[Justice2]

Hi all! Ok, here is the thing. I am buying hubby his first tatoo for father's day. He wants something with our ds's name on it. I told him that I didn't think that was a good idea. I have a dd from a previous marriage. She spends the majority of her year with us (and 2 months with her father). Hubby said that he wasn't going to include her name in this tatoo that the wants. I don't think that dd will understand and feel left and unloved. Hubby says that she isn't his *daughter* (we have arguments about this a great deal). He treats her great and with a great deal of love, but says that it isn't the same as the way he feels about ds.

So, is this something that I should fight? It's sad to me, but that is a topic for another thread.

 

[Justice2]

Hubby does treat dd with love, I cannot fault him with this. He hasn't discussed this around dd either. When we talk about it, I tell him that he has two children. Just because he isn't Justice's biodad, he is still her parent and she deserves what that entails. I don't think he understands this very simple concept. He tells me that she has a father. And he is right and Justice is pretty close with (and talks about a great deal) her father. I just don't think that he understands how this would hurt her. In every other area of our *blended* relationship, things are great and *blended* rather well. It's just this one issue and to me it's a biggie.

 

[Justice2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greaseball I think what's more troublesome than the tattoo is that he doesn't consider your dd to be his daughter. I hear a lot of remarried parents say they do consider the non-bio children to be their children, even if the bio-parents are still in the picture. I lived with my dad, stepmom and two half-sisters as a teen and it was really hurtful when my stepmom would introduce people and say "These are my daughters, and this is Steve's kid." It was like I wasn't really one of her family; I just lived there or something. Now she introduces me as her stepdaughter, and my dds as her grandchildren, and it makes a huge difference.

See, that's the thing. The only time he mentions the fact that she has a father is when we talk about the tatoo...
When we meet people, he calls her his daughter. When talking about our future or just things..she is his daughter...like "I really want to do XX because it's really gonna help our kids". It's just the issue of the tatoo. I am thinking too that it might have something to do with his family life growing up. Only his grandparents were not divorced. Every other (including his parents) couple were divorced and maybe he thinks that is going to happen and....Hell, I don't know. I do know that we are going to continue to discuss this because I don't want my dd hurt.