[AnnMarie]

My kids' school is starting to get on my nerves. First I had an issue with the way a teacher may have disciplined my daughter. I wrote to her and asked her to clarify the situation and tell me her side. She wrote back what I feel was a very defensive letter. I wrote again telling her I agree with what she did except for if she really made a comment that my daughter said she did and I told her I feel my daughter should make it up to her and maybe stay after school to help her with something. There was more than that, but to make a long story short, I never heard back from the teacher. I expected a letter at least.

Next thing is the school had until September 19th to have my daughter's IEP in place. One of the teachers was sick so our meeting isn't until Oct. 1st for it now. That's ILLEGAL! They are wasting time and she's not doing very well in school.

Same daughter..... comes home with a permission slip to be taken out of class for reading help every day. Ok great, I signed it, BUT, she loves to read and is pretty good at it. She has a lot of trouble with math though. Why no help with that?

My son Nathan, he's in Kindergarten. I have health issues and haven't be able to walk to pick him up on Fridays. My husband goes away to work with the car from Thursday afternoon till Sunday morning. He told the school that I can't pick him up and if he could please take the bus home on Fridays. They said no. On the first day of school they said all K kids could ride to school (he walks with his sisters so he doesn't need the bus in the morning), but there would be NO transportation home. Well, every day there are several kids that take the bus home. They all had exceptions made for them, but my son can't ride one day??? They know it means he doesn't go to school on Fridays, but they still say no.

Yesterday my daughter comes home telling me that all I have to do for her to play trumpet is send $6 with a note saying it's ok for her to play and no problem. She knew I couldn't afford it and that's why she couldn't play this year. So, today I sent her to school with a note to the music teacher asking for her to please send me the agreement form and a price list and I would see if her biological father would pay for it because I couldn't afford it. Does she come home with any paper work today? No, she comes home with a trumpet! They let her borrow it for the year. WITHOUT asking me. *I* am the one that will be responsible if something happens to it, how can they let her use it without asking me first? I appreciate the thought, but I still think they should have asked me, AND given her a clean mouth piece.

The other thing about the trumpet that ticks me off is, why is that so important that they would lend her one without my permission, yet it's not important enough for my son to go to school on Fridays so they wouldn't let him ride the bus? I don't get it. Not that I don't think music is important, because I do, and I know she loves it, but I think they have their priorities messed up. Am I out of line there or what?

 

[AnnMarie]

Come on guys, give it to me straight. :LOL I can take it.

 

[Ms. Mom]

AnnMarie, you do bring up some valid concerns. I would write everything down that's bothering me and try to arrange a meeting with the teachers and the principal. Sit down with them and explain the situation and ask them how they think it could be handled.

Really go through your concerns and pick out the ones that really matter - like the school buss thing.

Does that sound like something you'd be comfortable with?

 

[AnnMarie]

Quote:

Originally posted by Ms. Mom AnnMarie, you do bring up some valid concerns. I would write everything down that's bothering me and try to arrange a meeting with the teachers and the principal. Sit down with them and explain the situation and ask them how they think it could be handled. Really go through your concerns and pick out the ones that really matter - like the school buss thing. Does that sound like something you'd be comfortable with?

Thanks for the reply. I don't really feel comfortable doing that because I am pretty sure I am seen as a crazy woman now. LOL I think I may write a letter and talk about it at her IEP meeting.

I know the trumpet thing doesn't sound like a big deal, but I feel they over stepped their bounds. They should have spoken to me first. They are sending my daughter the message that it doesn't matter what I tell her, they are more important. I want her to play, but I don't want to be responsible for something I can't afford to replace if something should happen to it. I would rather have waited for her bio. father to buy her one. It just makes me feel like they look down on us or something. So much that they feel they have the authority to make decisions for my family. KWIM? But on the other hand I appreciate it.

Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just needed to vent. I will have to set some boundaries, but I know that will make it even more difficult because they will always hold that against me and my kids.

 

[sarenka]

Anne Marie...
there seems to be so much going on here, that you feel you're seen as the crazy one, that your family is looked down on and not respected, that the choice is to be overlooked, or to be labelled crazy or over reacting for setting boudaries.
I'm not sure what to say...except that it sounds like a bad place to be in and I send you a hug and urge you to talk to the headmistress, particularly about the school bus issue and the maths help, they seem cut and dried issues...(although i see just what you mean about the trumpet too)

 

[AnnMarie]

Thank you sarenka.

I will bring up the math issue at my daughters IEP meeting. For those that don't know what that is, it stands for individualized educational plan. In other words, special education. lol That's partly what bugs me about the trumpet too. We're talking about a child that when I tell her to take the dog out she forgets to bring the dog. :LOL Yes, I am serious. I fear she will leave the trumpet someplace. So, I am going to write the school a note thanking them, but also telling them to go through me next time. I will tell them that she is free to use it until she gets her own but I will not be held responsible.

The bus issue really needs to be worked on because it's not fair for my son to miss every Friday because there is no after school transportation when they have other kids using the bus for after school transportation. Do they think we don't see the bus picking them up every day? LOL I may have to go to the superintendent because I believe this has already been brought to the principal's attention by my husband.

Thank you for your reply and the hug. I needed that.

 

[lauren]

Hi Ann Marie-
I'm just returning from being away for a few days. Whew! that is a bunch of concerns. Perhaps sitting down with someone at the top like the principal and going through your list would work. I agree though it's important to choose your battles. Perhaps start with the math help, then the note about the trumpet. Your description of forgetting the dog when taking the dog out made me laugh!! My son is the same way.

The bus issue is a tricky one--i think you said this child is in k-garten. I don't think k-garten is even mandatory for children, and I have also heard that schools are not legally mandated to provide busing. In our rural area, there are lots of discrepancies in the transportation. Kids on narrow dirt roads (like the one I live on) are just not transported. We have fought this and lost, because schools are not required to transport. So you have two issues--they don't legally have to transport, and you don't legally have to send child to k-garten. I can see why they are bogging down.

Are there any friends, relatives or neighbors you can ask to transport him on Fridays? I rely quite heavily on friends when my kids need to get somewhere and I can't get them there.

 

[AnnMarie]

Quote:

Originally posted by lauren Your description of forgetting the dog when taking the dog out made me laugh!! My son is the same way.

How do you deal with it? It drives me nuts.

Quote:

The bus issue is a tricky one--i think you said this child is in k-garten. I don't think k-garten is even mandatory for children, and I have also heard that schools are not legally mandated to provide busing. In our rural area, there are lots of discrepancies in the transportation. Kids on narrow dirt roads (like the one I live on) are just not transported. We have fought this and lost, because schools are not required to transport. So you have two issues--they don't legally have to transport, and you don't legally have to send child to k-garten. I can see why they are bogging down.

That is all true, BUT, they are letting other K kids ride the bus home. How can they make exceptions for some and let them ride the bus daily, but not another just one day a week? They pick and choose who doesn't have to follow the rules I guess. But you made me think of something. There's no reason I couldn't homeschool for that one day. He'll learn more here anyway. :LOL So I guess that's a better solution that getting them to let him ride the bus. Thanks.

Quote:

Are there any friends, relatives or neighbors you can ask to transport him on Fridays? I rely quite heavily on friends when my kids need to get somewhere and I can't get them there.

No, I have nobody to rely on. Just us.

 

[lauren]

That sounds like an innovative solution. It's great when we can get ourselved to think outside the box. I have a hard time doing that sometimes.

(I don't know how I deal with my son's forgetfulness and distractibility. I'm trying to come to terms with it, that it's the way he is; i try to provide cuing without sounding (or feeling) controlling. i try to breathe a lot. sometimes i get made and spaz at him. i do a lot of reading on strategies to deal with ADHD (which is what he has; no medication so far). It's hard and i need lots of support to deal with it!)

 

[AnnMarie]

Quote:

Originally posted by lauren That sounds like an innovative solution. It's great when we can get ourselved to think outside the box. I have a hard time doing that sometimes.

Well, seeing how I've homeschooled in the past I should have thought of it sooner. LOL VERY bad on my part.

Quote:

(I don't know how I deal with my son's forgetfulness and distractibility. I'm trying to come to terms with it, that it's the way he is; i try to provide cuing without sounding (or feeling) controlling. i try to breathe a lot. sometimes i get made and spaz at him. i do a lot of reading on strategies to deal with ADHD (which is what he has; no medication so far). It's hard and i need lots of support to deal with it!)

Yes, I know what you mean about breathing. I too spaz a lot. I feel really guilty about it, but I'm only human. I am always trying to do better.

Thanks so much!