ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS trust and listen to your instincts.
If you feel uncomfortable, don't take the chance.
If you feel uncomfortable, don't take the chance.
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Well not so say about specifics of types of porn...
as kiddie porn of underage children is brutal but for adults in porn.....
someone
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I know very well works in computers, 'fixes' many friends computers......and he'd say that basically most men's computers have porn files, not just a few pictures or links.... sad but true.
Also in my women's book club that was nondenominational run at a church in the church infront of the altar...one day the moms started confessing (testify?) their own addictions to internet porn (this was a church group of sahm mothers)
I think you should tell her that you did see some pretty brutal porn when looking for that recipie (if you were given permission in the first place)..that you weren't snooping and ask her if she's into gay male porn.....that should get the gears in her head rolling..but who knows it might be part of their sex life...stranger things do happen
But the porn aside, you have some pretty big issues/fears/concerns about this guy before. I don't personally feel the porn is an issue it was on a private computer not next to the disney dvd's where your kids could see them. Being into gay porn wouldn't make you a pedo.
as kiddie porn of underage children is brutal but for adults in porn.....
someone
Also in my women's book club that was nondenominational run at a church in the church infront of the altar...one day the moms started confessing (testify?) their own addictions to internet porn (this was a church group of sahm mothers)
I think you should tell her that you did see some pretty brutal porn when looking for that recipie (if you were given permission in the first place)..that you weren't snooping and ask her if she's into gay male porn.....that should get the gears in her head rolling..but who knows it might be part of their sex life...stranger things do happen
But the porn aside, you have some pretty big issues/fears/concerns about this guy before. I don't personally feel the porn is an issue it was on a private computer not next to the disney dvd's where your kids could see them. Being into gay porn wouldn't make you a pedo.
keep in mind also, that porn can show up on comletely innocent computers
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if a non-computer savvey person is opening spammy emails or clicking on dubious links so much crap can seep through and be saved in the cache.
that aside, trust your instincts.
if a non-computer savvey person is opening spammy emails or clicking on dubious links so much crap can seep through and be saved in the cache.
that aside, trust your instincts.
I agree that it might be your mom, as well as or instead of her husband, who looks at porn. Some women
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like gay male porn because it shows hot men with no women in the way.
Men who like small breasts have trouble finding them in porn other than the "barely legal" genre. As others have said, if the "young girls" you saw were past puberty, that doesn't raise concerns about your little daughter.
It's possible that your stepfather's friend is just a very close friend. It's possible that he's having a sexual relationship your mom doesn't know about. It's also possible that he's bisexual and your mom knows all about it but didn't think you needed to know.
Certainly trust your instincts about whether your daughter is safe there, but to the extent that you're using judgment rather than instinct, don't base your judgment on the porn alone. Whether or not you discuss it with your mom is your choice, based on how comfortable you are doing that and how much it's bothering you.
Men who like small breasts have trouble finding them in porn other than the "barely legal" genre. As others have said, if the "young girls" you saw were past puberty, that doesn't raise concerns about your little daughter.
It's possible that your stepfather's friend is just a very close friend. It's possible that he's having a sexual relationship your mom doesn't know about. It's also possible that he's bisexual and your mom knows all about it but didn't think you needed to know.
Certainly trust your instincts about whether your daughter is safe there, but to the extent that you're using judgment rather than instinct, don't base your judgment on the porn alone. Whether or not you discuss it with your mom is your choice, based on how comfortable you are doing that and how much it's bothering you.
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: That is my way of thinking. I personally would rather be safe then sorry and not take any chances. Ask your mother to come to your house and say that your children must always be with her and only her. If your mother asks why, just say that you would feel more comfortable.
Originally Posted by girlzmommy00 If you have to ask, than the answer is no. My take is that if you're even asking, you have reservations. I'd go with your instincts. |
We stayed at my mom and stepdad's condo last summer while on vacation (they were back here for the summer) and my dh got on their computer to look up stocks and was surprised to find porn on the computer. It really bothered me at first because he isn't my dad, he married my mother just a few years ago so I don't know him really well, and I know he has some undealt with issues from his past that he doesn't want to deal with (more things done to him rather than him doing things) but I don't have any specifics.
After dh told me I was sure I would never leave my boys alone with him. Then as my dh and I talked about it, we got to talking about my mom and stepdads total lack of any computer skills and realized that they are so illiterate when it comes to computers and especially the internet, neither one of them would probably have any idea of how to even find porn. Heck, they can't even open photos when we email them to them. My guess is that one of them blindly opened email and got sucked into porn hell where as soon as you click one screen closed, another porn screen pops up. They probably kept trying to get them closed, rather than simply shutting down the computer and starting over. I accidentally got sucked into porn hell once, but knew enough to just shut down rather than thinking I could get out of them.
Dh also said that their computer was so corrupted with spyware, viruses, worms and everything else you could think of, but they have no idea what spyware, viruses and worms are, and how to deal with them. So now, they just don't use their computer.
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I could never figure out why two totally computer illiterate people decided to get a computer anyway. We decided that we really didn't have any concerns and I have no issues leaving them alone with them.
If you have any prior concerns about this man, I would definitely follow your instincts, but I thought I'd share our story of naive, uncomputer savvy, grandparents who innocently end up with porn on their computer.
After dh told me I was sure I would never leave my boys alone with him. Then as my dh and I talked about it, we got to talking about my mom and stepdads total lack of any computer skills and realized that they are so illiterate when it comes to computers and especially the internet, neither one of them would probably have any idea of how to even find porn. Heck, they can't even open photos when we email them to them. My guess is that one of them blindly opened email and got sucked into porn hell where as soon as you click one screen closed, another porn screen pops up. They probably kept trying to get them closed, rather than simply shutting down the computer and starting over. I accidentally got sucked into porn hell once, but knew enough to just shut down rather than thinking I could get out of them.
Dh also said that their computer was so corrupted with spyware, viruses, worms and everything else you could think of, but they have no idea what spyware, viruses and worms are, and how to deal with them. So now, they just don't use their computer.
If you have any prior concerns about this man, I would definitely follow your instincts, but I thought I'd share our story of naive, uncomputer savvy, grandparents who innocently end up with porn on their computer.
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