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GRRRR! I <i>know</i> I am cranky and irritable: I am 38 weeks tomorrow, big, and SORE everywhere. Emotionally, I feel unstable and alternate being SO ready to be done being pregnant and SO sad that this might be the very last time I ever feel a baby inside me. I am putting forth extra effort around the house, trying to be sure that everything is ready just.in.case; my bags are packed, the kids' (all four!) bags are packed, carseat is ready to go, baby's clothes and diapers are washed, folded, and put away; I'm staying on top of the laundry and usually household stuff, PLUS I am keeping every room picked up in the event that someone else has to come over and watch my children here... so, I've been busy.<br>
My DH, on the other hand, has been spending more time sleeping than usual. He has developed (recently) a tendency to lay things down where they don't belong... really aggravating things like putting a stack of mail on the kitchen island, right across from the MAILBASKET that is on the kitchen counter... you know, to PUT THE MAIL IN!!!!!!! His only household task is to water the chickens because I can't lift the huge waterer when it's full and there have been more days than I care to admit when I've looked out and seen the waterer empty and the chickens drinking water out of the kids' sandbox (no sand, just rainwater and yuck in there)... grrr.<br>
When he is off work, he regularly sleeps in till 10 or 11 o'clock, then gets up and sits in the recliner and watches TV. I have gently asked him to join us for this or that activity (FAMILY time!) and he just "doesn't feel like it". In the evenings, he sits in the recliner and dozes until he's ready to go to bed. So.much.fun! After a long day of being with the kids, I'd like a little adult conversation, something, ANYTHING other than listening to him snore while I read. The TV is a hot button with us: when he's not home or when he's asleep, the TV is off. If he is awake, it has to be on; even if he's not interested in anything on TV. It drives me BATTY.<br><br>
It must just be my very-pregnant emotional status, but every.little.thing he does is boiling my blood!!!! I think he is doing things purposefully to piss me off.
 

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Oh dear! I hope he's just getting his energy stored up so when the new baby comes he'll take care of everything for you!!!<br><br>
I know my DH isn't too 'on the ball' with cleaning and taking care of the house and he loves to leave everything to the very last minute...which drives me insane.<br><br>
Hope your day gets better!
 

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I don't know what to say. Except this would royally piss me off as well. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"> If my husband wasn't already like that. Could he be depressed? I mean it seems like you're saying he wasn't like this annd now he is, so why?
 

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So sorry you are not getting the help you need! I have yet to figure out the male mind, so I work around it with simple rules DH can follow.<br><br>
I gave my DH two rules only for this last month: 1) please do what I ask regarding house work, even if you think cleaning grout lines with baking soda and a toothbrush is stupid and 2) whatever nutty pregnant mood cycle I am in, tell me exactly what I want to hear. (i.e.....me:"this baby better come early..I am SO done" to which he replies: "I am sure she will be here right at 38wks hun" and then the next when I say "I hope this baby stays put until 41wks cause there is so much to do!" he replies with "I am sure she is no where near ready to come yet hun".)
 

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I love DeChRi's rules! Must enforce them here as well.<br>
dkenagy, it is hard to be so pregnant. I am only 36 weeks but feeling a bit panicky and "underserved". I had to ask FIVE times for dh to take down a load of laundry for me. I am literally walking around in my underwear because I have nothing to wear. And my chickens are also thirsty right now as dh is napping. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br>
I think perhaps womenfolk simply underestimate all that we do on a daily basis until a time comes when we CAN'T do it all for one reason or another (like 9 months pregnant <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">). And as a consequence some of our menfolk aren't accustomed to noticing what needs to be done and taking action to do it. I know if I had to suddenly take over dh's work I would unintentionally let a lot of things slide. But I know that thought still doesn't help much when you feel overwhelmed!<br>
It will all be back to a new normal very soon for all of us. Hang in there!
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I figured someone would ask if I thought he was depressed. Answer? Nope. He's fine when he's got something in mind HE wants to do/friends he wants to see, etc. It's not like I've never been pregnant before--maybe I just usually handle TOO well. LOL I'm NINE MONTHS PREGNANT! Get off your butt and DO SOMETHING!!! GRRRRR!!!<br><br>
I think you hit it on the head, henny penny. I just need somebody to help take up some of the slack! I was actually thinking this yesterday when I was putting the last load of laundry into the dryer: Hopefully this will be the last time I have to wash all the laundry before the baby comes... but, then, WHO is going to do it when I am wrapped up in nursing and recovering?? My DH will take time off work and will be here to help with the older kids, etc, but asking him to do laundry would really be above and beyond, yk? *sigh* I need a housekeeper! LOL A free-of-charge housekeeper!!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dkenagy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15362131"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's not like I've never been pregnant before--maybe I just usually handle TOO well.</div>
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Yes, this! I don't ask for a lot of help in our day to day lives and I think it comes as a shock when I'm suddenly cranky, needy, and demanding. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> But really, shouldn't the giant belly be a big clue that we need help?! Grrr.
 

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I don't think he's *trying* to tick you off, per se, but I completely understand your line of thinking. My DH always acts weird when I'm pregnant, then the baby comes and it's like superdad has arrived.<br><br>
This is our 3rd baby and I've felt especially pressured by the demands put on me, having two other children to take care of, a huge house, and lots of obligations- on top of the normal stuff, this has been my hardest pregnancy yet and I've suffered a LOT. I don't feel that I've gotten the attention and help that I need, but I also feel that he's doing the best that he can. Lately I've been in SO much pain with my back/hips/SPD that I can barely do any household stuff, and I really wish he would help more with that- but I'm trying so hard not to be the nagging wife. And when I finally have a meltdown about it, I think he looks at it like some kind of cute pregnant thing and doesn't take me seriously. ARGHHH!<br><br>
I just want to have this baby and be done, but then I realize this is definitely our LAST baby, so I also want to enjoy life for a while while I can still sleep a bit and spend the last few weeks soaking up time with my other kids.<br><br>
Before we know it, this phase will be over and we'll be on to the next...
 

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ddcc. I called my dh about 5 minutes after he left the house the other day, to let him know he needed to come back and clean the litter box. We've been round about this, and he has promised to do it Every Single Morning, and after the eleventieth time he promised, I started holding him to it. Also, DD was planning on having a friend over, and I didn't want the litter box gross. He wasn't happy, I wasn't sympathetic.
 

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My boyfriend and I aren't even in the same country right now and he still has the ability to piss me off so I feel your pain. He asked me today..."why do you assume that I'm always trying to provoke you?"...I just laughed...it's tough mama. I have absolutely no suggestions cuz right now I'm handling it all on my own...I'm just letting you know you are not alone.
 

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My DH was on call all weekend, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm 39w4d and could have the baby any minute, and things NEED to be done. So today, I moved all the furniture in the girls' room. It was exhausting, but I have been asking him to do it for weeks. I also have been asking him to add more litter to the cat box and he hasn't done that in weeks either. There was just a smidgen of litter for the poor cat to use and even that was dirty. And the box of replacement litter has been SITTING NEXT TO THE BOX for a week! GRRRRRRR!! So I changed the litter myself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">
 

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I am right there with you Mama! Im due in 14 days, and DH has never been domestic, although he is awesome with the kids. I, too feel huge and sore, swollen feet and all those lovely end-of-pregnancy aches&pains. DH will literally sit on his butt watching TV and watch me lug laundry, carry around the 15mo old, clean the cat box (you get the idea) and not say one word. I guess since I am such a neat freak and always *have* to complete the chores every day he thinks Im not having any troubles at all. Ive tried to ask him for help, and he either a)does nothing or b)accuses me of being bitchy/nagging. I know this is #7 and having babies is kinda old hat for us now, but still........<br><br>
Not much in the way of advce, but you are certainly not alone. Here's hoping it gets better for all of us and the DH's better hope karma doesnt decide to bite them in the ass anytime soon! *hugs*
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Well, I went and exploded this afternoon and, well, it didn't go nearly as badly as I thought it would!!!<br><br>
This morning, I was up and getting the kids' breakfast and ironing dresses and getting everyone ready for church around 8 am. I actually overslept as I usually like to get up between 7-7:30 to get everything done before church. ANYWAY, it's no surprise that we are going to church, no new thing; I don't miss services unless someone is vomiting or having diarrhea, has a high fever or something contagious, or I'm birthing a baby... so, none of the above, but DH is still snoring away at 9 am. I'm getting ticked because we need to leave by 9:20 to be at church on time. I'm NOT making him go, I'm NOT his mommy, I CAN do this on my own (though I'd rather not have to!)... so, I tell him what time it is (again) and that I'm leaving at regular time, and that I'm not going to be waiting around because he can't bother to get up and get ready. So he drags himself out of bed, dresses, swallows a donut on the way to the van. Whatever. He's not making me late.<br>
This afternoon, he asks me if I am still in love with him. This is a toughie! At this point in time, I LOVE him, but am I *in love* with a man so completely wrapped up in himself? So selfish? So I told him everything about how I've been feeling lately, how his behavior is affecting me and the children, how frustrated I am and how I don't want to bring another baby into a situation where I am already stretched so thin; I told him that I want the old him back--the super-dad, the attentive husband. He agreed with everything I said and told me he'd really been thinking about all that and he's sorry and for me not to worry about it, 'cause it's under control...<br><br>
Wow. I didn't know what to say. We've never been in this place before in our 14 years together. I know he's sincere and I'm so glad I finally melted down and got all this crap out there before I have this baby! Maybe I'll go ahead and go into labor now that I don't have to carry all this!
 

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Glad you had a productive talk with your DH, Darci! My DH spent most of the winter "in hibernation", like you describe. We finally had a talk about it and he has made improvements. Not perfect, but better. He still doesn't pick-up after himself (dirty socks all over our living room), but he has started helping with the dishes and spending more time entertaining our DD and putting her to bed on most nights.<br><br>
And yes, the cat's litter box is major bone of contention in our house too!<br><br>
I think he finally started to realize that 1. I couldn't continue to do everything; and 2. when the baby is born, he will have to do a lot of this stuff, because I'll be nursing and recovering.
 
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