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Here is my dilemna. I have a 16 month old dd w/ special needs and I have a 5 week old. There are several times during the day that they both need me at the same time. Since I am only one person, I try to pick which one needs me most and let the other one fuss for a few minutes. I don't know what else I can do. I can't hold dd #1 in my lap if dd #2 is in the sling, so that is out, alot of times I will sit on the couch and try to hold them both, but that isn't always possible either. So my question is if I have to put them down for a few minutes to take care of the other one and let her fuss for a few minutes, is that okay? I feel like a horrible mom, but I really don't know what else to do. If anyone has a good idea of how to better handle things I'd love to hear that too. Thanks.
 

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This was one of the things that made the transition from 1-2 kids the hardest for me. I couldn't be in 2 places at once, no matter how hard I tried and like you said, sometimes you just can't settle the situation for both at the same time. I did just like you, pick whichever issue is more pressing or which might be quickest and get it settled, then move on to the other one. The first 6 mos were the hardest- my first 2 are 23 mos apart.<br><br>
Just do the best you can, that's all you can do. When one of them is fussing while you're with the other, just keep reminding yourself that. It is very stressful to hear the fussing/crying, but if you're attending to it as best as you can, that's what you need to do.
 

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I agree that is one of the most difficult transitions from a singlet to multiple children. It was easier for me between 1-2 children because my oldest was 2 and I could "reason" with her a little bit about waiting "just a minute". It's been a little more difficult with 2-3. DS#1 and DS#2 are 18 months apart. Sometimes I will put DS#1's need first because he "comprehends" that he's not getting the attention but doesn't "reason" about waiting as well. DD has been helpful in trying to help soothe the other child for me. But I agree it's usually the one that is most pressing or quickest resolved who gets first attention. I also try to keep talking to the other child so that he can know that he isn't being ignored.<br><br>
While in an ideal world, every childs needs would be taken care of instantly... that isn't always the case. Try to not be hard on yourself. You are doing the best that you can. Both children are getting lots of love and attention. Sometimes its just not instantaneous.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Yes - it's inevitable with more than one child. It happened a lot with my older three - I had 3 under 3 for about 10 months and then again with the twins and Maddy was 2 when they were born. So there are rough moments - I also just go for whatever need is the most urgent (in extreme danger first, then hurt, then poopy, then hungry, then wet, then other things....). It's one of the hardest things about having multiple children - and having twin babies - because then neither understands.
 
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