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My oldest ds just turned five and we have never had a birthday party for him or his younger siblings that included anyone outside the immediate family. We have been invited to and attended a few of his friends parties and they were fun, but ds and dd have never requested to have one of their own. I am just wondering if there are any others of you who have not had parties yet?

Edited for spelling.
 

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Ds (now 3) has never had a birthday 'party', tho we have had gatherings with family for each of his three birthdays. We started a bit of a tradition where we go away on a mini holiday for the weekened with ds to a favourite place of his that we discovered as a family when he was 9mo. Ds' birthday is in June and it is wonderful to go away and have some family time and focus on him for his special day. We figure that to have a party we would have to spend a bit of money anyway, so although the getaway is not extravagant, we put our money towards a unique kind of birthday memory. I have nothing specific against birthday parties, and I figure one day ds might like to have one, but for now I really enjoy our little tradition!
 

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Okay, here's a slight twist: How to QUIT having birthday parties? We got into the birthday party cycle from Day 1 with our DDs (7 and 4), and as we're headed into birthday season again, I'm realizing how stressful it is. Little DD has been planning her 5th birthday party pretty much since her 4th birthday party, and now that it's looming, she's obsessing about the guest list. (As am I . . . )

I'd love to scrap this whole tradition and do something different, but my girls have come to expect the blasted birthday party.
 

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It became too much to have a birthday party every year. Too much money, too much stress. My kids get to have a big party every other year on the even age birthdays. Odd age years we have small family parties.

Some other ways to handle it that I have seen are:
- If you are turning 5, you only get to invite 5 friends; 6, 6 friends; etc.
- Gift from parents is the party so the only birthday gifts kids get are from the party attendees and relatives
- No presents, please bring a canned good for the food bank (people bring presents anyway but there are considerbly less).
 

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my oldest is 4 and we have never had parties. she has gone to a few and enjoyed them but has never herself wanted one.
we do the mini vacation thing too--go someplace special to us as a family and just enjoy time together.
 

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We don't have them every year. I think it's fine not to, especially since they have never even requested it. We asked ds this year if he wanted a party or to go to Disneyland and he picked Disneyland (we live 20 min. from there and it wound up costing less than a party would have). We do celebrate with cake and family- us and his grandparents and cousins who live nearby, but that is mostly for the grandparents sake.
 

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My kids never had "kid" parties for their birthdays (until last year when DD turned 10, she had 5 girls over for a slumber party/pizza/games). The only parties we ever had were aunts/uncles/grandparents. We quit having those a couple of years ago when more and more grandkids were being born into the family (my oldest two were the oldest grandkids on my side) and it just got to be "too much".

We did start our own tradition. They still get cake and ice cream, but it's just for us. I let them pick out what flavor of cake/frosting/sprinkles and let THEM make their own cake and decorate it. Not the prettiest things, but they love doing it and it still tastes good.
 

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Its fine not to have them.

We have always just done immediate family. For the first couple years, it was just the three (or four when dd came along) of us. We might include my sibs and grandparents, but it was just a 'we're having cake and ice cream at such and such time' if they showed up, they did.. if they didn't, no biggy.

Now that ds is in school - we've given him the option of a family party or a friend party. He much prefers the family party.

Dd has yet to have a party. (she was 3 in May) People (read: family) still sends cards and gifts, but there has been no big shin-dig. This year, she wanted one, and in her little brain, had it all planned out - right down to Pin the tail on the donkey!! But she came down with hand, foot & mouth disease, so we cancelled. She still got presents and her cake and ice cream - so she thought she had a party! (daddy even went out and bought her a balloon bouquet)

I strongly reccommend that when they request a friend party - to limit it to the number of kids = the age (5 friends for a 5 yr old...) But check with a teacher (if the party is going to take place during the school year) I know here, if you bring an invitation to school, there must be one for everyone in the class!!!! so if you are going to limit it, make sure you give the invitation to the parent - or mail it.
 

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My dd turns 3 tomorrow and has had 3 birthday parties. She has never requested one, but at this age, I don't think she'd understand how to go about requesting one. I'm thinking when she's closer to 5 she will understand the concept of requesting a party.

Our first birthday was big (about 30 relatives) but that was mostly b/c she was the first grandchild, great grandchild & great neice on dh's side of the family. It was fun but the next year we did a small party at my mom's with only her 2 cousins, aunt and grandparents there.

This year was totally different, we invited 3 neighbor kids to go to Six Flags with us. The families are already members (actually it was their idea) and we all had cake at my house first and then spent the day at the waterpark and the evening riding the rides.

I've enjoyed all three types of parties but have decided to keep her birthday low key since it does fall around the 4th of July holiday and I'm thinking many kids will be vacationing at this time of year and I don't want dd to be disappointed when kids can't make her party. She'll be allowed to invite 1-3 friends each year and we'll do something special like Six Flags or whatever.

Where I grew up parties were only done up to the age of 5 and then after that it was kept to small family and 1-2 friends celebration. That is not the way it is where I live now (or maybe times have changed) but I want to keep my daughters birthday a small and private affair b/c that is the way I prefer to have it done.

I do enjoy going to birthday parties for other children and won't keep dd from attending them but we'll try and keep her birthday small.
 

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I HATE birthday parties! We did the 1st one for dd and that was it! She's turning 4 soon and has been begging for one since she see's all her friends having one. She's going to her first party tomorrow at her babysitters house and I'm sure I will never hear the end of it. Daycares already bugging me about is she going to have a party, I feel like telling them if they want the hassle there welcome to do it themselves
A lot of people seem to do it for the gifts and nothing more, I remember one time when I was 12-13ish and I went to a friends b-day party and she knew I wasn't bringing anything as we could not afford it and she got mad when I showed up with no gift and had the gall to tell me that's why you have a party! to get gifts! ummm ok... I thought it was to celebrate life... every time I hear party I remember her comment... oh well, she grew up to marry her cousin, different kinda folk all around huh?
 

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Ummm....I would think you could move past some childish comment made when you were a mere 12 years old. How would the world function if we were all caught up in things that were said to us while we were in middle school?

I have parties for my children beause I celebrate the day that those beautiful babies came into my life. I am thankful every day that I have two healthy, happy children and every birthday I give thanks that they have grown to be a year older. Not all parents are so lucky. You should count your blessings.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by 2boys4me
Ummm....I would think you could move past some childish comment made when you were a mere 12 years old. How would the world function if we were all caught up in things that were said to us while we were in middle school?
I have but that comment sums up the going attitude around here that people pretty much only have parties to get presents and they freely admit it and I feel like why should I contribute to it? If the people mean something to us then fine but most people invite everybody and their cousins who they don't even know to get more presents!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by 2boys4me
When did I mention a thing about presents? If you'll take a moment to read the second paragraph, you'll see what my intent was in posting the message.

I wasn't referring to Mothering.com moms but the town I live in and how that little girls comment is still true in this town today. (I've lived here almost 20 years)
 

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My sister didn't have a lot of money for parties for her seven kids. So she would let the birthday girl/boy sleep late and she would prepare his/her favorite meal. The birthday child could pick one thing to do that day that was within the family budget. (I say family budget cuz the whole family would get to do the one thing chosen) The birthday child could stay up late that night too. If birthday happened to occur on a school day, she let him/her stay home from school.
 

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We don't do parties, but plan a special activity instead. For Elizabeth's birthday this year, for example, we went (with my mom, who goes everywhere with us) to the Indianapolis Children's Museum. She had a great time.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by 2boys4me
Ummm....I would think you could move past some childish comment made when you were a mere 12 years old. How would the world function if we were all caught up in things that were said to us while we were in middle school?

I have parties for my children beause I celebrate the day that those beautiful babies came into my life. I am thankful every day that I have two healthy, happy children and every birthday I give thanks that they have grown to be a year older. Not all parents are so lucky. You should count your blessings.
That's pretty rude. There are plenty of ways to "give thanks" for your children. How about you open your mind instead of doing everything the way you're supposed to?

ETA: never mind. I found some of your other posts. It doesn't look like being open-minded is your goal here.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by 2boys4me
Ummm....I would think you could move past some childish comment made when you were a mere 12 years old. How would the world function if we were all caught up in things that were said to us while we were in middle school?

I have parties for my children beause I celebrate the day that those beautiful babies came into my life. I am thankful every day that I have two healthy, happy children and every birthday I give thanks that they have grown to be a year older. Not all parents are so lucky. You should count your blessings.
Gee, if I weren't so unflappable, I might think you're suggesting that those who don't have birthday parties (or don't enjoy them) don't count our blessings or celebrate the day our beautiful babies came into our lives. That's a rather inflammatory message to post on a Mothering board!
 

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We only have grandma&grandpa come over. That's it. Maybe DH's elderly aunt. DS#1 did ask for a party with kids this year, but it is just not doable. Can't fit 'em in the apartment, and on top of that, even if we could, the downstairs neighbors would be pretty upset, as would the rest of the building, if we had a party with kids. And winter bday, can't go to the park. And can't afford the local party rental places ... they're just out-of-control expensive.



They know we love them. That's what matters. Don't need a big party to prove it.

Oh, and
T

Quote:
... by Satori
... she grew up to marry her cousin, different kinda folk all around huh?
Not sure what the point is, am thinking it's not complimentary ... but I won't be offended. My grandparents were first cousins. But hey, we're weird ethnic city folk.



Whatever.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by merpk
Oh, and
T

Not sure what the point is, am thinking it's not complimentary ... but I won't be offended. My grandparents were first cousins. But hey, we're weird ethnic city folk.



Whatever.

I know some cultures do it, its just taboo in the US. She was very aware of it and the risks to them genetically and tends to keep the fact they are related a secret. I only know becasue her mom told me, gotta love moms, they blab everything you to want kept secret! (I mean she's really bad about blabbing, she told me things I really bad no biz knowing. My moms just as bad
) I swear I will be a lot more considerate for my kids!
 
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