[heatherzenzen]

I started homeschooling my first DD, who turned four at the end of August. It's a lot of fun, and she LOVES doing it. I love that I'm doing something to instill a LOVE of learning in her rather than making learning a chore. But ...

... it's hard to find the TIME to "do school"! Mornings are best (for me, patience-wise; for dd, concentration-wise), but we've ALWAYS got something going on the morning (preschool two morns a week, a child swap another two morns a week, and a class for me one morn e/o week). PLUS, my younger dd (20 months) gets SO jealous when we do school, so it's really hard to concentrate and get anything done with her screaming and climbing on my lap and getting into things.

That means we should do school in the early afternoon, when nothing is planned b/c dd#2 is sleeping. She's out of the way, we have nothing going on ... but my patience is at its limit at this time of day, and my dd's concentration is substantially diminished. I mean, you should SEE the difference in her ability to grasp and understand concepts via the morning or afternoon.

Anyway, I'm having a really hard time fitting it all in, and it really doesn't take that long. I suppose we should concentrate on clearing our schedule in the morns and me making more of an effort to plan stuff for dd#2 to do while we do school ... but that's really hard! My older daughter can hardly give up her beloved preschool, and the child swap is working wonderfully for giving both me and another mom some time off to do something w/o our kids. And she can't do an afternoon swap.

So, I guess what I'm asking is this: Is homeschooling REALLY worth it when you consider that you have to give up YOUR life in order to do it? I enjoy it, but what's left for ME? I feel like I live for others, and that's not what I envisioned my life ending up like. I have no time to do stuff for myself. My husband works until 8-9 pm every night (and he leaves at 6am for work), so giving the kids to him while I get time doesn't work unless it's the weekend, and then I want to spend time with HIM.

Maybe a nice private school with the same philosophical approach as mine would be ok? Oh ... I don't know!

 

[mykdsmomy]

Honestly if your little one just turned four and is going to preschool and other outings, it sounds like when she's home, the best thing for now is to just relax.....you can read some books and incorporate the 20 month old into that process (i have a 20 month old and know it isnt that easy to do

)
She doenst need a ton of extra "school" right now and it sounds like it's not productive anyway.....it's stressing both of you out.
I'm sure the ladies here will be able to give you some good advice but imo I would say you're doing a great job....maybe just focus on some story time every day....

Also, hs'ing is a lifestyle.......and there are sooooo many different ways of educating your children at home. It doesnt have to look like a classroom. Children learn at different ages and stages and they are not all the same (contrary to the government's belief) There are some great books about hs'ing styles.....maybe someone can recommend one? I'm having a brain fart right now and cant think....

Good luck mama!

 

[heatherzenzen]

Well, the reason we started this year is b/c the curriculum that I wanted to try (Charlotte Mason approach curriculum) and the math (both saxon and singapore) that I was looking at seemed, well ... she already KNEW a lot of what it was TEACHING. Like shapes and colors and her letters and whatever. Kids in kindergarten here are doing MULTIPLICATION at the end of the year, and I'm SO concerned with her appearing to be "behind" the regular-schooled kids. I'm trying to keep up with the Jones's in education! Anyway, I still thinks she gets things out of the lessons, though, even if she already understood a lot of it, and I didn't want to just jump ahead ... but I also wasn't comfortable planning on teaching her things NEXT year that she ALREADY seemed to know THIS year. So, we're trying to just take it easy and "do school" in an ease-into-it kind of way. But even though that was my plan from the start, to not have it so formal, it still seems like it's hard to find time. I don't know. Maybe I'm too anal to hs? She LOVES doing school (well, she gets bored with phonics, but I try to keep that to a minimum), and it's really great teaching her and seeing her grow. And I just have these images of me and the girls "homeschooling" when they're in their teens by volunteering for habit for humanity and taking a voluteer vacation (like working on a safari in africa) ... doing cool things like that (assuming we have money to do stuff like that in 10+ years!). And I really think hsing is great ... but I don't want my life consumed by work for others ALL the time!

I think I'm going nuts.

 

[dharmamama]

Homeschooling toddlers and preschoolers is a lot, lot different than homeschooling "school-aged" kids. Your daughter is only four. There is no reason at all that she needs anything academic. If she loves "doing school," then keep a few workbooks or alphabet cards or math manipulatives handy and, when you have the time and WANT to do something "homeschoolish," whip them out and go to it. But you don't have to recreate school in your home, and, honestly, it sounds like your daughter already has so much going on that trying to add formal homeschooling lessons would be too much. Remember, she's only four. She should be spending the vast majority of her time playing.

Besides, once your kids are actually "school-aged," things will be a lot different. Having little ones is really hard because they need you to help out with so many of the basics of life that it feels like you have no emotional energy left for anything "extra." But think about when your daughter is six, seven, or eight. She will be able to so much more for herself that you will have more time for yourself, too, and then, making "extra" time to do homeschooling won't seem like such a stretch.

I do "homeschooling" stuff with my kids, and we really enjoy it because we do it when it fits naturally into our day. If we have a busy day or just don't feel like it, we skip it. And we don't do anything academic. We just do activities and reading and crafty stuff. I don't worry about what my kids are learning because education is NOT a race to see who can know the most stuff first. I couldn't care less whether my kids know the same things at the same times (or the same things, EVER) that schooled kids know. If I wanted them to know those things at those times, I'd send them to school!

The beauty of homeschooling is that you don't have to do it the way anyone else (or any curriculum) tells you to. You can do it the way that's right for you and your daughter.

If you've just started homeschooling your just-turned-four year old and you're already questioning whether homeschooling is "worth it," that says to me that you are trying to do too much.

Namaste!

 

[annethcz]

I think there's a HUGE temptation to want to do too much with your oldest child. I had the same experience when my oldest was 4. I felt like I should be doing so much with him, I didn't want him to fall behind. But it's not really neccesary to do so much with little ones. Look a little closer at Charlotte Mason's writings- she didn't encourage formal lessons with children until they are older (age 7 I think?). If you look around, you won't find any Charlotte Mason curriculums for preschoolers. You may find a few suggested reading lists, but that's about it. The reason is because they don't NEED formal instruction.

Now that I've said that, I will tell you that most days I do formal lessons with my younger kids. However, it's mostly child-led. We always sit down to read storybooks, science books, etc. in the morning. And then I allow my kids to work on seatwork (workbooks, art, crafty stuff, puzzles, etc.) as their interest guides.

If your DD already knows what is in the workbooks, then it seems clear to me that she doesn't really NEED them. If doing workbooks is fun for her and she enjoys doing them, by all means let her. But if she doesn't like it, and she has already mastered the material, then there's no real reason to push her to do it. She's already learned the concepts by living everyday life. I'd also be hesitant to teach her advanced concepts at a young age (multiplication in K???? That isn't a subject that is taught in K in the southern metro

) When you try to teach little ones concepts that are too complex for them to understand, it's very easy to turn them off to learning and make them think that learning is something that is done "to" them.

As for finding the time to do formal instruction... do you have a daily routine? I know it can be hard to have a routine when you have playgroup, etc. during the week. I have the same struggles. However, I've found that having a daily routine has REALLY helped me. It also helps my kids know what to expect during their day. I also have a toddler, but she generally does just fine during our lesson time, because we do it everyday and she knows what to expect. We usually do lessons right away in the morning. We do read-alouds on the couch (toddler sometimes listens, sometimes wanders around the room). Then we all move to the dining room where kids work on workbooks or whatever. Yes, sometimes I end up holding/nursing the toddler while I work with one of the older kids. But many times the toddler entertains herself- she colors, plays with toys, etc. while the older kids work.

And as for the 'time for yourself' issue- no, I wouldn't homeschool if it meant that I had no time to myself. But honestly, I think that your issue has more to do with the AGE of your children than homeschooling. Young kids tend to be very needy, and it is up to their primary caregiver to meet those needs when they occur. As kids grow older, they become more independant and can do more on their own. It can be hard to imagine that you'll ever have a minute to yourself when you're in the throws of parenting children under the age of 5. But really, it does happen as kids grow up and want to do more on their own. I also believe that if you want time to yourself, you can make it happen. Schedule it into your daily routine. Do some things that are for you- take a walk with the kids, read that book you've been dying to read while you're sitting in the same room as your kids, etc.

 

[LeftField]

Quote:

Originally Posted by annethcz When you try to teach little ones concepts that are too complex for them to understand, it's very easy to turn them off to learning and make them think that learning is something that is done "to" them.

I agree with this. I would be interested in know if the children in the K that teaches multiplication are truly understanding and retaining this knowledge or if the school has to keep teaching it over again in 1st grade, 2nd grade, etc. I also find it curious that things get taught in school at younger and younger ages, yet the graduation age hasn't been lowered and high school curric stays at the same level. Does it matter if you learn multiplication in kindy or in third grade, if you still end up in algebra or calculus in high school and graduate at 18? The great thing about hsing is that your child won't be ahead of or behind anyone; she'll learn at her own level and rate. I would, personally, worry a bit about doing too much now and turning her off.

 

[Drummer's Wife]

I agree with everyone that 4 is a little young to be so worried about how much you are working with her as far as homeschooling. And if she is going to preschool two mornings a weeks, then she may want to just play and have fun at home which is still learning and has the benefit of being child led.

My dd is 4 1/2 and was in a Montessori preschool last year. Because we can't afford it this yr I began looking into homeschooling. Basically I'm still researching and learning and have realized I am more of the unschooling type than someone who would follow a structured curriculum. We have done activities here and there and I've printed writing and math worksheets online but they are really just for fun. I also feel like I don't have enough time to devote to sitting down with her, doing lessons, etc because of my 2 yr old and 8 month old. I think that if I homeschool next yr, I will have figured out what works best for us and my younger two children will be a yr older so hopefully that will make it easier.

Just remember that children are learning ALL the time! You've done a great teaching her already, think how much she has learned in the past 4 yrs

 

[heatherzenzen]

Yeah, I agree that I don't need to be shoving academic stuff down her throat that she's not ready for. That's hard for me to accept, though! However, I agree that they shouldn't be taught things until they're READY to learn it. It's just so nerve-wracking when all her neighbors and friends are spouting off multiplication tables and reading! Ugh. I just need to learn to let go and take it easy. I'm SUCH a planner though, it's really hard! That, and I just want to teach her EVERYTHING! I'm neurotic.

 

[dharmamama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heatherzenzen It's just so nerve-wracking when all her neighbors and friends are spouting off multiplication tables and reading!

Her just-turned-four year old friends are reciting the multiplication tables and reading? REALLY? I'd be more concerned about those kids than I would about your daughter, honestly. Most four year olds are not ready for those things, and if MOST of your daughter's (schooled) friends are doing them, that indicates (to me) a problem with those kids' schools, NOT with your daughter.

Or, maybe it just FEELS like "all" her friends are doing these things when, given a little time to reflect on it, you'd realize that "all" or "most" of her friends (who are HER AGE, not older) are not really doing these things after all.

Namaste!

 

[cottonwood]

"Is homeschooling REALLY worth it when you consider that you have to give up YOUR life in order to do it?"

Not for me.

If I were you I'd consider not trying to "do school" right now, and wait until you can be more flexible about it (i.e., when your daughters are a little older.) If you really feel strongly about "keeping up with the Jonses" then maybe school would work better for you. Keep hanging around here and reading, though, and you might find yourself thinking differently about what your daughters "should" be doing.

 

[heatherzenzen]

Sorry about the misconception w/ her 4 yo friends reading and doing multiplication. She's more advanced than her 4 yo friends, and none of them do that yet. I was more concerned w/ when they go to "real school" like our other neighbors. All the 6 yo's in our neighborhood are doing multiplication and reading (by the end of kindergarten). I'm looking down the road, but I realize that I shouldn't worry about this stuff. She'll learn it when she's ready, and I'm taking in too much all at one. just my over-organizational habits kicking in. It'll be easier next year when her sister is a little older and we don't have to schedule around preschool. We'll keep doing what we're doing this year, but take our time doing it and do it when we WANT to. We'll feel it out through the year, continue to have fun, and be ready to be a BIT more structured next year. I'm just worried about it overtaking my life, but I don't see why I should be so worried about that. They're young, and them just being here has overtaken my life. I think I was just excited aobut the possibility of more "me" time if I were to ship her off to school, which isn't what I want to do and is unrealistic none-the-less. Even if I were to send her to school, I would still have her little sister with me, and I'm sure we'll have at least one more baby sometime in the future. I just need to get a grip and realize that this is what young children demand. Sure, I don't get much of a life now, but in 5-10 years I'll look back and MISS this. I don't have a life of my own, but in reality, they still bring me joy every day, and I don't want to miss that. I need to stop being a pessimist and realize that I am blessed to live this life with my girls!

 

[Linda on the move]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heatherzenzen It's just so nerve-wracking when all her neighbors and friends are spouting off multiplication tables and reading! Ugh. I just need to learn to let go and take it easy. I'm SUCH a planner though, it's really hard! That, and I just want to teach her EVERYTHING! I'm neurotic.

I just don't believe you. I spend too much time around kids. There is the odd 4 year old who is super advanced, but the reality is that few 4 year old know multiplication and reading. When I was a Daisy Leader with a mostly public schooled troop, the most of the kids (5 and 6 year olds) didn't even know how to fold a piece of paper in half.

Whatever you decide about homeschooling, you need to stop comparing your child to other kids or you will drive her crazy. She will never feel that she lives up to your expectations and will compare herself to others to try to figure out if she is OK rather than being comfortable in her own skin. This isn't about homeschooling, this is just parenting.

 

[LeftField]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linda on the move Whatever you decide about homeschooling, you need to stop comparing your child to other kids or you will drive her crazy. She will never feel that she lives up to your expectations and will compare herself to others to try to figure out if she is OK rather than being comfortable in her own skin. This isn't about homeschooling, this is just parenting.

A lady in our Gymboree class is always checking out what my kids are doing, asking what month they were born in and strongly encouraging her older son to do things that mine is doing. I'm not saying you're like this, btw, Heather, but this is just an example. Consequently, her son seems kind of insecure about what he creates. And he's always trying to taunt my son in a comparative way. One day, when they were using these giant blocks, her son said to mine, "Beeennnn...My tower is bigger than yours!!" in a taunting way. My son, who was making a short and wide tower, glanced over at the tall tower, acknowleged that it was tall, and went back to his own work. I was so pleased. This is an extreme (but unfortunately not uncommon) example of how parental comparisons can lead to insecurity. It shouldn't matter what the other kids are doing, as long as your child is happy and working within her ability.

If you like planning, you might like this. I think that the basics just come. But homeschooling gives you this wonderful ability to customize your child's curriculum and go much deeper than allowed in school environments. Find out what excites your child and help her go deeply into that area, if that's what she wants. Like, my son is reallly into engines right now. He wouldn't have the opportunity to explore that in any kindergarten class that I know of. But with homeschooling, he can spend as much time as he wants to in this area. I think that Moomimama had commented once about advanced children with homeschooling, in that she felt it was better to go deep into subject matter with these kids rather than trying to go up as many levels in a short a time as possible.

So, when my son has interests, like the engine for example, I help him go as deep as he wants into this subject matter, which is a huge advantage over what he'd get in school. School kids get moved along the timeline in an orderly fashion, often superficially hitting topics, while my child gets a tailored education with unlimited time. Helping your child explore her passions involves lots of planning. My son doesn't know what books are available at the library and that actually takes a lot of time to work out. He is unaware of what resources exist, so I spend a lot of time finding outings that he might like or finding projects or experiments. If you facilitate her interests, I think you'll find that there's lots of opportunity for planning. That's an advantage right there, that your daughter can learn what she wants to in great depth, while the other kids march along in the designated time slots. It makes school enrichment look very shallow in comparison.

But I agree with a pp, that as hard as it might be, it's not serving you or your daughter to try to keep up with what the neighbors are doing. The neighbors might not be happy in the long run or might hate school or might not understand it. Some of the neighbors might be more advanced no matter what you or they do. I think that, over a period of time, it will just drive you nuts. I recommend just putting on blinders in that area and channeling your energy and organizational skills into helping your daughter discover her passions and learn at her level.

 

[jessicaSAR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linda on the move I just don't believe you. I spend too much time around kids. There is the odd 4 year old who is super advanced, but the reality is that few 4 year old know multiplication and reading. When I was a Daisy Leader with a mostly public schooled troop, the most of the kids (5 and 6 year olds) didn't even know how to fold a piece of paper in half. Whatever you decide about homeschooling, you need to stop comparing your child to other kids or you will drive her crazy. She will never feel that she lives up to your expectations and will compare herself to others to try to figure out if she is OK rather than being comfortable in her own skin. This isn't about homeschooling, this is just parenting.

I agree completely!!

And frankly, my two year old could parrot muliplication tables if she listened to someone repeating it all day long. That does not mean she has any idea what multiplication is. So many schools are spending tons of time drilling kids for tests. That is not real learning! Multiplication in Kindergarten? Ridiculous! IMO, that is reason enough to homeschool.

 

[heatherzenzen]

4 yo's in our neighborhood don't read and do math - the 6 yo's do (at the end of their kindergarten year).

I don't compare her to the other children, but I'm worried that others may (which is ridiculous). I would never urge my child to do something just to outdo the other children. If I were that type, I'd send her to school just to get her away from me!

Homeschooling has enough of a bad reputation amongst the general public; but then the public school kids are getting stuff shoved down their throat before they're ready, and I'm sorry, but that makes it more daunting for us homeschoolers in the area. If our kids don't know the same things as the public school kids, it creates problems. I know I need to ignore that and just continue on with our child-led learning approach, but when everyone else around you thinks of your kid as behind b/c of the choices you made regarding her education, that puts a pressure on you as a parent, and you want to alleviate that pressure. Unfortunately, it's not a pressure I'm going to alleviate if I do the same thing public schools around here are doing and teach her stuff before I think she's ready. So, I guess it's just something I'll have to live with and recognize that it's THEIR problem, not ours.

 

[mrsfatty]

Minnesota's Educational Standards

That's a link of the standards that are set in the public schools...

That being mentioned...your child will pick up on your comparisons MORE than the comparisons of others...I think a deep breath is needed!

If others try to ask you about "where your child is" educationally--just say she's doing excellent...if they push further...tell them, "I don't think it's healthy or necessary to compare our children. Thanks for asking though."

If they ask your daughter--and try to quiz her--you could help teach her to say, "do you know how to do this? Do you know what the answer is? Good for you!" Smile sweetly and walk away...now I realize she's four...but she can just play the "question" game right back.

Regardless if children are in school or not--every child learns at their own pace...

How to instill a love of learning suggestions:
Go to the park (see all there is to see--then grab a book about it and read about it)
Go to the zoo
Go to the museum
Cook
Bake
Play with clay or play dough
Create picture books
Create short word books
Go to the library
Go to a concert (or listen to some music)
Have colored days (red day, blue day, yellow day)
Have numbered days (everything in threes)
Have shaped days (point out everything that's a triangle)
Have lettered days (everytime you see the letter "z" sing a favorite song--or take its picture an put it in the "z" book you're making)
Do a scavenger hunt
Do crafts
Play with Legos
Go for a walk
Learn everything there is to know about a particular animal or plant
Make a map of your neighborhood
Make a treasure map
Call a grandparent and ask about what they remember in their childhood
Talk about family history
Make a family tree
etc.

Ask the questions:
Use all the "who, what, where, when, how, why, etc." questions--how does this work? who made this? when did this start? where are they located?

 

[mommyofshmoo]

All this academic expectation in kindy is so ridiculous.There's maybe one kid per class who could understand the concept of multiplication. Then maybe 5 more could memorize and look like they understood. Those kids are labelled "smart" the others "slow" and those labels will follow them for their whole school carreers and in their self esteem forever.

That is one of the reasons why homeschooling is so great- our kids don't have to play that game.

My dd is almost 3.5. The only charachter she consistently remembers is 3. She's starting to show interest though and now gets excited whenever we see a 7 eleven. And she recegnizes O. She pulls out alphabet books sometimes and likes to do workbooks with mazes and numbers every once in a while. But she also likes to look at license plates in parking lots and trace the letters with her finger (eww, dirty!).

The thing is I see her interact with other kids her age whose parents constantly coach and drill them. They know all their numbers to 10 or 20 or whatever. They can write their name maybe. NONE of these kids seem any more advanced or bright or with it than my kid. I don't interact with these children and think "WOW- this kid is going places!" Their parents have taught them party tricks- nothing more.

I went to a birthday party recently and one of the 3-4 year olds had written out "Happy Birthday" or somesuch on a card. Does it mean she can read? or spell? I didn't get the sense AT ALL that this was the child's idea.

Anyway- gotta run

 

[AnnR33]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heatherzenzen I know I need to ignore that and just continue on with our child-led learning approach, but when everyone else around you thinks of your kid as behind b/c of the choices you made regarding her education, that puts a pressure on you as a parent, and you want to alleviate that pressure. Unfortunately, it's not a pressure I'm going to alleviate if I do the same thing public schools around here are doing and teach her stuff before I think she's ready. So, I guess it's just something I'll have to live with and recognize that it's THEIR problem, not ours.

It IS hard to let go of the perceptions and social expectations of what our kids are "supposed to learn and when" according to SCHOOL expections. I still struggle to ignore what my friends' kids are learning and concentrate on my son's needs.
But ya know what...we are so much happier this year than last year in public K-no homework to stress about before supper, no "grades" to make my son feel "dumb" and no horrible behaviors learned on the playground!!

So just relax this year and focus on reading aloud as much as possible, playing games, and having fun!
Ann

 

[Linda on the move]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heatherzenzen Homeschooling has enough of a bad reputation amongst the general public; but then the public school kids are getting stuff shoved down their throat before they're ready, and I'm sorry, but that makes it more daunting for us homeschoolers in the area.

I don't see how it makes homeschooling more "daunting." I think it makes homeschooling more desirable.

Our situation is different from many families in that we have moved every year -- we've seen that the standards of what kids "have" to know at certain ages vary widely from place to place. We know that this is because those standards are arbitrary. It is all a load of rubish. Part of the reason we homeschool is to opt out of all that nonsense.

Quote:

If our kids don't know the same things as the public school kids, it creates problems.

There are occassionally things that my kids don't know that public schooled kids know. They pick those things up very fast. It hasn't been a "problem" for us at all. There are far more things that my kids know that their public schooled peers don't know. On the whole, homeschooled kids are more mature and have more common sense that than public schooled peers (I know some great kids who go to school, too).

The real difference between my kids and their public schooled peers, however, is that my kids are interested and engaged in learning, and for the most part their peers aren't. There are a lot of children in this world who were forced to read when they were 5 and won't pick up a book when they are 9. It's sad to watch. My kids read a little later than they would have been forced to at school, but they love the nonfiction section at the library.

Also, since the push the kids to do things before they are ready, they have to keep working on those same things year after year. My kids played with playdough and baked cookies and were read to when they were little, now they are totally into the middle ages. Their schooled peers have been doing the same stuff for years.

Quote:

I know I need to ignore that and just continue on with our child-led learning approach, but when everyone else around you thinks of your kid as behind b/c of the choices you made regarding her education, that puts a pressure on you as a parent,

Who thinks of your 4 year old as behind? What have they said? When you use sweeping statements like "everyone else around you" it is makes it sorta of....unbelievable.

Quote:

So, I guess it's just something I'll have to live with and recognize that it's THEIR problem, not ours.

Deal with the toxic person in your life who thinks that your child is behind and then go do something fun with your kids.

I really just don't give a crap about what other people think.

It makes like so much easier.

 

[heatherzenzen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsfatty Minnesota's Educational Standards That's a link of the standards that are set in the public schools...

Now, THAT'S interesting. I don't see anything there about teaching the kids multiplication in kindergarten. So WHY are they being taught that stuff? I'm going to ask one of my neighbors. She's a math teacher, albeit a 5th grade teacher, and at a different elementary school than our neighborhood kids go to. I'll see what she says is the theory behind shoving this crap down their throats so early.

Thanks for the link!