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This article appeared in the Daily Telegraph last week. Interesting comparison, although I must say, I think that I have seen just as many anglo-saxon parents spank and scold.
Is Maman Mean or Magnifique?
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A very interesting article. Though I must say, it is probably not a good idea to generalise the 'Anglo-Saxon' way of bringing up children, just as it's not a good idea to think that children raised in the 6ème arr. Paris are the epitomy of French discipline. In other parts of France there are many more stay at home mothers, at least for the first 1-2 years. There are also French ex-pats who may differ from the entire 'French discipline' generalisation. This entire 'strict discipline' also has a lot of to with social class, in my opinion. The children I run into from Versailles (where dh is from and where my in-laws reside) all dress in a certain manner, address their parents and other elders using 'vous', and tend to be 'well-behaved' (at least in front of their parents/elders) because it is expected of them. There is this social element that is important as well. Not just the 'mean-ness' of the mothers.
Dh is French, and while we sometimes differ on certain disciplinary points with our older daughter, we do not spank. Our children are VERY well behaved, and can sit in a restaurant without running around and dominating the entire conversation (we eat out a lot...so they are used to restaurants).
On the contrary, one of my closest friends (French) here in Germany regularly spanks her children, says 'ça suffit' very often, and has attempted to instill certain disciplinary measures (sleeping through the night, eating at certain times, etc.) though a bit more relaxed because she is a stay at home mom.
The spanking and such seems to have had no effect on her discipline, because she is one of those children that gets into everything and runs away all the time. So much for the French model of behavior.
I have had a couple of comments from another French friend about how I'm raising my older daughter, but her daughter is a big bully so I just ignore her.
Dh is French, and while we sometimes differ on certain disciplinary points with our older daughter, we do not spank. Our children are VERY well behaved, and can sit in a restaurant without running around and dominating the entire conversation (we eat out a lot...so they are used to restaurants).
On the contrary, one of my closest friends (French) here in Germany regularly spanks her children, says 'ça suffit' very often, and has attempted to instill certain disciplinary measures (sleeping through the night, eating at certain times, etc.) though a bit more relaxed because she is a stay at home mom.
The spanking and such seems to have had no effect on her discipline, because she is one of those children that gets into everything and runs away all the time. So much for the French model of behavior.
I have had a couple of comments from another French friend about how I'm raising my older daughter, but her daughter is a big bully so I just ignore her.
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I agree that it's partly a class issue. And from what I've seen it leads to children who are very well-behaved in front of adults but absolutely wild and awful when no one is nearby to correct them.
I actually don't enjoy taking DS to the park because the children are so scary. It truly is Lord of the Flies there!
I actually don't enjoy taking DS to the park because the children are so scary. It truly is Lord of the Flies there!
I'm not French, I only live in Quebec, which was christened Nouvelle France in the 1600s.
Interesting article, because the French love affair with institutions does have some faint traces in Quebec here today. I've read for instance that Quebec has the highest rate of instituionalized seniors across Canada. And coupled with the Catholic Church's handling of all things education and health care until fairly recently, I see differences in how the handicapped are handled here versus Ontario.
Interesting article, because the French love affair with institutions does have some faint traces in Quebec here today. I've read for instance that Quebec has the highest rate of instituionalized seniors across Canada. And coupled with the Catholic Church's handling of all things education and health care until fairly recently, I see differences in how the handicapped are handled here versus Ontario.
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