[dubfam]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ellp</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11046688"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thats why I said "whistfully". Its not really teasing in as much as its making her realize that there are things to see and experience that you can't really do from being in a stroller. When I point out interesting things to her and say that she can't really experience them from where she is, she usually wants out at which point I do let her out.<br><br>
We do have a stroller that she can get in and out of. Its a Graco Metrolight, the most lightweight one I could find at the time which still had a decent basket. The problem is is that Dd wants the front bar up each time she gets in and out and because its child proofed it means I have to latch and unlatch each time which is a royal pain.<br><br>
We're not up to getting another stroller either, even a cheap umbrella one because we don't have the space for it. As I see it the span of time that she would use an umbrella one would make it unpractical.<br><br>
Just as an aside, I don't think a 3yo walking for 10-30mins is unreasonable. Dd's walks for that much and longer almost every day. More often than not "I" need to stop and so we'll go find a bench and perch for a bit.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
That sound more reasonable. It came across differently in your previous post when you said that you don't allow her to get out of the stroller once she is in....

 

[dubfam]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ellp</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11044381"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi Tricia,<br><br><br>
My stroller rules are that once you're in, you're in. You don't come in and out because its a strain on my back to bend over so many times for EVERY LITTLE THING. The exceptions are if there really is a genuine need to come out.<br><br>
I also make a point of showing her all the interesting things there are to see and touch on our walks that you aren't able to do because the stroller can't get close enough. I say whistfully that "if only you weren't in a stroller, you could touch/see". Sneaky...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> At the begining I would have to do A LOT of distraction to waylay the tantrums before they start.<br><br>
Over time Emma's gotten used to going out and walking while her younger sister rides, or they take turns and Sarah will go on my back. Emma's realized though that life's much more fun when you can skip, twirl and run instead of being trapped in a stroller the entire time.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
That's right...you did say this. You say that you don't let her out unless there is a "Genuine Need" (I would suppose you define the genuine needs)<br><br>
And you didn't mention how you will let her out to look at things<br><br>
from this post it really sounds like she is stuck in the stroller once she asks to sit in it...and then it sounds like she is being teased about what she is missing by being forced to remain in the stroller.<br><br>
I am very relieved to learn that is not what you meant, because it sounded so mean <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Sorry about that!

 

[mommy2abigail]

Haven't read all the posts yet, so sorry if this has been mentioned...but what about a wagon? She could get in and out of it on her own, and it's big enough to put stuff in...HTH

 

[widemouthedfrog]

Thanks for all of the replies!<br><br>
Yeah, misseks, I think that this is one of my "mommy issues." I walk to work and walk for a living (sometimes), so I am very, very big on walking.<br><br>
I get the sense from most of the posts that I might be expecting a bit much.<br><br>
Our walks vary. Sometimes they are 10-15 minutes, which she can walk easily IF she feels like it. Sometimes they are 30-45 minutes, and I would always bring backup for those because she does get tired. Especially since we live on a hill. I don't mind the dawdling at all, actually. But she's more of a sitter-and-looker than a walker-and-dawdler.<br><br>
It's the 10-15 minute walks when she asks for a ride 1 minute into it that drive me a bit nuts. That and when she won't leave the stroller outside a busy mall and people give me evil looks when I almost run over old ladies. Then I give up on shopping because it's unmanageable.<br><br>
I do distract her when we're walking ... or make up contests to see if we can run like a dog, or run to the corner where the bus is...but she is not easily fooled for more than a block. Too bad. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I like the idea of a wagon and had forgotten all about it until now. How easy are they to take up hills, though?<br><br>
I think that I may get a cheap umbrella stroller. We often use the stroller for storage after library and shopping trips, but I think that the umbrella stroller and a backpack might do. And I love the fact that it folds easily for the bus. Our big jogging stroller is an ancient one and doesn't fold, though I love it to pieces.<br><br>
Regarding getting in and out of things:<br><br>
The in-and-out situation is not really an issue with our big stroller, because I now get her to do that herself. She likes doing that herself, anyway. When it IS an issue (which made me really annoyed this past weekend) is when she wants in and out of the Patapum on forest walks. It takes a while to get her in and out, and it's a muddy experience, and then she wants down again in a few minutes. I did let her know that if she asks to go "up" on a hike, that means that she is in the patapum until we get a few blocks from home. Or we can decide to go home right then, but that might take a while. Her choice.

 

[DevaMajka]

My ds is 3.5 and wants to be in the stroller instead of walk much of the time. I do it if it's not going to make my life more difficult (and it's usually easier to use a stroller anyways). He generally wants to walk at least part of the way.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dawncayden</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11045237"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We recently got one of those really cheap umbrella strollers. Its heavenly! Its so light and great for transit and fitting into stores. It doesn't have much room for groceries but I can fit one big cloth bag on the handles.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I 2nd or 4th that. lol.<br>
It's nice to use in stores, and if you're grocery shopping there's sometimes a way to fit those baskets of the handles.<br>
I use a backpack, but as a benefit, if ds decides to walk on the way home, the backpack goes in the stroller, and I don't have to carry it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[LynnS6]

I'd also point out that she's not yet 3. She's 2 years 10 months. There's a huge difference between how far a 2 year 10 month old can walk and a 3 year 10 month old can walk!

 

[madskye]

I took DD, who just turned 3 on Weds on a hike this Sunday. It went pretty well. It was just about an hour, door to door. She walked about 75% of the time, and I carried her the rest. Our issue is that she likes to be carried, but this weekend I found that if I picked her up as requested, and carried her for a few moments, she would get right back down and walk most of the way. I guess she gets a little tuckered out and needs a quick break.<br><br>
So, maybe it's a little developmental and will come in time. This is the first real hike we have gone on (we don't live in the city, and in our local town I prefer that she stays in the stroller so she doesn't run off).

 

[Qestia]

Our place is tiny, 800 sq ft, we have room for an umbrella stroller! It's really just the size of an umbrella. And it was only $20. I think the wanting to be carried thing is pretty common at this age (based on the book "your three year old", my bible). Ds hiked uphill nonstop 30 minutes this weekend... but we still take the stroller on a ten minute walk to preschool each morning. Otherwise it would take 30 min easy. And I would just be too stressed out and I don't want to start each day all grumpy. I backpack it a lot too. It's working.

 

[widemouthedfrog]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>madskye</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11050853"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Our issue is that she likes to be carried, but this weekend I found that if I picked her up as requested, and carried her for a few moments, she would get right back down and walk most of the way. I guess she gets a little tuckered out and needs a quick break.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yep, I do this sometimes, and it does work pretty well. I do need to remind her that mommy also needs a break from carrying her, just like she needs a break from walking. So I will pick her up for a while and warn her when I am about ready to put her down again. Sometimes this works, sometimes not.<br><br>
Ok, I'll post on Freecycle this afternoon for an umbrella stroller.<br><br>
BTW, it wasn't me who didn't have room for the umbrella stroller - that was Ellaine. We just cleaned out our basement, so there is a lot of room down there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[koalove]

i dont think its unreasonable at all. its true, they do have little legs, but proprtionatly little bodies to carry on them. maybe if your kiddo isnt used to walking it may take a few weeks to build up the strength to make it too far, but i have lots of faith in the endurance and strength of children. my ds walks all over the place with rarely a complaint because that is how it has always been. he was carried for a long time but when i got pregnant that ended and when i was hauling groceries from the bus stop, there was no other choice. what happens in other cutlures that dont have strollers? yes, they carry for a long time but 3 year olds all over the world are walking long distances and even helping carry things over the distance! as adults we make it on long walks even when we are dead tired (i do it every day) and what harm come to us over it? sometimes life just requires kids to not get the ride all the time. as a single car less mama my son has really had to just do what we have to do, know what i mean? sounds like your dd is also at the stage of testing your limits (does this ever end?) and it might be an important time for you to let her know what has to happen for your life to function. im all for giving kiddos lots of credit and recognizing what that can do!

 

[nextcommercial]

I wouldn't carry her. Your own health is too important, and if you carry her alot it will eventually cause physical problems. (heels, back, or hips) <--I learned the hard way.<br><br>
Holding her for short periods of time and carrying her for a half mile are two different things.<br><br>
BUT, I would let her sit in a stroller. My dd sat in hers for nearly five years. It was the only way I could get anywhere fast enough, and I felt like I was getting more exercize that way. We used a wagon, stroller or bike trailer. She loved the wagon especially, and I didn't mind at all.

 

[paquerette]

I don't think everyone's kid is like my kid or anything, but I think they can have more stamina than we realise. We did a 2 mile hike on a semi-improved trail on Sunday. She hiked the whole thing with only being carried on a couple of the really dangerous parts, maybe 100 ft altogether. And she was still ready to run around and play after we were done.

 

[scoutycat]

I don't think that it's unreasonable to expect her to walk, but you need to pace yourself to her needs a bit. Kids don't walk purposefully from one point to another, plan breaks and snack stops along the way, pause to collect rocks etc. The breaks don't have to be long, usually a couple minutes is fine, but it lets them go in the little spurts on energy they are designed for. You can make up for it by getting them to go fast in the mean time. Other games we play are stop/go (one of us says stop, the other go) and animal walks (I give them an animal to move like, and they tell me when they need a new animal).

 

[misseks]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>scoutycat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11059667"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't think that it's unreasonable to expect her to walk, but you need to pace yourself to her needs a bit. Kids don't walk purposefully from one point to another</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
Can you let her get in & out on her own?<br><br>
I agree that shopping is unmanagable with an almost three year old. It's not just you (or her!)

 

[dawncayden]

Are you able to hang out with a kid the same age and go for walks/hikes? Ds always runs faster, longer and is less bored if we have one of his little buddies around.

 

[lolar2]

My Penelope Leach book says that it is very difficult for children to follow or walk alongside their parents until at least the third birthday, not because of stamina but because of how their brains are at that age. They are designed to run around the focal point of a stationary parent, or be carried by a moving one-- not move along with a moving target. So after a minute or two it becomes too much of a mental effort for them to handle.

 

[widemouthedfrog]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>koalove</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11056894"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i don't think its unreasonable at all...what happens in other cultures that dont have strollers? yes, they carry for a long time but 3 year olds all over the world are walking long distances and even helping carry things over the distance! as adults we make it on long walks even when we are dead tired (i do it every day) and what harm come to us over it? sometimes life just requires kids to not get the ride all the time. i'm all for giving kiddos lots of credit and recognizing what that can do!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yes, I guess if I phrase my "I really want her to walk," in more positive terms, what I really believe is that an almost-3-year-old IS totally physically capable of walking for quite a while. I have always had a high level of trust in my body's abilities, and I want her to have trust in her body's ability to be strong...instead of going for the stroller as the easy way out. In my mind, it's similar to allowing her be bored so that she can discover her ability to free play. I want her to learn about her body's limits.<br><br>
Then again, I also have to respect her emotional needs to be carried and also respect her need to sit in the stroller when she feels she is tired or when she needs to sit and watch.<br><br>
I know that I'm analyzing this thing to death. It's just one of my major triggers for mommy tantrums these days, and thank you for all of your thinking around how to deal with it!

 

[chfriend]

I made a decision that I would carry my 3 year old dd1 until she stopped asking. Just like I nursed her until she stopped and had her in my bed until she stopped.<br><br>
She's 7 now and stopped wanting to be carried before she gave up the other two.<br><br>
I'm old (48). And she's big...over 97% on height and weight. I gave her that as a gift and I'm pleased that I did.<br><br>
dd2 (3.75) wants to be carried if there are unfamiliar grownups around. Same gig.

 

[libranbutterfly]

I was car less this summer, and am carless most of the time now. Kamille turned 3 in January, and has no problem walking the 5 blocks to the bus stop. The bus goes most of the places we go, and I either carry or stroller Lexi (She walks the first couple blocks though, and can get out and walk more as she wants) What about a sit n stand stroller? Then if she gets tired, you can just stop and let her climb on, and when she wants to walk again, she can. I use this technique when we walk 11 blocks to the library, Kamille usually needs a break by the time we get to main street. My mom once took my brother to the zoo alone when he was 3, and she told him we walk at the zoo, we cant get a stroller. If you are tired, we can sit down and take a break together, or if you are really tired, we can go home. He walked the whole day w/out complaint (he slept really good that night, too)<br>
Another idea is maybe building up the ammount of walking she does? Start w/ 1 block walks (We have a friend that lives 1 block away) Then add on (we are 3 blocks from an elementary school)<br>
Try to make time for a few fun destinations, if possible.

 

[Breeder]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dubfam</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11047292"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I meant because people don't usually steal cheap strollers...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
not sure how you could have misunderstood that...</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Probably because a cheap stroller of mine was stolen (Graco) and then I was stuck carrying both grocery bags and a child to the bus stop. At least in the city, people steal what they need as well as expensive items.<br><br>
But I've got preggo brain so that probably played the biggest part.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">