a 2 year old have it much tougher.

Can you define what you mean by 'easier'?

If 'easier' means less work, less worry, and more fun (at least in the initial stages), I'd say anyone who says it's 'easier' either has amnesia or they're pulling your leg a bit.

If 'easier' means that you become more efficient, more pragmatic, and that the kids can maybe eventually entertain each other *when they are older* (therefore in theory giving you more time to do your things), and that you get to experience the joy of discovering that yes, you do indeed have enough love in you to give 100 percent to each child...then yes, it's easier.

The latter doesn't fit my definition of 'easy'.

It's different with two or more. It really really REALLY depends on the child(ren). None of my kids (at this point) are high needs, so I am not dealing with that. But because of the twin factor and the close-together factor there is no way in hell I would say that this is easier than when I just had Fiona.

It might be an interesting question, to ask your mom what she meant when she says it's easier with more than one. Always helps to define your terms.

Mine are almost 4 years apart, and it isn't any easier, per se, than when we just had 1, but not so so much harder, either! Most challenging was when they were both crying at the same time in the early weeks--egad! And then the next hard time was when Baby started moving around a lot--having to keep an eye on 2 moving children when you are just one mama can be a challenge--esp. out in public. Libraries are particularly challenging!

I am way more relaxed this time around, so that helps. Having my older one be so capable & self sufficient (relatively) when the baby was born was good, too. He was out of dipes, could dress himself, etc. And also, could run and get thing for the baby.

I think for the most part, your second CHILD can be easier than your first, because you are more experienced & just have to "let things go" a little more than you did the first time. So, maybe having 2 isn't easier, but the child itself may be (not always, of course). Make sense?

We're all scared at first, then, before you know it, you are all settled in with 2 kids and you can't imagine it any other way! There is no magic formula--it'll work out fine & you'll all get through it!

I think that being an AP parent makes having more than one child more demanding than for those Ezzo types for example.
When you're an AP type parent it really bothers you if you're not able to meet your childs' needs, and sometimes when you have more than one child it's darn near impossible to meet everyone's needs all the time try as you may. kwim? We tandem nursed, have a family bed, and held each of them at the same time often (you should see my muscles )....
BUT going the extra mile and sticking to your committment to AP parenting pays off infinitely.
I think having more than one (I have two dds ages 4 and
2 1/2) is "easier" in the sense that they entertain each other. So right now, for example, as I type this they are playing together.
But to any extent that having more than one is "easier" I ASSURE you the dues are paid early on, especially if they're close in age! Whoosh. I relate to how a previous post said the first two years are a blur. It's just non-non-non-stop.
I like to read that going from 2 to 3 is less of a transition. That's comforting.
And if you're doubting that you are ready to bring another child into the family then pay attention to your instincts and wait!
Don't figure that "well, if they can do it then we can do it" as I've heard others say.

Thank you all so much, this has become a wonderful thread. I guess my question should've been is it a lot harder, rather than easier, b/c I don't really think about it being easier, just so hard that I am so stressed out for those first two years that I am miserable. and hence the children would be as well.
At times I think maybe I should just have one, and then when I think about it, I can't imagine only having one, and not giving my dd a sibling, I had four and I don't know what I would do without my sisters. I guess I just want my life to calm down a bit before we conceive and then the prospect of having a baby won't be so daunting.

But I think I am getting there. I feel like I am nine months pregnant the way I am running around trying to set up our lives and home so it will ready :LOL
And I also think I am overanalyzing it. I'm sure it will be different than I expected no matter how prepared I am.

My kids are two years apart, and I personally found the transition from 1kid to 2 kids much, much easier than from 0-1. I don't know what my parenting style is, probably not AP and definitely not Ezzo. I also should say that it depends on the children's personalities as well, DD(5) lives her life like the Energizer Bunny on stimulants, mercifully DS(3) is more calm, but also much more cautious and easily frightened. I also think that having 2 does not equal double the work, otherwise people would never have large families. If you are running the bath, you don't need to do it twice, just put both kids in. If you are making sandwiches, or toast, or setting up to paint pictures, or whatever, you don't have to do everything twice, just make one more with everything that's already out of the cupboard. The Baby Bjorn sling was a great help when DS was a newborn, I just took them both everywhere. I didn't worry even one-tenth as much as I did with the first (DD had health issues as a newborn, much more stress). I have to say that although my kids play together very, very well, I do feel like I need to be the deputy sherriff a lot of days, and that can be draining.

I have to confess, we kinda decided to have two kids just so the first one wouldn't be an only child. This prolly violates every rule about reasons to concieve, but I'm really, really glad we decided to have two. Most days they are an absolute delight, both individually and together.

IME

Yep! Absolutely easier. And I am an AP mama I found the first few weeks challenging with learning to BF a new little person, but I felt that way with #1 as well. It also helped tremendously that dd (who is my first) loved ds from the start and just happily participated in all the baby care

They are 18 months apart, and they have been best of friends, and constant entertainment/socialization for each other since ds was around 10-11 months, before that he was more like a doll to her

My life is truly so much easier right now with them having each other, that I am pregnant with #3. I have no problem meeting the needs of 2, when they are both crying, I can easily hold them both, and they end up cuddling each other as well, not pushing each other away from me which I thought they might.

It has to do with so many things, temperment of each child, your temperment, age difference, I think 18 months is easier than 3 years apart in a lot of ways, they play together well, and bathe together, can do most of the same things, etc.

I guess my experience may sound like I am exaggerating how easy it is, but it is just my experience, and it has been easier than when I only had one, now 3, not sure how easy/hard that will be, but I guess we'll find out in January

Good luck!

I did not take Mamakass to mean that formula = CIO. She was just giving examples. Aussiemom, I had to supplement with formula because of chronic low supply (loooong story)...most people I've encountered here understand that formula/BF does not make the mom.

I've been lurking here wondering about the question of 2 being "easier," which has been said to me. Most who say it mean that when the kids are older, they play together instead of with always asking Mom to be the playmate, as is the case here. With 2, Mom gets to do other things, at least for a bit, at least that's what they tell me. I can't see the early times being easier - I think people get amnesia for the chaos that seems inevitable to me. I know that's the case with my mother who had 2 under 3 and worked full-time plus in a family business.