sorry, i'm feeling a bit down and hopeless right now. i wish i wouldn't make myself crazy with this stuff but i do
dd will be 25 months on sunday and still no PPAF. i don't even feel like it's close anymore. i'm starting to freak myself out and wonder all kinds of crazy stuff i won't bore you all with. i know it's because dd's still nursing so much....but what if by some tiny chance it isn't?
will it take this long for PPAF to show up next time? i suppose i already know the answer but i'm hoping somebody will say "yes, each time she comes back sooner"
now i'm even starting to worry about not having enough time to have all the babies i'd like. i'm still pretty young, but dh is 10 years older and i doubt he'll be wanting to have babies in 10 years. so that's enough time for what, 2-3 more at most? why am i being so dramatic??? why is it so important to me to have a baby NOW??? why do i feel the need to have a lot of babies??? i only have one so far, i should wait and see how i feel after 2 or even 3. why can't i just accept the way things are and relax??? i know that the reason i'm not pregnant now is because it's not my time, and that when i do get pregnant, all this waiting and craziness will be worth it, but i just want to calm down and stop obsessing
well i guess this is really just a vent.......thanks for reading if you made it this far!

dd will be 25 months on sunday and still no PPAF. i don't even feel like it's close anymore. i'm starting to freak myself out and wonder all kinds of crazy stuff i won't bore you all with. i know it's because dd's still nursing so much....but what if by some tiny chance it isn't?
will it take this long for PPAF to show up next time? i suppose i already know the answer but i'm hoping somebody will say "yes, each time she comes back sooner"
now i'm even starting to worry about not having enough time to have all the babies i'd like. i'm still pretty young, but dh is 10 years older and i doubt he'll be wanting to have babies in 10 years. so that's enough time for what, 2-3 more at most? why am i being so dramatic??? why is it so important to me to have a baby NOW??? why do i feel the need to have a lot of babies??? i only have one so far, i should wait and see how i feel after 2 or even 3. why can't i just accept the way things are and relax??? i know that the reason i'm not pregnant now is because it's not my time, and that when i do get pregnant, all this waiting and craziness will be worth it, but i just want to calm down and stop obsessing

well i guess this is really just a vent.......thanks for reading if you made it this far!