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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A girl I go to church with has a two or three week old babe. Is it too late to convince her that BFing and not "keeping her awake ALL day so she'll sleep at night" is a better option for her little one. I don't know how long it takes to dry up a supply after birth if you have NEVER latched a child on. Please help in trying to save this baby from a undereducated new teen mom. Mom is a recent High school grad so she is just pulling from her own Mothers experiences. As we know that isn't always the right person to get parenting advice from.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Nobody knows? OR is it REALLY too late? I just found out yesterday. It was the first she's been to church. UGH! That poor baby. Induced weighed 6 lbs 4 ozs. Being FF. Forced to stay up ALL day in order for Mom to get a full nights sleep. She actually told my friend and I that she gave the baby two baths during the day on Sat just so she'd be able to "FORCE her to stay AWAKE". It makes me sick.
 

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It's not too late at all, but you're not going to be able to change her mind (imo). She sounds like she's parroting her mom and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
 

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Not too late for her milk supply. But as Kathryn said, not sure what success you'll have in changing her mind. I'd try because I'm a breastfeeding zealot, but hopefully you have more tack than me. Good luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Too late physiologically - no, never (and still <i>fairly</i> easy now).<br><br>
Too late psychologically - yea, probably. First she would need to realize her beliefs about the difficulty of breastfeeding are wrong. Then she needs to integrate new beliefs about the ease and superiority of breastfeeding. Then she needs to decide that going through a lot of hard work for the next couple weeks is worth that ease and superiority. Then she needs to get committed to actually doing it. THEN she would need to actually start relactating.<br><br>
You'd have better luck helping her see her baby as a person with needs - maybe invite her to a AP group (not LLL, obviously) so she can see a more nuturing style of mothering, or give her a book, or a sling. Work on changing her whole mindset so that even if this kid doesn't get breastmilk it will get nurtured, and maybe any future kids (or kids of her friends!) will be nursed.
 

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If I'm remembering correctly, my MIL didn't start nursing until hubby was a little over 1 month (due to misinformation from doc). Anyway, I'm quite sure it can be done! Maybe some mother's milk tea would help? Using a pump (along with babe) for additional stimulation? Good luck!<br>
~Betsy
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks guys. I am desperate to change the views on BFing at church. I appreciate your input and I think I know which way to go now.
 

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as others have said, you may not be successful, but it can't hurt to try AND you will likely feel better about yourself for having done so since it sounds like you're VERY upset about it. good luck!
 

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Info about how to reinduce lactation:<br><br><a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html" target="_blank">http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html</a><br><br>
But, yeah, unless you are her best friends, anything past 6 months before birth is probably too late <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well, I talked to her and there was NO budging. I got the Why in the world would I try to BF after I "Worked so hard to dry up". How do you work HARD to dry up. There is NO work involved in drying up. Unless you call doing NOTHING hard work. I was so upset. Besides that she looked at me as though I had sprouted five heads. Stupid Stupid Stupid. ARRRGGGHHH. I am so angry I could scream.
 

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Oh , that sucks. At least you tried, and she may just be feeling defensive. But I bet you made her think about it though. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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what shame <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> for you for trying, :cry for that poor baby who ha sa mom that is so unwilling to think about her needs.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">Nobody knows? OR is it REALLY too late? I just found out yesterday. It was the first she's been to church. UGH! That poor baby. Induced weighed 6 lbs 4 ozs. Being FF. Forced to stay up ALL day in order for Mom to get a full nights sleep. She actually told my friend and I that she gave the baby two baths during the day on Sat just so she'd be able to "FORCE her to stay AWAKE". It makes me sick.</div>
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It sounds like she has a lot to learn about parenting besides breastfeeding. I would give her some info on SIDS prevention. Babies that are sleep trained are more likely to have sleep apnea. They are <i>not</i> meant to sleep for long periods of time.
 

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oh that is so sad.. I can't imagine forcing a newborn to stay awake all day.. That is just cruel. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying">:
 

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I'm sorry you weren't able to make her budge on the bf'ing issue, it's kind of touchy with a lot of people, but I hope you'll have some luck with the sleep issue! Newborns NEED to sleep often! How sad, she sounds very ill prepared to be a mother, IMO. Poor sweet baby...<br><br>
Sadly, keeping a child awake all day to force him/her to sleep all night isn't clasified as 'child abuse'. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying">
 

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Can you get her to go to a parenting class? Even a mainstream one would at least keep her from doing major physical damage. I would think that SIDS would be a <i>very</i> high risk for an infant who has been kept awake all day.<br><br>
So sad.
 

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Maybe you should talk to the pastor about this girl. Maybe he/she could talk to the girl's mother and help get her some help. It's got to be really tough to be a teenage mom.<br><br>
Kara
 

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good on ya for making the effort! There are many who would just let it pass. You did a wonderful thing in trying to heighten her awareness. good luck dealing with the frustrating aftermath! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I think that's often the worst part of choosing what are considered non-mainstream ways to parent. *Sigh*
 

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OMG... ff aside, I can't believe she's keeping the baby awake all day. That is just awful. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> It's really awful to see babies treated that way, at church especially. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl">
 
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